# If you had the ultimate sex toy, would you want a significant other? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 16, 2009, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060 "2009-02-16T06:23:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/21 "2009-02-16T14:45:46Z")
If you could magically design an ultimate sex toy that emulates the experience of a significant other provides perfectly, then wouldn’t it _be_ a significant other, but just you know, a robot. If these robots can get a job, take me out to dinner etc too, then that’d be great. I could even program it to never cheat. Sure, that would replace a human! ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/22 "2009-02-16T14:54:16Z")
I don’t think they could manufacture an “ultimate sex toy” that would be a substitute for a real human being; too many small but important points to consider. Would it’s hair smell good? Would it’s skin be soft? Would it squeal when I nibbled it’s inner thigh? Sex, to me at least, is about much more than fun things happening to my schlong; it’s a total body, _shared_ experience. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/23 "2009-02-16T14:56:09Z")
> [@astro](#): > > I don’t know. I kind of get the impression that the people who would prefer sex-bots and orgasmatrons are more likely to plop their rear ends into a chair post andro-coitus for a marathon round of Second Life or WoW vs taking their sexy selves out clubbing. It’s just a guess. It sounds like you are thinking about a sex toy that could be made with current tech. I’m thinking about something that’s 50-150 years down the road. Something that looks and smells as good as or better than a real woman and can make casual conversation. Now, suppose you’re Joe Blow, a regular guy not your WoW geek, and you got a $5000 bonus at work and you buy yourself a Scarlett Johansen model 7211a because you figure she’ll be Ms. Right Now on nights when Ms. Right has a headache. Model 7211a looks just like Scarlet Johansen, shows every appearance of absolutely adoring you, and will HAPPILY do whatever you like in the bedroom, and is really good at it. Meanwhile, there’s this girl you kinda like in Accounting. She’s a lot more plain than Scarlet Johanson Model 7211a and seems to kinda sorta like you. How much do you want to ask her out on a date if you have Scarlet Johansen Model 1711a at home? What’s your motivation? What can she give you that the Model 1711a can’t in the bedroom, as a practical matter? My guess is that when regular guys can easily purchase their own movie-star lookalike whores for their bedrooms, they’re going to stop being so interested in inviting the more difficult, intractable, less attractive, less sexy Real Things in. Why should they bother, except for the whole child-rearing thing? Maybe the effect of lifelike sex toys would be to make all dating oriented toward establishing families, rather than sex. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/24 "2009-02-16T15:06:10Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > What can she give you that the Model 1711a can’t in the bedroom, as a practical matter? Herself? > [@Evil Captor](#): > > My guess is that when regular guys can easily purchase their own movie-star lookalike whores for their bedrooms, they’re going to stop being so interested in inviting the more difficult, intractable, less attractive, less sexy Real Things in. That’s rather spectacularly emotionally stunted. Or just unbelievably, ridiculously, I-give-up-on-life lazy. One of those, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/25 "2009-02-16T15:20:11Z")
I think that there are people in the world who would prefer a robot of that sort rather than a live person, for various reasons. The same gentlemen who buy Real Dolls, for example. I also think that human lovers/SOs will never go out of style, for all of the reasons listed above, and then some. There are many emotional and social reasons to create a family with another human. I don’t think that will ever change. Oh, to answer the OP: If I didn’t have an SO, I wouldn’t want that kind of sex toy either. ---
**Author:** ![HolyFreakingMoly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7ba0ec/32.png) [@HolyFreakingMoly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HolyFreakingMoly)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/26 "2009-02-16T15:36:10Z")
Can it reach the stuff on the top shelves, change my oil, take out the garbage and watch the kids? ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/27 "2009-02-16T16:22:40Z")
> [@evil captor](#): > > Let’s say for a hypothetical guy, he has an android that looks like Jessica Alba and behaves like Jenna Jameson in the bedroom, and smells like bacon frying. Get Out of My Head! ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/28 "2009-02-16T16:23:48Z")
To be clear, I would want the ultimate sex toy for the sake of sex, not to turn it into my boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/29 "2009-02-16T22:01:05Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > My guess is that when regular guys can easily purchase their own movie-star lookalike whores for their bedrooms, they’re going to stop being so interested in inviting the more difficult, intractable, less attractive, less sexy Real Things in. Why should they bother, except for the whole child-rearing thing? It’s probably best that those sorts of dudes are kept as far away from real, fertile human wombs as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Aghris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecccb3/32.png) [@Aghris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aghris)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/30 "2009-02-16T22:32:31Z")
I’m probably one of the few in the camp who would go for such a thing. Me and my best friend are totally gay for each other, except that, alas, he is not actually gay. If I were to have a toy that I could program to be exactly like him in all mannerisms and everything, I would totally do him, and have all the non-sexual real life stuff with the guy himself. My life could not get any better. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/31 "2009-02-16T22:46:40Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Herself? Women don’t do that any more. It’s considered really uncool. > [@](#): > > That’s rather spectacularly emotionally stunted. Or just unbelievably, ridiculously, I-give-up-on-life lazy. One of those, anyway. Nah, it’s just pragmatism. You seem to think that not wanting a woman as a Significant Other because you’ve already got a better sex partner that you just happened to have bought, means a guy (insert other genders as appropriate) does not want human relationships at all. No, there’s still friendships, family and such. But romantic relationships tend to be rather high maintenance. Friendships are much easier to maintain, and family will often stick with you even if you’re a total jerk. Hey, maybe the effect of ultimate sex toys would be to make sexual relationships easier to maintain, because if a person knew he or she were being too difficult, there would be a machine waiting in the wings to replace her or him, so to speak. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/32 "2009-02-16T23:05:43Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > I think that there are people in the world who would prefer a robot of that sort rather than a live person, for various reasons. The same gentlemen who buy Real Dolls, for example. Yeah, you gotta believe that if a guy will spend several thousand dollars on a Real Doll, that there probably is a market for synthetic lovers out there. > [@](#): > > I also think that human lovers/SOs will never go out of style, for all of the reasons listed above, and then some. There’s already a lot of guys who own Real Dolls, as you point out, and if you’d ever read “Confessions of a Porn Clerk” you’d know there are a lot of guys out there who use videotapes/DVDs as substitutes for human relationships. If sex tech made a quantum leap, it might just take a whole raft of guys (and some gals) out of the relationship pool. > [@](#): > > There are many emotional and social reasons to create a family with another human. I don’t think that will ever change. Sure, sex toys can’t get pregnant, or make you pregnant. A lot of men and women will still want families. So guys will have wives for child-bearing and rearing and bots for sexual release. It’s just exactly like the guys who used to own slaves. They’d have wives and official kids, but they’d also be fucking the slavegirls. Why would it be otherwise, especially since the humanity considerations wouldn’t apply in the case of bots? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/33 "2009-02-16T23:16:10Z")
> [@HolyFreakingMoly](#): > > Can it reach the stuff on the top shelves, change my oil, take out the garbage and watch the kids? Sure, the first two can be programmed if you can program an android to do sex. The last part, not so much. I mean, it could watch the kids, but it couldn’t MAKE the kids. And it wouldn’t have that very special attentiveness when watching kids that having its DNA on the line gives most fathers. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/34 "2009-02-16T23:17:22Z")
> [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](#): > > To be clear, I would want the ultimate sex toy for the sake of sex, not to turn it into my boyfriend. Sure, that’s kinda been my thought all along. But would you want your boyfriend so much if it all of his sexual abilities were more than matched by a sex toy/droid/mcguffin? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/35 "2009-02-16T23:18:25Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > It’s probably best that those sorts of dudes are kept as far away from real, fertile human wombs as possible. But you may be speaking of guys generally here, given a quantum link in sex toy tech. Doesn’t speak well for the future of the human race. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/36 "2009-02-16T23:19:55Z")
> [@Aghris](#): > > I’m probably one of the few in the camp who would go for such a thing. Me and my best friend are totally gay for each other, except that, alas, he is not actually gay. If I were to have a toy that I could program to be exactly like him in all mannerisms and everything, I would totally do him, and have all the non-sexual real life stuff with the guy himself. My life could not get any better. Sure, it’s a great solution for unrequited love. Then one day, you find yourself requesting a change to the guy’s features, and you know you’re over him. Also would make a great beard for people who aren’t out. ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/37 "2009-02-16T23:27:40Z")
> [@Sodalite](#): > > Wasn’t there an episode of Futurama about this? Don’t date robots! Unfortunately Fox seems to have taken the scene down off of Youtube. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/38 "2009-02-16T23:30:59Z")
Well, this is an intriguing question for a paraphiliac like myself, because my “ultimate sex toy” is my imagination, which generates my odd “superheroine-in-peril” scenarios, and I prefer it over having a significant other. I have had girl-friends in the past, but I basically prefer fantasy to reality as far as my odd sexual needs are concerned. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/39 "2009-02-16T23:45:21Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > Nah, it’s just pragmatism. You seem to think that not wanting a woman as a Significant Other because you’ve already got a better sex partner that you just happened to have bought, means a guy (insert other genders as appropriate) does not want human relationships at all. You misunderstand me. _From a purely sexual perspective_, I think that it’s profoundly emotionally stunted to prefer a toy to a person. Good sex is about give and take. What you’re descibing is fantastically high-tech masturbation. Nothing wrong with it, on it’s own merits. But it’s not meant to replace other people, or to be confused with actual sex. ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060/40 "2009-02-16T23:58:01Z")
Okay, so you can make this amazing super-duper robot that can meet all your physical needs. Great. I just don’t think it will ever be able to meet most people’s emotional needs, because no matter how advanced the technology gets, you’re not going to be able to change the human side of the equation. There’s a bond, an intimacy, between lovers that you can’t replicate with friends or family. It’s romance, dude. No replacement for it. I just don’t think I could ever feel intimate with an android or whatever, even if it did look exactly like John Krasinski and would rub my back whenever I asked. And you can have romance w/out sex, too, btw. I think that’s the element you’re missing from this idea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-the-ultimate-sex-toy-would-you-want-a-significant-other/486060.md?page=3)