# If you had a hammer...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 12, 2006, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388 "2006-09-12T11:03:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/41 "2006-09-13T01:57:46Z")

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> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#):
>
> Hippie.  
> 😛  
> 😃

Yeah, but are you going to Scarborough Fair?

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/42 "2006-09-13T02:01:31Z")

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> [@Eonwe](#):
>
> Well, sure! Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads!

I’d rather have a rock to wind a string around.

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**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/43 "2006-09-13T02:13:04Z")

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If I had a hammer  
I’d wake up my neighbours  
Pounding out a rhythm  
All about you  
But I don’t have a hammer. Because I’m a post post-modern [wo]man.

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**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\
**Post date:** [September 13, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-a-hammer/372388/44 "2006-09-13T02:17:39Z")

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> [@The Weird One](#):
>
> I’d hammer Bob Dylan for writing “Blowin’ in the Wind” – I _hate_ hypothetical questions!

Some alternate lyrics, from some actress on some show on some TV channel some while back:  
“The ants are my friends. They’re blowing in the wind. The ants, sir, are blowing in the wind.”

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