# If you had to be executed, how would you like to be put to death? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782 "2018-07-29T22:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/41 "2018-07-30T03:48:34Z")
Carbon monoxide is unpleasant, smell wise if nothing else. Nitrogen doesn’t scare your body into understanding it’s dying, and nitrous oxide is the same but much more fun. People have died overusing nitrous and nobody ever notices because they’re just smiling but very, very quiet all of a sudden. That’s a decent way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/42 "2018-07-30T03:59:10Z")
Chuck me out of a plane. At least I get the joy of freefall before I plop. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/43 "2018-07-30T04:04:11Z")
> [@MindsEye\_Watering](#): > > Something else: **nitrogen asphyxiation.** That’s what I was thinking too. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/44 "2018-07-30T04:04:58Z")
> [@Chisquirrel](#): > > Chuck me out of a plane. At least I get the joy of freefall before I plop. If I was in freefall, I’d plop long before hitting the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/45 "2018-07-30T04:07:08Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Carbon monoxide is unpleasant, smell wise if nothing else. Nitrogen doesn’t scare your body into understanding it’s dying, and nitrous oxide is the same but much more fun. People have died overusing nitrous and nobody ever notices because they’re just smiling but very, very quiet all of a sudden. That’s a decent way to go. Carbon monoxide is odorless and colorless. That’s why CO detectors are so important. It’s not unheard of for people to die of CO poisoning in their sleep because something malfunctioned after they went to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/46 "2018-07-30T04:28:37Z")
The botched execution rate for firing squad is extremely low. And something just feels appropriate about it. It’s a man-to-man execution. They need to know it was justified to go through with it. Lethal injection sounds nice in theory (aside from needles), but doctors botch it because their job is to _save lives_ and they have little experience with the correct dosages for something that kills instead. Or worse, you don’t get a doctor at all, and you get some guy who hopes to get it right with something he’s inexperienced with. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/47 "2018-07-30T05:24:10Z")
I believe Monty Python had something to say on the subject. (Definite two-click rule.)[spoiler][Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Death - YouTube](https://youtu.be/MLctf4o6feQ%5B/spoiler%5D) ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/48 "2018-07-30T07:29:52Z")
If nitrogen asphyxiation is as some of you have described (you don’t know you’re dying, you just die and that’s it) then if I got to choose, that would be my choice. ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/49 "2018-07-30T07:47:35Z")
I voted something else. My something else is. C4 helmet.:eek: BOOM, vaporize the entire brain in an instant. No brain, no consciousness, no pain.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/50 "2018-07-30T08:12:25Z")
I think too many people here are focusing on the utter avoidance of pain. Call me sentimental, but you only die once. I’d be willing to endure the possibility of a moderate amount - say, up to 15 seconds - of severe pain, if it means going out in style. So burning at the stake or crucifixion, no. They may be metal as fuck, but they exceed the 15-second limit. But firing squad? Definitely. I’d also be willing to accept a public hanging or the headsman’s ax, so long as they’re administered by professionals; I’d also drink nightshade. You can’t beat the classics. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/51 "2018-07-30T08:26:41Z")
> [@Kimera757](#): > > “In bed, with a hooker. When I’m 80.” Paraphrasing Tyrion. Or in a British movie (I think this was Meaning of Life) we were told that “this man is about to die” while being chased off a cliff by a pack of shirtless nubiles of his preferred sex (female, in both of our cases). “In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden’s mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty.” And yes, Meaning of Life. > [@Velocity](#): > > I sure wouldn’t trust the firing squad to put the bullets in the right place for a fast and fairly painless death; in fact it seems that every firing squad shooting always puts bullets in the torso or abdomen rather than the head. Torso is bigger target, and makes open casket easier. Both are pretty quick, the typical firing squad involves 4 shots and 1 person with a blank. > [@Alessan](#): > > The firing squad just seems like a more dignified way to die, compared to the alternatives. You get to die standing up, and you’re killed by men, not by a machine. Plus it’s fast and fairly painless, relatively speaking. Unless you’re James Connolly. He was already injured, so they tied him to a chair. My vote is firing squad. Besides the high rate of failure with lethal injection, if you are going to execute people, better make it visceral. The clinical setting seems so ghoulish. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/52 "2018-07-30T08:44:18Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > . The clinical setting seems so ghoulish. Exactly! Using science to execute people is an insult to science. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/53 "2018-07-30T09:17:15Z")
Weird that only Kaylasdad99 has thought of drug overdose. Seems like a no brainer to me: you can literally _enjoy_ your death. ---
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/54 "2018-07-30T09:32:35Z")
I had the idea something similar to a guillotine. In my thought though, instead of a blade coming down to sever the neck it would use something like a pile driver to force the cranium through an oversized french fry cutter. That should be quick and messy enough. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/55 "2018-07-30T09:45:19Z")
Sniper, with no idea of when it’s going to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/56 "2018-07-30T11:20:20Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > Sniper, with no idea of when it’s going to happen. Wouldn’t that be, like, a horrible torture? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/57 "2018-07-30T11:30:14Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > Weird that only Kaylasdad99 has thought of drug overdose. Seems like a no brainer to me: you can literally _enjoy_ your death. I’d pick it but I don’t like needles. (Can’t say I _hate_ them, they just seem a bit unnatural.) And I don’t know if the prisoner would be trusted to swallow drugs. So that leaves the gas chamber which is another choice. The only two drugs that I know can be mistified are alcohol and Fentanyl although there are probably others. Hmmm, maybe a little of both? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/58 "2018-07-30T11:35:12Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > Wouldn’t that be, like, a horrible torture? It’s not really any different from living your regular life- we have no idea when or how we’ll be taken out. I can be crossing the street in front of my office this morning and get hit by a Metro bus, or I can die asleep in my bed in 60 years. I already know I’ve been convicted and will die, and that it’ll be over before I know it without pain (assuming they’re a good sniper), so it’s just a matter of when. I’d just go about things as usual until lights out (though maybe I’ll be less concerned about eating healthy). And who knows, maybe the bus will get me before the sniper does. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/59 "2018-07-30T11:38:32Z")
Either something immediate and instantaneous; or painlessly in my sleep; or orgasmed to death. But from the available options, I picked the volcano. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/60 "2018-07-30T12:53:06Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Can I choose the **hermeias** method? Extremely slow and ineffective poisoning over a period of 50 years. No. The OP specified no tricks. The expectation of the state is you will be put to death in accordance with law. You committed a capital crime and the debt must be paid. Come up with a real option or it’s the hornets for you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782.md?page=4)