# If you had ONE piece of advice to give to others based on a mistake what would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 9, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224 "2008-10-09T20:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/101 "2008-10-12T10:52:01Z")
In order of descending priority: Use birth control. (Though not speaking from personal mistakes, just firsthand observations.) Be yourself; everyone worth knowing can sniff out fakers (including employers), but you’re fine the way you are. I’ll echo the “don’t get into debt” advice. It’s not just crippling financially, it’s also psychologically crippling; the overwhelming guilt when you buy something that isn’t a necessity can be amazing. It’s been years for me and I still appreciate that free and clear conscience when I buy a book. Most of your co-workers and friends spend way, way beyond their means. Don’t emulate them. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/102 "2008-10-12T19:00:33Z")
> [@dre2xl](#): > > I\ > Most of your co-workers and friends spend way, way beyond their means. Don’t emulate them. That’s a really, REALLY good point - if everyone seems to be doing better than you are, and having nicer things, and taking better vacations, etc., chances are they’re putting a lot of it on credit. You’ve got decades worth of living and accumulating to do; you can take a year or two to save up and buy yourself nice things with real money. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/103 "2008-10-12T20:43:00Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > The mental affects the physical. Don’t spend more time worrying about something than working to improve it, and don’t let anxiety get to the point where it makes you physically ill. For that matter, remember that the physical affects the mental. Eating right and getting some exercise can help a lot. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Librarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_librarian/32/402_2.png) [@The\_Librarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Librarian)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/104 "2008-10-12T21:51:49Z")
Learn the difference between knowing, wishing and believing. ---
**Author:** ![mamakat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@mamakat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamakat)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/105 "2008-10-13T05:19:47Z")
If a random guy is trying to fuck you and won’t stop when you tell him, don’t stop telling him because you feel bad that you might hurt his feelings! You’ll fuck up your entire life and lose the only man you’ve ever loved. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/106 "2008-10-13T05:28:58Z")
If you’re ever visiting or on a farm where cows are kept and you see these metal, rake-like things above each of them when they’re in their stalls…? Don’t touch 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2008, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/107 "2008-10-13T05:43:36Z")
Mind your integrity even in little things. ---
**Author:** ![chromaticity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@chromaticity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chromaticity)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/108 "2008-10-14T14:53:20Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Do not involve yourself romantically with a married woman, or man for that matter. Even if it ends relatively well, it’s just not worth it, and no matter what the reason it’s not proper to put yourself in such a position… I would like to add. Never wait for a married woman to divorce her husband and be with you. Not gonna happen. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/109 "2008-10-14T15:52:55Z")
Fear the beer goggles. If you’re on a bender and this hot chick is showing interest in you there is nearly a 100% chance that in reality she is far from hot and in the morning you will hate yourself. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/110 "2008-10-14T15:58:57Z")
If your (adult) boyfriend will defy his parents to date/sleep with you but won’t defy his parents to _marry_ you, dump that mama’s boy and run for the hills. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/111 "2008-10-14T19:31:25Z")
> [@chromaticity](#): > > I would like to add. Never wait for a married woman to divorce her husband and be with you. Not gonna happen. Untrue, but my prior advice still holds just as well ^^;; ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/112 "2008-10-14T20:08:21Z")
The best advice I’ve ever gotten is to not be afraid of change. If you’re not happy where you are, it’s worth taking the chance on making a change in your life and trying something new. ---
**Author:** ![spifflog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@spifflog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spifflog)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/113 "2008-10-14T21:39:15Z")
It’s the size of his heart that matters, not the size of his wallet ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/114 "2008-10-14T21:53:51Z")
If you like getting fucked up more than anything else, don’t wait 25 years to quit. Do it now. ---
**Author:** ![Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a4c791/32.png) [@Frustrated\_Wonderer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frustrated_Wonderer)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/115 "2008-10-14T23:10:50Z")
Oh, and as I found out this weekend, do listen and ACT on your own advice. It dosent hurt to practice the things you preach. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/116 "2008-10-14T23:12:21Z")
It’s better to have _good_ friends than _cool_ friends. The best advice I’ve ever heard if you’re wondering if your SO is “The One”: Ask yourself if you would still marry this person if it turned out that you could never, ever have children together. If the answer’s yes, that’s a good sign. It’ll help keep you from settling just because your biological clock’s ticking. Don’t mix bleach and ammonia! ---
**Author:** ![Sublata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sublata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublata)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/117 "2008-10-15T14:34:16Z")
> [@Lionne](#): > > Some people just aren’t into you. You can’t force, ply or persuade someone into thinking otherwise. Just move on. Yes, and buying him gifts or giving him money won’t make him love you, won’t make him stay with you, won’t even make him like you. > [@BrknButterfly](#): > > \If you want something bad enough, you have the power to achieve anything.\ I’m sorry, but one has only to watch the _American Idol_ auditions to know that this isn’t always true. Some people love to sing, desperately want to be singers, and just can’t sing. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/118 "2008-10-15T15:59:34Z")
If you & friends have an idea to go into business together, and you’re the only one with a decent credit rating. there is a reason. And pursuant to that, get EVERYTHING on paper. If you rely on Gentlemen’s Agreements, you’ll discover the two things wrong with that term. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/119 "2008-10-15T17:16:57Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > If you & friends have an idea to go into business together, and you’re the only one with a decent credit rating. there is a reason. > > And pursuant to that, get EVERYTHING on paper. If you rely on Gentlemen’s Agreements, you’ll discover the two things wrong with that term. I would suggest watching a couple of weeks of “Judge Judy” as a requirement for everyone thinking of doing business with, loaning money to, or co-signing loans with friends and/or family. If you say no to your family or friends, they might be mad at you, but it’s not going to end up in court. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224/120 "2008-10-15T17:29:30Z")
> [@masterofnone](#): > > Personally, I think you’ve got this backwards. I took a 6K/year pay cut and lost stock options to get out of a corporate bullshit job and back into a job in academia that I love. YMWV On the other hand, the “fun factor” loses its appeal when you are living farther down the economic ladder than you know you have to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-one-piece-of-advice-to-give-to-others-based-on-a-mistake-what-would-it-be/467224.md?page=7)