# If you had to be executed, how would you like to be put to death? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782 "2018-07-29T22:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/1 "2018-07-29T22:26:37Z")
Suppose you were convicted, rightly or wrongly, of a capital crime, and sentenced to die. You’ve exhausted every appeal and the time of your demise is nigh. However, wherever you live has a new rule that says that while there is capital punishment, the prisoner chooses their method of execution. There is no trick that gets you out of dying, you;re done for. How do you wanna go? ---
**Author:** ![MindsEye\_Watering](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindseye_watering/32/3619_2.png) [@MindsEye\_Watering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MindsEye_Watering)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/2 "2018-07-29T22:33:13Z")
Something else: **nitrogen asphyxiation.** ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/3 "2018-07-29T22:34:37Z")
Nuke me from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/4 "2018-07-29T22:56:51Z")
Firing squad, it’s just so dramatic. Perfect for a drama queen, like me! I hope it’s filmed and shown on the news. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/5 "2018-07-29T23:01:30Z")
Either rifle/shotgun right behind the head or injection. For injection, what veterinarians typically use for euthanasia or high amounts of opiates. I don’t suppose I’d be allowed to go out with a “party mix” lethal injection. ---
**Author:** ![UCBearcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/77aa72/32.png) [@UCBearcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UCBearcats)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/6 "2018-07-29T23:02:59Z")
Smothered by a hot woman riding my face ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/7 "2018-07-29T23:04:10Z")
> [@MindsEye\_Watering](#): > > Something else: **nitrogen asphyxiation.** This was/is my choice too. I suppose this falls under the “gas chamber” option in the poll. Do I get to choose which gas is used in the chamber? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/8 "2018-07-29T23:05:26Z")
The firing squad just seems like a more dignified way to die, compared to the alternatives. You get to die standing up, and you’re killed by men, not by a machine. Plus it’s fast and fairly painless, relatively speaking. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/9 "2018-07-29T23:05:37Z")
I chose firing squad as it’s closest, but it’d be better for it to instead be one up close gunman who can ensure a pretty instantaneous death. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/10 "2018-07-29T23:05:45Z")
How would I LIKE to be put to death? I wouldn’t LIKE it at all. What would I choose? A fatal overdose of ecstasy (MDMA), I guess. Either that or coronary artery disease. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/11 "2018-07-29T23:06:53Z")
Old age? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/12 "2018-07-29T23:09:39Z")
Explosion ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/13 "2018-07-29T23:10:06Z")
Other: Heat death of the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/14 "2018-07-29T23:11:12Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > The firing squad just seems like a more dignified way to die, compared to the alternatives. You get to die standing up, and you’re killed by men, not by a machine. Plus it’s fast and fairly painless, relatively speaking. I sure wouldn’t trust the firing squad to put the bullets in the right place for a fast and fairly painless death; in fact it seems that every firing squad shooting always puts bullets in the torso or abdomen rather than the head. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/15 "2018-07-29T23:14:56Z")
[Snu snu.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCdrUW--Jic) ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/16 "2018-07-29T23:22:42Z")
Boiler explosion. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/17 "2018-07-29T23:28:54Z")
Guillotine seems quick and pretty foolproof. Most mornings I lie in bed a while before I have to get up, and I imagine myself being beheaded. Sometimes I’m on my back, watching the blade plummet to my neck Why yes, I’m a skosh depressed, why do you ask? Also I’m of French ancestry. Maybe that contributes to my fascination with the guillotine. Firing squad has a certain romance to it, though. As Ambrose Bierce wrote, “if you hear of my being stood up against a Mexican stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life.” ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/18 "2018-07-29T23:29:57Z")
I’ll take a Nelson Rockefeller death. 70 years old, naked, flat on my back, with only one sock on. In the presence of my 25 year old aide, Megan. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/19 "2018-07-29T23:35:22Z")
Fighting to keep any of the stuff on the list from being done to me, so I guess I’ve chosen being beat to death by prison guards. ---
**Author:** ![Kimera757](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kimera757/32/3765_2.png) [@Kimera757](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimera757)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2018, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/20 "2018-07-29T23:35:45Z")
“In bed, with a hooker. When I’m 80.” Paraphrasing Tyrion. Or in a British movie (I think this was Meaning of Life) we were told that “this man is about to die” while being chased off a cliff by a pack of shirtless nubiles of his preferred sex (female, in both of our cases). But if someone asked me about a reasonable method, I would pick the guillotine. Supposedly you would experience a few moments of unspeakable distress, but it would still be quick. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782.md?page=2)