# If you had to rate your ass on a scale of one to ten... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 21, 2008, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872 "2008-10-21T11:19:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/21 "2008-10-21T15:28:53Z")
I guess I’d have to rate it as 00 . But I’m working on it. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/22 "2008-10-21T15:31:47Z")
Probably a 7-8–more in certain pants. Himself’s butt, though? It’s an 11. Dammit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/23 "2008-10-21T15:35:44Z")
Probably used to be an eight or a nine. I would get compliments (hit on) by housewives and secretaries a lot when I was 16 - 20 years old. And gay men. Now I’ve lost a point or three. Probably still above a five. Shouldn’t we have people post semi-anonymous photographic evidence? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/24 "2008-10-21T15:57:40Z")
I’m told, and not just by **The Wife** that it’s magnificent. All of the major injuries I’ve ever had have been to knees or ankles, so consequently, I’ve spent a lot of time during my workout routine working the legs. Which has apparently created the Work of Art you would contemplate as I walk away. And THAT’S being modest. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pantheon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@pantheon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantheon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/25 "2008-10-21T16:17:31Z")
George Michael: Butt maintenance is very important. And, in fact, that is why I missed the telly-cast. I began preparing my butt a full forty-eight hours before the Grammys. I did a mineral pre-soak. I plucked it, waxed it, buffed it. And, as I was applying the sealant, I looked up and Billy Crystal was saying, “Good night!” Dennis Miller: Let’s get back to your work, George. What about your new album? George Michael: But - but look at it. Look at it. [rises, shows butt to Dennis] Don’t - don’t be afraid of it, Dennis. Don’t deny it. Look at it. [wiggles butt] It’s a nice butt. Look at it. It won’t hurt you, Dennis. It’s your friend. Dennis Miller: Yeah. I know, George, I know, I know. George Michael: [sits] You fear my butt because you don’t understand it. You resist it like all the others before you, yet its power only grows. … Dennis Miller: Have you spoken to Andy Ridgeley lately? George Michael: What about my butt?! [rises, shows butt to Dennis] Look at it! You can’t take your eyes off it, can you?! [Dennis stares deadpan at the wiggling butt, occasionally glancing at the audience] It’s hypnotic! Try to look away! You can’t look away! Try to look away! You can’t! Look at it! Look at it! [sits] Did you know - did you know, Dennis, that my butt has the power to heal? Put a wilted flower near my butt. It blooms! I don’t claim to understand it, I’m only its servant! Dennis Miller: George. George, man, let’s get off the butt thing– George Michael: Dennis, my butt will not be trifled with! [rises, shows butt to Dennis] Do its bidding, Dennis! Save yourself! Resist and die! Surrender and live eternally! My butt will prevail! It will outlive us all! For I have achieved perfect buttness! [cheers, applause and whistling as George Michael rises and rips off his microphone - he and his butt exit] Dennis Miller: [after a pause] Bummer. ---
**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/26 "2008-10-21T17:10:51Z")
I personally don’t like my ass, however every guy who ever whistles at me has to yell some comment about my ass. :rolleyes: I even have girls that I work with tell me my ass is great. I’ve been called J-Lo many, many times. I dunno what it is but people like it. I would give it a 4 or so but most other people would probably say an 8. So, let’s split the difference and make it a 6. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/27 "2008-10-21T17:13:17Z")
> [@pantheon](#): > > George Michael: Butt maintenance is very important. And, in fact, that is why I missed the telly-cast. I began preparing my butt a full forty-eight hours before the Grammys. I did a mineral pre-soak. I plucked it, waxed it, buffed it. \ That was hilarious! Where is that from? As for my own butt, I’d like it to be firmer…eh, I’ll go with 4. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/28 "2008-10-21T17:28:09Z")
Negative 7 million. Actually, though, it’s one of the less-fat parts of my fat body, and my wife likes it. No accounting for love. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/29 "2008-10-21T17:29:26Z")
> [@kittenlm](#): > > I personally don’t like my ass, however every guy who ever whistles at me has to yell some comment about my ass. :rolleyes: I even have girls that I work with tell me my ass is great. I’ve been called J-Lo many, many times. I dunno what it is but people like it. I would give it a 4 or so but most other people would probably say an 8. So, let’s split the difference and make it a 6. How YOU doin’? Joe ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/30 "2008-10-21T17:34:30Z")
Depends on who’s asking of course. But I’d say 9. I’ve noticed so many ladies turning around to look at my ass in a lifetime that it’s _de riguer_. And I think I’m in pretty good overall shape so… there ya go. Just out of curiosity, what brought on the question? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/31 "2008-10-21T17:59:38Z")
> [@](#): > > That was hilarious! Where is that from? Saturday Night Live, several years ago, if I’m not mistaken. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/32 "2008-10-21T18:03:07Z")
A solid One. ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/33 "2008-10-21T18:39:55Z")
A 3 at best. I have a weird body shape where I’m seemingly as wide as I am tall. Not really fat although I could stand to lose 20 pounds. I’m just thankful that some women like the fire hydrant shape. ---
**Author:** ![pantheon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6bbea6/32.png) [@pantheon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pantheon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/34 "2008-10-21T18:51:26Z")
> **[SNL Transcripts: Glenn Close: 02/25/89: Glenn Close's Monologue - SNL...](https://snltranscripts.jt.org/88/88nupdate.phtml)** > >  Saturday Night Live Transcripts  Season 14: Episode 14 Scroll down for Weekend Update Ah, when SNL was still kinda funny… ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/35 "2008-10-21T18:56:34Z")
I hate my ass. 1. My family tends toward the “wide birthing hips” end of the spectrum. And I’m overweight. So I think it’s got potential–it’s not baggy or anything, but it’s large and scary. I’m hoping that my new routine of jogging up and down hills near my house will tone it up. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/36 "2008-10-21T18:59:52Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Mine’s an 8 if you like small butts. > > Prolly a 3 if you like big butts. So, a 10 then? Me like. I am so definitely a 10. It’s my best thing. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/37 "2008-10-21T19:15:58Z")
I honestly have no idea. Nobody has ever really commented on it. I think I have a fair ass, so I’ll guess 6. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/38 "2008-10-21T19:16:37Z")
I have to go with 1… the wifey calls me “flat-ass”. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/39 "2008-10-21T19:49:47Z")
I’m gonna go with a 1 or 2 “See this is the why I can never buy pants, I have no ass…I am sans ass” ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2008, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872/40 "2008-10-21T19:58:37Z")
If you like them big and round… I do squats and deadlifts like they’re going out of style, helps me stay strong for my sport of choice, but the off shoot is my butt. Preference seems to depend on the guy. Guys who like them that way drool over it. If you prefer them small, you don’t even look my way. So I’m going to say 9 or 1 lol. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-rate-your-ass-on-a-scale-of-one-to-ten/468872.md?page=3)