# If you had to choose the method of your death, what would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2009, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970 "2009-12-04T08:49:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/61 "2009-12-07T16:37:21Z")
I just want it to be peaceful and painless. If I can’t have that, then there had better be at least three nubile redheaded females involved! ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/62 "2009-12-07T16:59:04Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Yeah, but if you’re dying, either one could be any color. The only color I could think of would be red. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/63 "2009-12-07T19:54:07Z")
> [@Superhal](#): > > Leaving Las Vegas for me, all the way. 🙂 Enjoy turning day-glo yellow, slowly succumbing to ammonia induced insanity, and being too sick to climb out of bed when diarrhea that looks like grape jelly strikes (in case you were wondering, it’s clotted GI blood). If you’re lucky, you’ll get esophageal varacies first, and when the pressure gets too high, they’ll burst, and you can spend your last moments drowning in your own blood. Liver disease is one of the nastiest ways on earth to go. If you’ve ever read Oliver Sacks’s short story, “A Passage to India” in his book, _The Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat_, that’s how I want to go. A girl in her 20s developed a brain tumor, which gave her seizures. The seizures presented themselves as beautiful hallucinations of India. As they became more frequent, the visions became more vivid, until she finally died with a smile on her face. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/64 "2009-12-07T21:05:25Z")
> [@Captain\_Mumble](#): > > I want to go out the say way I came in. > > Naked,screaming and covered in someone else’s blood. That is so FULL of win. Personally, I’d like to go out in a hail of gunfire on live tv. Covered in the blood of some federal bureaucrat/politician that has irked me. I may be a nobody in life but I’d like my death to be glorious. ---
**Author:** ![Morgis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Morgis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgis)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/65 "2009-12-09T15:14:22Z")
I want to burn up when the sun goes supernova. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/66 "2009-12-09T16:06:37Z")
Heat Death of the Universe for me, please. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/67 "2009-12-09T16:32:51Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m partial to the idea of being transfixed to the wall by a whaling harpoon, after a night of rum binging. > > Picturesque, what? But you’d have to be transfixed by a _single_ stroke, or it’s not worth it. So you’d better have a proper harpooner do it, and not some hapless bank clerk with the same initials. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Wombats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Wombats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Wombats)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/68 "2009-12-10T04:30:15Z")
For me? Facing a firing squad with a cigarette in my mouth with some witty last words ready to go. ---
**Author:** ![Snnipe\_70E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@Snnipe\_70E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snnipe_70E)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/69 "2009-12-10T05:09:09Z")
Old Age ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2009, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/70 "2009-12-10T06:13:02Z")
In my sleep, after finishing the last sf book in my collection. That would be age 120 or so. But dying like Nelson Rockefeller wouldn’t be bad either. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/71 "2009-12-11T18:10:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > But you’d have to be transfixed by a _single_ stroke, or it’s not worth it. > > So you’d better have a proper harpooner do it, and not some hapless bank clerk with the same initials. Hurrah!! For me!! I recognize that reference 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/72 "2009-12-11T18:15:16Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > [QUOTE=Superhal] > > Leaving Las Vegas for me, all the way. Enjoy turning day-glo yellow, slowly succumbing to ammonia induced insanity, and being too sick to climb out of bed when diarrhea that looks like grape jelly strikes (in case you were wondering, it’s clotted GI blood). If you’re lucky, you’ll get esophageal varacies first, and when the pressure gets too high, they’ll burst, and you can spend your last moments drowning in your own blood. [/QUOTE] Yes. But at least he would be leaving Las Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/73 "2009-12-11T18:19:09Z")
**JoeFuckingFriday** stole my answer. It’s what I want my gravemarker to say; “Death by misadventure”, and I’m not fussy about the nature of the misadventure. Fall off an Ande, slide down a crevass, swept out to sea off some tropical beach, eaten by big fish while snorkelling, sinking of dodgey third world ferry, it’s all good to me! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/74 "2009-12-11T18:28:32Z")
This makes me so sad reading it - because I don’t want to stop having sex with my bf! Ok, corny, but for real. I would like to die in my sleep in his arms where we both die and then wake up together in the next place. He’s got the nicest arms ever and the best chest for resting your head on. I know, I know. You all are rolling your eyes at my sentimentalism - but it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/75 "2009-12-11T19:56:19Z")
I’d like to be served a large glass of Duckhorn Vinyards Merlot with an oxycontin chaser, by a topless red-headed registered nurse, while relaxing on Lazy-Boy recliner in the middle of the operating room an all female staffed surgicenter/med-spa. Following that, I’d like to be masked and delivered a 40% concentration of nitrous oxide, slowly increasing to 80%, by a bottomless blond dental hygienist while she massages my gums. Then, I’d like the volatile anesthetic, sevoflurane, to be slowly introduced concomitantly and in balance with the nitrous oxide, by a totally nude buxom brunette anesthesiologist. Then, I’d like the raven-haired dominatrix-lingerie clad urologist who was, up till now massaging my prostate vigorously, to remove her finger, and then push a diaphragm-collapsing dose of the muscle relaxant pancuronium bromide and barbiturate sodium thiopental into my IV line. In conclusion, I’d like the entire staff to shoot body shots of Grey Goose from my navel until rigor mortise sets in and my corpse is sent to the morgue to be prepped by a naughty mortician wearing a plaid Catholic School dress. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/76 "2009-12-11T20:24:08Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > Heat Death of the Universe for me, please. Same here. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/77 "2009-12-12T15:50:32Z")
I’ve been thinking about it and I want to change my answer to: In my husband’s arms. Of course, that certainly doesn’t preclude ‘death by misadventure’, it just means I won’t be alone! When I asked my husband this question he instantly answered; “Saving someone’s life!” Wow, I’ll die in your arms any day! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2009, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/78 "2009-12-12T17:19:29Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, I’d like to know somehow ahead of time when I’m going to die. And then before I die naturally, kill myself; sort of a way to spite fate or nature as it were. Assert my own choice. As to how; I’d prefer it to be by jumping off a cliff…wired with explosives…shooting myself in the head…into a huge pool of flaming gasoline. Right now is ahead of time. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Taenia\_spp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Taenia\_spp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taenia_spp)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/79 "2009-12-13T06:50:58Z")
Ruthlessly torn limb from limb by hordes of the living dead, but not before I’ve offed several hundred of the zombies first. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970/80 "2009-12-13T07:25:39Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Steven King once suggested that most of us would prefer to die at age 90, after a wonderful meal, a bottle of truly excellent _vino_, and a really super lay. _(He went on to observe that no one really wanted to experience being slowly crushed under a truck, with cold and dirty oil dripping from the crankcase on your face - but then that’s King for you)._ J.G. Ballard might. But I think he’d probably rather fly a Spitfire into Paul Haggis’s house in a suicide attack. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-choose-the-method-of-your-death-what-would-it-be/519970.md?page=5)