# If you have a sidewalk and old bushes, you're probably an idiot. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2019, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902 "2019-07-11T13:27:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/41 "2019-07-12T17:33:35Z")
> [@SingleMalt](#): > > I thought he called it a “Sidewalk Asshole”? Let’s try this out… “Bartender, give me a Sidewalk Asshole on the rocks, with a shot of vodka.” It works, I endorse it. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/42 "2019-07-12T19:31:18Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I suggest “Ace Ade”. It has a nice ring to it. Or you could call it an [Arnold Palmer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Palmer_(drink)) (hopefully I’m not being wooshed). Well known enough that there was even a [Sports Center](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rONXxy9kk0) commercial for it. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/43 "2019-07-12T19:49:01Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Or you could call it an [Arnold Palmer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arnold_Palmer_(drink)) (hopefully I’m not being wooshed). [There’s a reason for the “Ace Ade” suggestion.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=878471) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/44 "2019-07-12T20:17:55Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Yeah, I have no excuse for being a lawnslob. Some of the previous notices from the Lawn Police have pissed me off (like citing us for leaves in our yard, or claiming our flower stalks were “grass” and citing us for grass \> max height) but they had an entirely legitimate point about the sidewalk. You got a citation for leaves on your lawn? Sounds kinda draconian, that one, and most definitely wouldn’t have gone over too well with some of my clients, who use leaves as lawn mulch. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/45 "2019-07-12T20:24:43Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I suggest “Ace Ade”. It has a nice ring to it. > [@SingleMalt](#): > > I thought he called it a “Sidewalk Asshole”? Is there room for compromise? How about “Sidewalk AceHole”? ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/46 "2019-07-12T21:03:06Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > You got a citation for leaves on your lawn? Sounds kinda draconian, that one, and most definitely wouldn’t have gone over too well with some of my clients, who use leaves as lawn mulch. I doubt anyone is handing out citations for leaves on the lawn a few days after they fall, so how long were the leaves on his lawn? A carpet of soggy, decomposing leaves half way through November isn’t exactly what people mean when they say they they want to use their leaves as lawn mulch. They need to be mowed over to chop them up when they are dry so the mulch can work it’s way down to the soil. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/47 "2019-07-12T21:19:55Z")
There quite a few wise-asses posting in this thread. Just saying.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/48 "2019-07-12T21:24:00Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > There quite a few wise-asses posting in this thread. Just saying.🙂 Are you referring to the people who solved the perplexing mystery about what a sidewalk is on the side of? ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/49 "2019-07-12T21:28:43Z")
_There is a place where the sidewalk ends And before the street begins, And there the grass grows soft and white, And there the sun burns crimson bright, And there the moon-bird rests from his flight To cool in the peppermint wind._ RIP, Shel Silverstein. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/50 "2019-07-12T21:51:18Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > There quite a few wise-asses posting in this thread. Just saying.🙂 😉 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/51 "2019-07-12T21:56:58Z")
We have a sidewalk and old bushes. But the two are nowhere near each other. Every house I can see has bushes around the house, a front lawn, then sidewalk. So people near you plant presumably tall, droopy bushes right next to the sidewalk, then they have a front lawn, then more bushes near the house? Sounds cluttered to me. Don’t the “sidewalk hedges” block their view of the street? Half the socializing I do is to sit on the front porch, and nod at the neighbors walking by\*. So I’m looking over a window box of flowers, and bushes (“foundation planting”). Then it’s a clear view to the sidewalk and street. \*Excuse me, almost 5 here, gotta get my Cointreau and Coke ready for porch sittin’. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/52 "2019-07-12T22:38:17Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Are you referring to the people who solved the perplexing mystery about what a sidewalk is on the side of? Nope. Not that.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/53 "2019-07-12T23:42:21Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I trimmed my bush just the other day. Anybody want pictures? Before I answer, are we talking about a picture of your bush or your tool? ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2019, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/54 "2019-07-12T23:51:50Z")
You city folks and sidewalks. I been to a city, once. Seen a few sidewalks too in my day. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/55 "2019-07-13T00:05:34Z")
> [@SingleMalt](#): > > I thought he called it a “Sidewalk Asshole”? Here in Washington, he could call it a pothole. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/56 "2019-07-13T00:49:12Z")
> [@SmellMyWort](#): > > I doubt anyone is handing out citations for leaves on the lawn a few days after they fall, so how long were the leaves on his lawn? A carpet of soggy, decomposing leaves half way through November isn’t exactly what people mean when they say they they want to use their leaves as lawn mulch. They need to be mowed over to chop them up when they are dry so the mulch can work it’s way down to the soil. Indeed, and definitely lazy of me to not elucidate accordingly. (and, btw, is exactly how it’s done with said clients) (and also, perhaps, not **A3Hunter** ’s approach to it) > [@digs](#): > > Don’t the “sidewalk hedges” block their view of the street? I’ll wager those folks are going for privacy. As you’re hanging out, I hope you don’t go giving any joggers the “it’s a sidewalk, asshole!” business.🙂 You must be a hot, smokin’ banjo player. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/57 "2019-07-13T02:21:43Z")
> [@Guest-starring\_Id](#): > > You must be a hot, smokin’ banjo player. 😛 Like, I’d be on my porch playing banjo? Hell, no, I like my neighbors. I’m pouring Cointreau, Monkey Shoulder, and Brandy ‘n’ Cokes for passersby tonight. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/58 "2019-07-13T15:57:56Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > This one time, I was outside whacking this huge bush— really going to town on it— when out of nowhere, this woman walks up and starts screaming 'bout how my huge tool uses too much gas. And I’m like, naw, baby, mine’s _electric_! Totally true story. Coulda said, “I got yer tool, right here”. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2019, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/59 "2019-07-13T22:54:47Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Like, I’d be on my porch playing banjo? Hell, no, I like my neighbors. I’m pouring Cointreau, Monkey Shoulder, and Brandy ‘n’ Cokes for passersby tonight. I want to walk by your house! We have pretty nice sidewalks here, no encroaching bushes, nice and even. We even have nicely groomed overhanging trees that give shade and attract birds. The birds sing and chirp and cheep and poop without a care in the world. They build nests and raise families that also poop randomly on people and/or dogs walking under them. Some of the birds build their nests in the lower branches, then get upset that people and/or dogs are walking 15 feet under their nests and attack said people and/or dogs. Some birds have even learned that the target of their rage do not like to be pooped on. You haven’t lived until you are try to walk 2 greyhounds and a huge puppy under their nesting area. For some reason, I get much more offended by directed poop than random poop, so the birds have won. We go the long way to the dog park. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902/60 "2019-07-14T01:27:23Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > Before I answer, are we talking about a picture of your bush or your tool? Both are visely clearable. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-a-sidewalk-and-old-bushes-youre-probably-an-idiot/836902.md?page=4)