# If you had to be executed, how would you like to be put to death? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782 "2018-07-29T22:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/61 "2018-07-30T12:55:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > So burning at the stake or crucifixion, no. They may be metal as fuck, but they exceed the 15-second limit. But firing squad? Definitely. I’d also be willing to accept a public hanging or the headsman’s ax, so long as they’re administered by professionals; I’d also drink nightshade. You can’t beat the classics. I’m good with a spectacular death but hanging just horrifies me. I am definitely going with the firing squad. I want a cigarette, too, even though I’ve never smoked. ---
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/62 "2018-07-30T12:56:50Z")
If I get to choose the manner of my death, I want it to be so awesome and noteworthy that it’ll make it into history books. I also want cause as much harm as possible to my killers while I go out, I assume they won’t let me fight them to the death so I’m going with wasting their time and money. So, first I want that fictional drug that Jason Statham gets poisoned with in Crank, if it doesn’t exist, I’m happy to wait for them to invent it. Also enough painkillers that I can keep moving through horrible injuries but not enough to incapacitate me, so I expect some kind of high priced anaesthesiologist will be required. (Lethal Injection) There’ll be a chase squad trained, maybe 6 or 7 people armed with guns and knives (some will have blanks in guns) under instructions to attack me if I slow down below stumbling pace. (Firing Squad & Caesar Death). First I’ll be attached to a cross with ropes (no nails through my bits, ta) then said cross will be hung from the bottom of an aeroplane and, at the appropriate height, set on fire. The materials will be chosen so that the ropes holding up the plane will burn through before I’m incapacitated by the burning and I’ll drop into the sea, aiming to land in an area pre-seeded with electric eels. (Hanging (kinda), Electrocution, Burned at Stake, Crucifixion, Thrown out Aeroplane) The eel area will be close to a volcanic island, my goal is to make it to a massive crucible filled with molten precious metals but I have to outpace the chase squad and avoid the angry natives with stones. If I get there in time, I don my tungsten armour and climb into a vat full of critically endangered species, maybe mount a black rhino and make a cool pose before the metals are poured onto me. If I die before getting to the vat, my killer gets to pose me in an embarrassing way. Either way, I end up encased in precious metals next to a volcano, hopefully soon to be buried and then found many years later and assumed to be some kind of emperor due to my awesome armour, menagerie of extinct animals and abundance of platinum. (Stoning, Boiled Alive, Thrown in Volcano (kinda), Squished (kinda), Drowning (Kinda) That’s right, I just made all you folks lying dead in a cloud of nitrogen look like chumps, deal with it! ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/63 "2018-07-30T14:29:05Z")
Guillotine - fast yet dramatic and less prone to misses or accidents. Something in lethal injection always struck me as too much tech and variable to be a sure and clean exit. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/64 "2018-07-30T14:53:09Z")
Death by Gamma bomb in the middle of the desert. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/65 "2018-07-30T15:06:16Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Lethal injection sounds nice in theory (aside from needles), but doctors botch it because their job is to _save lives_ and they have little experience with the correct dosages for something that kills instead. Or worse, you don’t get a doctor at all, and you get some guy who hopes to get it right with something he’s inexperienced with. Can I get a veterinarian to do it? They seem to have figured out how to get the lethal injection right. But after hearing what you all had to say, my second choice is going to be nitrous oxide. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/66 "2018-07-30T15:17:00Z")
> [@MindsEye\_Watering](#): > > Something else: **nitrogen asphyxiation.** Exactly. Easiest would be taken to high altitude and simply deprived of air. I’ve been in the FAA’s hypoxia simulator at 29,000’ and if you stay there long enough, you won’t wake up again. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/67 "2018-07-30T15:52:12Z")
I voted lethal intention, but I’d rather do a drug overdose. My husband said that he would pick firing squad. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/68 "2018-07-30T15:56:31Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > I voted lethal intention… That is _everyone’s_ pick, by default. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/69 "2018-07-30T16:09:05Z")
I choose to be incinerated by the sun when it becomes a Red Giant and expands past the orbit of the earth. ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/70 "2018-07-30T16:12:09Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > The firing squad just seems like a more dignified way to die, compared to the alternatives. You get to die standing up, and you’re killed by men, not by a machine. Plus it’s fast and fairly painless, relatively speaking. My thoughts exactly. As Gary Gilmore said, “Let’s do it.” Nothing clinical about it, no façade of humanity or respectibility. If the state is going to kill me, do it honestly. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/71 "2018-07-30T16:14:41Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > I choose to be incinerated by the sun when it becomes a Red Giant and expands past the orbit of the earth. At least you’ll be sooner than they guy that’s going to wait (forever) for it to go nova. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/72 "2018-07-30T16:14:57Z")
I would have to pick a way-over-lethal dose of sleeping pills washed down with really good, really smooth whiskey. If you gotta go, you may as well enjoy the trip. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/73 "2018-07-30T16:29:46Z")
> [@TimeWinder](#): > > At least you’ll be sooner than they guy that’s going to wait (forever) for it to go nova. He knew, but he was just cheating in an effort to live forever. I decree that anyone caught trying to cheat their way out of a real possible means of execution be staked to a fire ant hill. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/74 "2018-07-30T17:02:34Z")
I didn’t read each and every post; anyone pick death by snu snu yet? 😉 (I was just watching that episode earlier today and it brought it to mind) ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/75 "2018-07-30T17:12:09Z")
Along the lines of “the unexpected hanging,” I’d choose to be unaware of exactly when I’m going to be executed. Tell me that I’ll die of a lethal injection on Wednesday at midnight, then pump my cell full of nitrous oxide on the Saturday before. I’m pretty sure my last thoughts would be, “Hey! I must be OK with my upcoming death, because I think it’s funny as hell right now.” ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/76 "2018-07-30T17:46:18Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Can I get a veterinarian to do it? They seem to have figured out how to get the lethal injection right. But after hearing what you all had to say, my second choice is going to be nitrous oxide. Boy, no kidding! A friend of mine is a vet who does mobile euthanasia and that girl has it dialled. She took care of my good old dog last summer and told me what her brew is and dayum. First shot paralyzes and makes the dog just high as a kite but still more or less conscious, then the second one stops the heart in about ten seconds. After all the hoofaraw they’ve had over botched lethal injections and not being able to get the correct drugs and what not I say let’s pay the vets big money to come take care of our unwanted animals–after having to deal with the bullshit most vets take from the human component of their trade (and vets have one of the highest suicide rates of all professions) I bet there are more than a few who’d be perfectly content getting some of their own back for the poor critters who didn’t get treatment because their humans are pieces of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/77 "2018-07-30T18:35:54Z")
I picked firing squad, but really any of the ‘official’ forms of modern day execution so long as they’re done by COMPETENT professionals. They tend to be relatively quick and painless. I would hate being thrown off a building/airplane or into a volcano. Nitrogen suffocation or drug overdose sound very tempting, though. I’d prefer to be taken out by a meteor, though. (I know, hard to arrange.) I’m thinking while walking to work, sudden noise and flash of light, (would I even hear or see anything?) and suddenly there’s a 30 foot crater in the trail and maybe a singed hat on the edge. It would have to be caught on a security camera or something or no-one would know what happened to me, I’d just disappear. But the video would go viral I bet. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/78 "2018-07-30T18:45:48Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Sorry, but you’re trying to cheat. The OP specified no tricks. Your OP, sir: > [@RickJay](#): > > Suppose you were convicted, rightly or wrongly, of a capital crime, and sentenced to die. You’ve exhausted every appeal and the time of your demise is nigh. However, wherever you live has a new rule that says that while there is capital punishment, the prisoner chooses their method of execution. > > There is no trick that gets you out of dying, you;re done for. How do you wanna go? The only ‘no tricks’ thing that I see here is that “[t]here is no trick that gets you out of dying,” which is already true for **all** of us. We’re all gonna take that dirt nap eventually. So ‘old age,’ ‘sun goes supernova,’ and ‘heat death of Universe’ all appear to conform to the _wording_ of the OP, regardless of intent. But going with the _spirit_ of the OP, rather than the _letter_, I went with getting thrown out of an airplane into the sea. (Since reasonable customizations are allowed, I’m gonna specify from 30,000 feet.) One last swan dive on the way out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/79 "2018-07-30T18:55:38Z")
Didja hear about the guy who wanted to be burnt rather than beheaded because a hot stake is better than a cold chop? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2018, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/80 "2018-07-30T18:57:41Z")
I think that, like others here, I would want it to be a total surpr [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782.md?page=5)