# If you had a hammer... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 12, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388 "2006-09-12T11:03:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JHR1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@JHR1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JHR1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/1 "2006-09-12T11:03:32Z")
…when and where would you hammer? ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/2 "2006-09-12T11:42:42Z")
> [@JHR1](#): > > …when and where would you hammer? I’d hammer in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/3 "2006-09-12T11:46:00Z")
You know the one with a hammer that bothers me? The lady in the first **Hellraiser** movie. She uses her hammer to hit guys over the head so that her dead boyfriend can come back to life. ventually she gets to Hell and meets the Cenobites, including Pinhead, the guy with nails sticking out of his head in all directions. Now, here are two people simply _made_ for each other. I can see her banging all those nails in, then turning him over and banging them back out. But noooooo. She never even gets the hammer _near_ him. What a letdown! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/4 "2006-09-12T11:52:43Z")
You know the one with a hammer that bothers me? The lady in the first **Hellraiser** movie. She uses her hammer to hit guys over the head so that her dead boyfriend can come back to life. ventually she gets to Hell and meets the Cenobites, including Pinhead, the guy with nails sticking out of his head in all directions. Now, here are two people simply _made_ for each other. I can see her banging all those nails in, then turning him over and banging them back out. But noooooo. She never even gets the hammer _near_ him. What a letdown! ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/5 "2006-09-12T11:58:59Z")
I’d hammer in the evening. ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/6 "2006-09-12T12:02:04Z")
All over this land. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/7 "2006-09-12T12:04:16Z")
I have a hammer with a metal head and a hammer with a plastic head. I hammer with them in my flat and Mom’s flat and Lilbro’s flat, being sort of the family’s official hammerer whenever Middlebro isn’t involved. Middlebro doesn’t like being outhammered. ---
**Author:** ![Freelancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@Freelancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freelancer)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/8 "2006-09-12T12:13:11Z")
I’d hammer my little brother RIGHT now, he’s being annoying once again… ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/9 "2006-09-12T12:50:05Z")
I had a friend who was one of nine kids. She’d occasionally burst into her own rendition of that song: If I had a hammer I’d hammer in the Mor-or-ning I’d hammer in the eve-ning All over this la-a-a-and I’d hammer out danger I’d hammer out a war-r-ning I’d hammer out Linda, Pat, Peggy, Sue and Nick…Kath, Pen, Bobbi and Joe Ooo Oooo Oooo Oooo ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/10 "2006-09-12T12:53:49Z")
It’s a hammer of justice. It’s a hammer of freedom. It’s a hammer of looooove between ma brothers and ma sisters. Aaaaaaa-aaaaaall over this land. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/11 "2006-09-12T13:01:30Z")
Which brings up the question, what would you do if you had a bell? ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/12 "2006-09-12T13:04:22Z")
I would ring it in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/13 "2006-09-12T13:06:05Z")
This is sort of opinion, but it’s _really_ pointless. Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/14 "2006-09-12T13:08:04Z")
If I had a hammer, I think everything would look like a nail. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/15 "2006-09-12T13:25:42Z")
STOP! Hammer time. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/16 "2006-09-12T13:27:23Z")
I would SMITE the evil Giants of Jötnar! FOR ODIN AND ASGARD!!! ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/17 "2006-09-12T13:29:52Z")
Every time you see me, That Hammer just so hype. I’m dope on the floor, and I’m magic on the mike. Now why would I ever stop doing this? With others making records that just don’t hit. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/18 "2006-09-12T13:30:49Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > STOP! > > Hammer time. Jeez lou-eezz you just made my morning. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/19 "2006-09-12T14:58:33Z")
I’d Hammer at Suppertime… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/20 "2006-09-12T15:16:54Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If I had a hammer, I think everything would look like a nail. Well I’d rather be a hammer than a nail. Yes I would! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388.md?page=2)