# If you had a billion dollars: What are some truly bizarre or weird or eccentric things you would do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2026, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356 "2026-05-24T22:02:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/61 "2026-05-25T20:34:09Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > I would be tempted to get one of those Beatles artifacts I kinda like that idea. I’d buy the original instruments from the first Sullivan appearance and lend them to various garage bands to use at their first gig…which would sell out thanks to what the instruments they were playing. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/62 "2026-05-25T20:38:59Z")
Dent County, Missouri would be the testing ground for a nationwide public transit iniative that would serve the rural poor. Basically, a fleet of Waymos would be in a garage somewhere. All of the low-income folks who can’t afford transportation are given a sort of voucher for so many miles in a month, and they could use them for trips to medical appointments, the grocery store, work, job training, education, etc. Cameras would monitor the interiors for chicanery, and anyone caught vandalizing the vehicle is out of the program. If it works, maybe governments will take it up. Meanwhile, 200 miles away, Springfield, Illinois will be the testing ground for an innovative new type of private school. It will be 100 percent non-sectarian, and free, but each class will have 20-25 kids, no more. Kids will learn not just the three Rs, but also things like cooking and meal planning (there will be no cafeteria, rather, there will be a learning kitchen where they make their own lunches); budgeting; financial literacy; media literacy; growing your own food; car maintenance and repair; etc. etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/63 "2026-05-25T20:45:16Z")
> [@Past\_Paper](#): > > That’s cool!, but none of those are particularly weird or eccentric in any way. Right. My mom’s house was sold after her death and a very nice $2 million house on the tiny lot was built. I would buy it for my family/friends to use at any time they want. It would mostly remain empty except when I would be visiting my cousin (best friend, she lives in the area). The drive sort of sucks, so I would get a chauffeur to be on call. Limo, with a little bit wider tires and a little bit of ‘throaty’ sound. Or they can drive my '57 Chevy. I would build/buy a personal art studio (art is messy). That can be in the garage with my '57 Chevy and shooting range. Some 9mm, .45acp, and relax with pastels. How am I doing? ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/64 "2026-05-25T20:48:16Z")
Gotcha. Of course, just making it heavy only means strong people could pick it up easily. Which completely evades what the hammer is about. It’s not about the strong, but those worthy. But hey…if you’ve got $1 billion and can find enough iridium I say go for it. ---
**Author:** ![Past\_Paper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/past_paper/32/21268_2.png) [@Past\_Paper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Past_Paper)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/65 "2026-05-25T20:48:32Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > How am I doing? All of that stuff’s really cool, but it’s definitely not “eccentric, weird, super-obscure, or downright bizarre/mind-blowing”-type stuff that I’m aiming for in this topic ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/66 "2026-05-25T20:54:56Z")
Pretty much everybody at that level would buy a yacht. But they want a pretty, luxurious, floating hotel. Mine would be an expedition yacht, probably starting from an old Soviet icebreaker. It would be something that could go anywhere, anytime, and could stay at sea for many months on end. And I would prefer it to have a nuclear power source. That’s where I would be planning to spend the next pandemic. So the crew cabins would be private, and much larger than usual. I would want them to live aboard, and everyone to eat at the same table. I would invite scientists to use it for missions and go along to learn and observe. Most likely I’d do things like that on land as well. Using the money to fulfill a lifetime of curiosity would be my ultimate luxury. Holding scientific and philosophical conferences at my home would be my dream, just because it would allow me the chance to sit and listen, asking the occasional question. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/67 "2026-05-25T20:59:25Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Pretty much everybody at that level would buy a yacht. But they want a pretty, luxurious, floating hotel. Mine would e an expedition yacht, probably starting from an old Soviet icebreaker. I would something that could go anywhere, anytime, and could stay at sea for many months on end. And I would prefer it to have a nuclear power source. Not nuclear but see Steam owner’s setup. An expedition yacht AND a support yacht that follows it. Luxury and science in one place: > **[Oceanco reveals first images of Gabe Newell's 111m superyacht Leviathan in...](https://www.boatinternational.com/yachts/news/oceanco-y722-superyacht-leviathan-delivery)** > > Dutch yard Oceanco has released the first images of the 111-metre superyacht Leviathan in operation, following her delivery and sea trials off the coast of Stellendam, the Netherlands. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/68 "2026-05-25T21:00:55Z")
Is this the one where they had to knock down a bridge in order to deliver it? ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/69 "2026-05-25T21:01:06Z")
**“I myself am strange and unusual.”** – Winona Ryder (Beetlejuice) I don’t really have to work at it. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/70 "2026-05-25T21:04:17Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Is this the one where they had to knock down a bridge in order to deliver it? I think that was Jeff Bezos’ yacht. (not 100% on that though) ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/71 "2026-05-25T21:14:22Z")
I’d fund anti-confederate propaganda films and screen them publicly wherever they still have statues. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/72 "2026-05-25T21:26:45Z")
Super Villain Lair. Underground passages, towers, lookouts, hidey-holes. You know, standard stuff. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/73 "2026-05-25T21:29:46Z")
I remember that. Wasn’t there a way to flood the ballest an take some masts down. I’d tell him to 'f off. Sorry dude. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/74 "2026-05-25T21:33:45Z")
It would take severa billion, not just one, but: Major League Soccer (MLS) would be at the top of a four-tier (or five-tier or six-tier) system with promotion and relegation between the leagues. That means that towns the size of Joplin, Casper, Twin Falls, Bowling Green, etc. would have teams that could, theoretically, move up. Attendance will be dismal the first decade or so, but the next part of my Evil Plan will help put more butts in the seats. The USA will develop soccer talent in the same way that Europe and South America do. That would require teams building their developmental programs in a way that respects the geographical, financial, and economic realities of the tens of millions of Americans who don’t live within a half hour’s drive of a major city. I don’t know how exactly that would pan out, but with billions, I can pay smarter people than I to figure it out. As for the kids who want to play but aren’t the caliber of player for developmental leagues, we’d still have a nationwide system that would give them opportunities to play against other teams in their geographical area (more or less; America is quite spread out, ya know). And it WOULD NOT involve those ferkakte “traveling teams,” where the kids’parents pay a small fortune (I’ve heard that it can be in the thousands) for the “prestige” of playing for such a team. And then, after two decades have passed and I’m pushing 80, maybe, just maybe, the USA will field a team capable of winning the World Cup. Not (directly) related to soccer would be my nationwide propaganda to Make America _Good_ Again. Through TV ads, YouTube videos, and other channels, I’d deliver professionally-made videos that touch at the heart strings, encouraging Americans to, well, just, be better. This program would also include efforts to steer Americans back into social capital-producing experiences, such as fraternal societies, hobbyist groups, etc. I’d encourage Americans to set aside at least two nights per week to get out of the house and into a PTA meeting, a Moose Lodge meeting, a local art performance, or a soccer game at their 5th-tier team’s stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/75 "2026-05-25T21:54:44Z")
I’d buy an old, surplus ICBM silo and retrofit it for livin’ in! Or if they’re all bought up, I’d take some old, Civil Defense bunker somewheres. Tripler Ok, this probably isn’t that eccentric, _until I add the **laser tag** arena!_ ---
**Author:** ![N9IWP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/n9iwp/32/3154_2.png) [@N9IWP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N9IWP)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/76 "2026-05-25T22:24:56Z")
Buy up a bunch of land so the Ice Age Trail is complete with no road sections – maybe add some campgrounds and campsites. [Ice Age Trail - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_Age_Trail) Heck, do that for as many hiking and biking trails as I can. With any money left over, convert a flying boat (maybe an Albatross) into an RV (flying yacht, but doesn’t need to be super fancy, just nice enough to stay aboard for a week or so) Brian ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/77 "2026-05-25T23:28:47Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > > [@TruCelt](#): > > > > Pretty much everybody at that level would buy a yacht. But they want a pretty, luxurious, floating hotel. Mine would e an expedition yacht, probably starting from an old Soviet icebreaker. I would something that could go anywhere, anytime, and could stay at sea for many months on end. And I would prefer it to have a nuclear power source. > > Not nuclear but see Steam owner’s setup. An expedition yacht AND a support yacht that follows it. > > Luxury and science in one place: Since going anywhere at any time is a goal, I’d recommend adding some Boba Fett / Mandalorian style jet packs to the setup 😀 ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/78 "2026-05-25T23:34:20Z")
> [@N9IWP](#): > > Heck, do that for as many hiking and biking trails as I can. One of my high school classmates did this for a large section of the John O’Groats trail (nearly 150 miles total, don’t know how much was his section.) He mostly bought easements where needed and funded clean-up, gravel, fencing, and stiles along the way. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/79 "2026-05-25T23:38:00Z")
Adding to the weird and bizarre… In similar threads (again, similar) we’ve talked about building an Old Doper’s Home, with token rent, abundant cooking / baking / brewing facilities, a library to die for, and (increasingly) in-home expert care - either before or after buying the rights to the site… But with a BILLION, we can think big! 1. Buy the rights to an existing town or municipality (domestic or otherwise), and assemble the Platonic Ideal of Us as Philosopher Kings, with all reasonable needs paid for gratis for board members. Others can come to us to lean from our wisdom or fear our crotchety moments. Families can be assured of our health and safety, but limit their exposure to small doses. Of course, other than cooking, smoking, grilling, drinking, and demanding that ONE perfect spot in the library, we’d all seclude ourselves away in our personal luxury condos, and only communicate online… 2. As above, but mobile! Imagine a caravan of luxury RV’s (one or two dopers per) being driven around the nation by professionals, stopping at every weird point of interest, historical site, or remembrance of that ONE place with really, really good XYZ upon our whims. As we travel through the nation, Dopers can cycle in our out as their moods take them. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356/80 "2026-05-25T23:53:36Z")
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I want a huge, dark house in the most desolate part of England. Indoors, it’ll look like a Hammer movie set/the Addams family house/Misselthwaite Manor/Wuthering Heights/Manderley/the House of Piranesi. There will be a clock in its walls. Outdoors, a tarn, a maze, hedge animals, a reflecting ball in the garden, an abandoned cottage with a room made of seashells, and a thick forest where a lantern on a post burns eternally. Within, walls will continue upright, bricks meet neatly, floors will be firm, and doors sensibly shut, and I will walk there alone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-billion-dollars-what-are-some-truly-bizarre-or-weird-or-eccentric-things-you-would-do/1030356.md?page=5)