# If you get off with a mermaid, is it bestiality? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 8, 2012, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645 "2012-07-08T22:57:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/41 "2012-07-09T22:02:17Z")
She ain’t an animal if: [ol] [li]She can talk[/li][li]She can think[/li][li]She qualifies for an auto loan.[/li][/ol] What’s her credit score. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/42 "2012-07-09T22:10:12Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > She’s a person not an animal; at least no more than a human is an animal. I’d call it xenophilia, not bestiality. It’s not like have sex with a fish; it’s like having sex with an alien. Obligatory _Galaxy Quest_ quote: “Oh, that’s not right!” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/43 "2012-07-09T23:21:57Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I personally would just call that rape. Dude, chill. Mermaids ain’t for real. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/44 "2012-07-10T01:02:53Z")
No comment. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/45 "2012-07-10T07:16:56Z")
> [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](#): > > Yes, anybody who isn’t a _homo sapiens sapiens._ So in other words, sex between the rest of the world and Australians? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/46 "2012-07-10T07:46:37Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I personally would just call that rape. But not to her face, she’d probably slap you. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2012, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/47 "2012-07-10T11:56:24Z")
Actually, I have to add that if she has fishy reproductive parts, sex with her would be uniquely unsatisfying. And she’d call you Milt. ---
**Author:** ![StrangeBird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@StrangeBird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrangeBird)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/48 "2012-07-11T09:51:16Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’d say it would get called bestiality, but who cares really? It’s sort of the acceptable kind, like centaurs and swans. It’s all worked out magically somehow, because there’s an essence of humanity in these creatures during the act. It’s not like having sex with some dumb animal, there’s human love, or at least lust involved in both participants. It’s good to know **Tripolar** thinks that sex with swans is acceptable bestiality 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/49 "2012-07-11T10:20:01Z")
> [@StrangeBird](#): > > It’s good to know **Tripolar** thinks that sex with swans is acceptable bestiality 😉 Harpies have to come from _somewhere_. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/50 "2012-07-11T10:47:32Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Harpies have to come from _somewhere_. On that note: > [@](#): > > Human: Hey elf, you look like a girl. > Elf: To a human, everything must look like a girl. > Human: What? > Elf: Half-orcs, half-ogres… > Human: …shut up. > Dwarf: Half-dragons, half-kobolds. > Human: I said shut up! > Elf: … > Dwarf: … > Human: … > Elf: Centaurs… ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/51 "2012-07-11T10:53:37Z")
Say you were an Ed Gein type serial killer, seduced her and then, after killing her, cooked and ate her fish bits, would that be cannibalism? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/52 "2012-07-11T11:00:26Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > On that note: > > > [@](#): > > > > Human: Hey elf, you look like a girl. > > Elf: To a human, everything must look like a girl. > > Human: What? > > Elf: Half-orcs, half-ogres… > > Human: …shut up. > > Dwarf: Half-dragons, half-kobolds. > > Human: I said shut up! > > Elf: … > > Dwarf: … > > Human: … > > Elf: Centaurs… Ha, yes, I’ve seen that one. > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Say you were an Ed Gein type serial killer, seduced her and then, after killing her, cooked and ate her fish bits, would that be cannibalism? Probably not no matter what part you ate; cannibalism is eating your own species, and she’s clearly not human. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/53 "2012-07-11T21:48:32Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Say you were an Ed Gein type serial killer, seduced her and then, after killing her, cooked and ate her fish bits, would that be cannibalism? According to the Japanese, it would be the path to immortality. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/54 "2012-07-12T02:12:35Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Getting a blow job or hand job wouldn’t be bestiality, though. What if you just grouper? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/55 "2012-07-12T03:42:12Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Harpies have to come from _somewhere_. And here I always thought that was _herpes_. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/56 "2012-07-16T16:48:53Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > Say you were an Ed Gein type serial killer, seduced her and then, after killing her, cooked and ate her fish bits, would that be cannibalism? As sick as that is, there was once a six-panel full-color _Mad Magazine_ cartoon wherein a near-sighted grannie-type couldn’t make the distinction between a mermaid a family member had just caught and any other large “fish” – with disastrous results for the young mer-lass. But what can you expect from MM? They once had a two panel “Movie Scenes We’d Like to See” wherein we first see a cheerful Dorothy informing the Cowardly Lion that he could now “do anything” since he now had courage. In the second panel we see nothing more of Dorothy than the some of the clothes she was wearing, with a similar fate for the Scarecrow and even the Tin Woodsman (his funnel cap was all that was left) – and the Lion was bloated and burping. You’d think that straw would be hard enough to eat, let alone metal. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/57 "2012-07-26T16:01:12Z")
> [@TheChileanBlob](#): > > Bestiality is wrong because animals can’t consent, but in the mermaid’s case, the part with the brain is people. So it’s kind of insulting to call her a _beast._ So in other words, yes it’s bestiality, but it’s OK. Enh, due to the consent part, I’d say it’s not bestiality. I mean, if the brain is as a fully functional human, then no, it’s not a beast, and it’s not bestiality. Enh, what DerTrihs said: xeno-whatsitcalled ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2012, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645/58 "2012-07-26T16:14:43Z")
Well, there’s mermaids like we see on the Discovery Channel–the big conspiracy theory to hide real-live things that are dolphinesque on the bottom and marine-hominid-looking on top. That’d be beastiality like doing a dolphin. Then there’s the magical ones that are beautiful humans on top and, when they get on land, completely imperceptible from nekkid babes. I’m not sure if intercourse with a supernatural being is beastiality. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-get-off-with-a-mermaid-is-it-bestiality/627645.md?page=2)