# If you had to be executed, how would you like to be put to death? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2018, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782 "2018-07-29T22:26:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/121 "2018-08-01T04:23:30Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I once asked a coroner the least painful way to die. He said to get very drunk and then freeze to death. So give me a case of good wine and lock me in the freezer. In case you are interested, the most painful way to die is being burned alive. > > A cop once told me the worst thing he’d ever seen were the remains of a guy hit by a train. They were spread out over three city blocks. Being burned alive is the most painful? I thought that the flames killed the nerve endings, and you probably passed out from smoke inhalation relatively quickly anyway. Does anyone know for sure? For me the idea of freezing to death sounds somewhat appealing, but I assume that would be much more painful. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/122 "2018-08-01T05:14:28Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being burned alive is the most painful? I thought that the flames killed the nerve endings, and you probably passed out from smoke inhalation relatively quickly anyway. > > Does anyone know for sure? > > For me the idea of freezing to death sounds somewhat appealing, but I assume that would be much more painful. Well I think if you’re burned at the stake like Joan of Arc, the smoke rises to your Roman nose before the flames really reach you. But if you’re doused with gasoline, it’s more… visceral. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/123 "2018-08-01T05:36:42Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being burned alive is the most painful? I thought that the flames killed the nerve endings, and you probably passed out from smoke inhalation relatively quickly anyway. > > Does anyone know for sure? > > For me the idea of freezing to death sounds somewhat appealing, but I assume that would be much more painful. Even if the flames kill the nerve endings, the ‘intermediate process’ of getting the nerve endings killed has to…really hurt. And then there’s still the underlying flesh that has only suffered 2nd-degree burns and not 3rd degree. They’ll be screaming in agony, and that’s flesh that covers your whole body. And the smoke inhalation still takes several minutes to kill or induce unconsciousness, I think. As for freezing to death, I think it induces a slow sleepy, confused stupor and coma that’s actually not too unpleasant a sensation, unless you mean really sudden freezing (like being put in an absolute-zero freezer) and not merely being in Alberta outdoors in the winter too long. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/124 "2018-08-01T09:04:57Z")
I would select death through overexposure in Woody Allen’s Orgasmatron machine. ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/125 "2018-08-01T13:31:01Z")
On my 117th birthday, death by overexertion and dehydration, surrounded by a harem well-satisfied blondes, brunettes and a few redheads. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/126 "2018-08-01T13:33:48Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being burned alive is the most painful? I thought that the flames killed the nerve endings, and you probably passed out from smoke inhalation relatively quickly anyway. > > Does anyone know for sure? > > For me the idea of freezing to death sounds somewhat appealing, but I assume that would be much more painful. The coroner told me most people in fires die from smoke inhalation, and that’s a blessing. Ever have a serious burn? Remember how much it hurts? Freezing is very painless when you are extremely drunk. ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/127 "2018-08-01T13:38:03Z")
WHAT do you mean, I have to pick from your list? Sheesh! Ok, let it be guillotine. Almost zero pain, a severe cerebro-spinal shock causing instant systemic shock and _ **very** _ rapid death, and best of all, almost NO way it can be flubbed to hurt me, without killing me. For those of you who selected Lethal Injection… Read up about the guy that had 6 hours of convulsions, foaming at the mouth, and eventually died of internal bleeding from abdominal arteries ruptured by the convulsions. (1936, i think) For more recent horror stories, browse through [Top 10 Horrifically Botched Lethal Injections - Listverse](http://listverse.com/2017/06/09/top-10-botched-lethal-injections/) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/128 "2018-08-01T14:43:29Z")
> [@MindsEye\_Watering](#): > > Something else: **nitrogen asphyxiation.** Works for me. Although I’ve heard freezing to death is all right - after the initial discomfort of extreme cold, you just drift off. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/129 "2018-08-01T15:26:26Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > I chose firing squad for **Macca26** ’s reasoning. I’ve heard of botched lethal injections, botched hangings, and botched beheadings, but not botched firing squads. Eh…I have to challenge this. AIUI, if a firing squad doesn’t successfully kill the condemned man on the first volley, then as you point out, they just simply reload and shoot another volley. And again if still needed, until the job’s done. So by definition they get it done. But that’s no different than saying, “Well, if the lethal injection attempt was botched the first time, then the physician simply re-administers the drugs and then the condemned dies this time.” So the firing squad DID or CAN botch it. So firing squads most definitely can get it botched, if it’s defined as not killing the man the first time. In fact, given the haphazard nature of bullets flying some distance to hit a target, and how the body may or may not die based off of just where the bullets entered, I’d much rather go with the precision of an IV needle in my arm veins. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/130 "2018-08-01T19:04:32Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Death by Gamma bomb in the middle of the desert. How about death by Gamma bomb in the middle of NYC? Since capital punishment is wrong always and everywhere, and thus totally inexcusable, the state should have no problem doubling down on the atrocity of what it is doing. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/131 "2018-08-01T19:13:51Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Your OP, sir: > The only ‘no tricks’ thing that I see here is that “[t]here is no trick that gets you out of dying,” which is already true for **all** of us. We’re all gonna take that dirt nap eventually. > > So ‘old age,’ ‘sun goes supernova,’ and ‘heat death of Universe’ all appear to conform to the _wording_ of the OP, regardless of intent. > > But going with the _spirit_ of the OP, rather than the _letter_, I went with getting thrown out of an airplane into the sea. (Since reasonable customizations are allowed, I’m gonna specify from 30,000 feet.) One last swan dive on the way out. 🙂 …and with a paper-wrapped sliver of ice-9 strapped to your wrist? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/132 "2018-08-01T19:20:45Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > …and with a paper-wrapped sliver of ice-9 strapped to your wrist? Depends. Will Bokonon write a calypso in my memory before he touches the ice-nine? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/133 "2018-08-01T19:24:34Z")
… I guess you could _negotiate_ for that. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/134 "2018-08-01T19:53:27Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > How about death by Gamma bomb in the middle of NYC? > > Since capital punishment is wrong always and everywhere, and thus totally inexcusable, the state should have no problem doubling down on the atrocity of what it is doing. If I’m allowed to kill others too, I can see an argument for just killing _everyone_ - that way nobody has to miss me or mourn! (Or miss or mourn anyone else either.) Of course, killing everyone in the same instant (and killing them fast enough that they don’t suffer) is a little tricky to pull off. I’m thinking something like [this](https://what-if.xkcd.com/20/) would be great if we could somehow manage it, though. Plus I think it would be a pretty metal way to go. ---
**Author:** ![sps49sd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@sps49sd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sps49sd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/135 "2018-08-01T20:13:48Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I think that, like others here, I would want it to be a total surpr Did Candlejack finally track you d ---
**Author:** ![sps49sd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@sps49sd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sps49sd)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/136 "2018-08-01T20:16:51Z")
Put me down for snu-snu, also. 🙂 ☹ 🙂 ☹ 🙂 ☹ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/137 "2018-08-01T20:20:32Z")
Presuming they won’t let me get away with the technicalities like “old age,” I’d go with death by firing squad as long as it was done traditionally. Eat a last meal the night before, choose a blindfold and cigarette, get asked for any last words, the whole shebang. No particular reason, but if I’ve got to go that’s on the ‘not too unpleasant’ side and is at least ending on a classy note. ---
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2018, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/138 "2018-08-01T20:32:05Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > Being burned alive is the most painful? I thought that the flames killed the nerve endings, and you probably passed out from smoke inhalation relatively quickly anyway. > > Does anyone know for sure? > > For me the idea of freezing to death sounds somewhat appealing, but I assume that would be much more painful. Nope, the evidence seems to be that burning to death is very painful and very slow. Alas, the nerve endings are not killed, but overstimulated. Smoke inhalation? Not that nice in itself, and it can take a while. Carbon monoxide poisoning or nitrogen asphyxiation are supposed to be painless and imperceptible. One way to freeze to death is to get into a hot bath with a bottle of your favorite tipple - anything from naval rum to Jim Beam - and enjoy the booze with no fear of a hangover. The bath water cools down, and then so do you. But you won’t notice it. ---
**Author:** ![Discordian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@Discordian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Discordian)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2018, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/139 "2018-08-02T00:42:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Something else (please explain) I would want to be allowed to perform an auto-vivisection, with the option of verbally indicating that I should immediately be shot in the head at close range (less than 12") with a shotgun, at least 12 gauge. I’m a bit of a masochist, and I’ve always been curious about the underlying structures of my own body. Never enough to cause self-harm, but enough that I might do it in some weird fantasy scenario like this. ---
**Author:** ![dhricenak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/47e85d/32.png) [@dhricenak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhricenak)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2018, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-be-executed-how-would-you-like-to-be-put-to-death/818782/140 "2018-08-02T12:15:53Z")
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