# If you HAD to slap one person in the face, who would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420 "2012-08-04T13:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/41 "2012-08-05T00:57:42Z")
A really hot masochist chick. I’m all about the love, don’t you know! ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/42 "2012-08-05T01:06:00Z")
Limbaugh. That one just grazed you, it didn’t count. I wasn’t ready that time. No, still not a good one. Try sticking your neck out further. Nope, still not a good one. We may be here a while. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/43 "2012-08-05T01:22:54Z")
Never mind. Sorry I said it. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/44 "2012-08-05T01:29:40Z")
How hard can I slap? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/45 "2012-08-05T02:58:21Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Damn it! > > Oh wait… I think I’ll save the punch for [Andrew Wakefield](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Wakefield), that selfish fuck who faked data to blame autism on the MMR vaccine - simply to use it to promote his **own** vaccine. That asshole legitimized the anti-vaccination movement and is held up as a victim by the people who believe that shit. He’s contributed to epidemics purely to make himself some money. > > Phelps is a hate-filled asshole but most people recognize him for what he is, just due to the sheer depths of his wacked-out behavior. He’s caused pain, but has few believers. > > Well, OK, a freebie death punch would probably be better aimed in this world, but that was my first instinct. This is a good one. He would be my second choice. My first choice would be the woman who toyed with my late boyfriend for a number of years before I met him, took advantage of him, and generally made his life much more difficult than it had to be all because he had a heart of gold and the patience of Job. ---
**Author:** ![denquixote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@denquixote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/denquixote)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/46 "2012-08-05T04:09:31Z")
If noone else is going to slap Gretchen Carlson, I will. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/47 "2012-08-05T04:16:32Z")
The first person that came to mind was Rachel Maddow–right after she utters another one of her pseudo-intellectual witticisms, and then looks smug about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/48 "2012-08-05T05:39:25Z")
> [@Starving\_Artist](#): > > Nancy Grace. Hey, _I_ was going to slap her! I suppose she deserves more than one, but to be fair I’ll choose Michele Bachmann instead. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/49 "2012-08-05T06:35:55Z")
The Pope. Damn, that would feel good! ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/50 "2012-08-05T08:36:54Z")
Rupert Murdoch… hopefully whilst he is on the edge of a cliff ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/51 "2012-08-05T13:15:41Z")
Matt Lauer. He knows what he did. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/52 "2012-08-05T13:28:21Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > No repercussions? At all, guaranteed? I think that would be a prime opportunity to aim at Fred Phelps. I knew someone would beat me to it. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/53 "2012-08-05T14:05:36Z")
I asked my parents. My dad said he wouldn’t slap anyone. I told him he _had_ to, so he said ‘Mitt Romney’. I told him some of your answers, and he changed his mind to Fred Phelps. My mother said one of her ex-coworkers for being verbaly abusive to others in her office. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/54 "2012-08-05T15:35:47Z")
My former boss. She was a bitchy, patronizing control freak who was completely incompetent at her job. I haven’t worked there in three months and I still find myself getting in mental shouting matches with her. They usually end with me wringing her neck. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/55 "2012-08-05T17:32:45Z")
Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Barney Fwank. I’d line them up and give them a good Three-Stooges style triple-slap. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/56 "2012-08-05T17:47:57Z")
Can I wear a spiked gauntlet covered with poison? ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/57 "2012-08-05T17:51:50Z")
Yoko Ono. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/58 "2012-08-05T18:07:22Z")
The CEO of one of the companies I work for. His pay has risen drastically while most of his non high level management workers have seen our pay stagnate or cut. I hate him and so do most of my co-workers. [Joe Mercola](http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/2012/08/03/15-years-of-promoting-quackery/) also deserves a few smacks. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/59 "2012-08-05T20:10:44Z")
Anthony Weiner ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-had-to-slap-one-person-in-the-face-who-would-it-be/630420/60 "2012-08-06T14:04:05Z")
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