# If you have an irrational fear, is it a "you" problem, or "the world's" problem?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [November 18, 2024, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407 "2024-11-18T16:54:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 16\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/81 "2024-11-20T12:12:12Z")

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> [@Voyager](#):
>
> Sorry, the workmen have no reason to believe you.

🤷 Our dogs are loose on our property. I’m comfortable with that, if they’re not I’m comfortable with that as well.

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**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/82 "2024-11-20T13:24:55Z")

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About 25 years ago, a traumatic event triggered a claustrophobic variant of agoraphobia in me—an avoidance of both open and closed spaces without an easy escape. Initially, it was debilitating to the point where I didn’t want to leave my home, but thankfully that phase was short-lived. Even now, however, I won’t fly in planes (which I used to love) or cross long bridges in heavy traffic. I’m not a fan of elevators either; getting stuck in one with a crazy lady and her yappy poodle during a hurricane-induced power outage was not fun. I accommodate by taking trains for long distances (though long stretches between stations make me anxious) and by checking real-time traffic before crossing bridges.

I consider it a personal issue—a “me” problem—and don’t discuss it with friends, acquaintances, or family because I find it embarrassing. I just make excuses when necessary.

Otherwise, I’m pretty fearless. Blood and guts don’t bother me, and I have no problem with snakes or other forms of wildlife that others are squinked out by. I mean, I might get a bit anxious if a polar bear crashed through my bedroom window in the middle of the night, but I suppose everyone would.

This experience has made me sensitive to other people’s irrational fears, and I act accordingly, without questioning them.

Recently, my oldest daughter was mauled by a large Mastiff in her neighborhood. The dog jumped the fence while she was out for a stroll and tore her legs down to the bone, necessitating a trip to the emergency room and subsequent follow-up visits for wound care. Despite the severity of the attack, she refused to confront the dog’s owner or involve the authorities—not because she’s non-confrontational (she is quite the opposite)—but because she’s an animal-loving vegan and was afraid they might put the dog down.

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**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/83 "2024-11-20T14:38:50Z")

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**Moderating:**

This is drifting off-topic. If you wish to continue please start a new thread. You could always **Reply as a linked Topic**

**If you are responding to something in a thread that is basically off-topic or likely to lead to a hijack, try this:**

Click Reply, in the upper left corner of the reply window is the reply type button, _looks like a curving arrow point to the right_.

Choose **Reply as linked topic** and it starts a new thread. As an example, you can choose GD, IMHO or The Pit for it.

That is actually the best method.

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**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/84 "2024-11-20T14:41:27Z")

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Moderating:

> [@bump](#):
>
> The chemical sensitivity one is a bit different; I can see close co-workers not wearing odoriferous stuff around her, but what she’d grouse about was someone who worked across the building having cologne that lingered in the elevator, or who left a (mild) scent trail as they walked by. Not unreasonable, but she apparently thought she had the right to demand that _everyone_ not wear anything with scents, regardless of where they worked in proximity to her.

Let’s stick to irrational fears in this thread, please. No more about allergies, chemical sensitivities, women who fear assault, etc.

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**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/85 "2024-11-20T15:10:45Z")

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okay.

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**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/86 "2024-11-20T15:11:58Z")

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> [@Tibby](#):
>
> Despite the severity of the attack, she refused to confront the dog’s owner or involve the authorities—not because she’s non-confrontational (she is quite the opposite)—but because she’s an animal-loving vegan and was afraid they might put the dog down.

Good call on your daughter’s part.

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**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/87 "2024-11-20T15:38:52Z")

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Sure, no problem.

It’s the same thing though- nobody else knows what’s going on in someone else’s head or what their experiences have been, so as long as they act in a normal, polite, and reasonable way, it’s that other person’s problem to accommodate it. Doesn’t matter if it’s an irrational fear, a phobia, trauma, PTSD, or anything else. As long as people are acting within the bounds of normal, and don’t _already know_ about whatever the issue is, then it’s the other person’s problem.

Of course, if they know about it, then there’s a measure of accommodation that conscientious and good people ought to do, once they know about it.

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**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\
**Post date:** [November 20, 2024, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/88 "2024-11-20T16:45:24Z")

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> [@Beckdawrek](#):
>
> A mail carrier, delivery person knows about dogs in that situation. There’s no doubt about that.

I was a summer temp, so I did a different route every day - and didn’t know the dogs.

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/89 "2026-06-27T18:17:25Z")

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I was just thinking of starting a thread about people’s phobias/fears/aversions, then spotted this one. While it started about dogs, it appears to have drifted into general things that make one clutch their pearls or outright descend into panic mode.

I don’t like heights, but I especially don’t like seeing other people in close proximity to serious drop-offs. I have to turn away from seeing those who disregard signs in places like, say, the Grand Canyon, or Gunnison or the Badlands. One gust of wind, people. . .

I also don’t like crowds. It’s not quite claustrophobia, but I don’t like the idea that if something goes sideways, I’ll be trampled to death while listening to bad music.

Lastly, there’s water. I don’t like being in it or on it. Had some bad experiences that I’ve related elsewhere here, and I’m convinced that the ocean - in particular - is out to get me. Beaches make me nervous and I’m constantly watching out for sneaker waves. I’ve always been a poor swimmer, and have had a couple of bad boating experiences. I can take a hint, okay? No cruises, no power boats, and for god’s sake, no canoes under any circumstances.

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**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/90 "2026-06-27T18:31:43Z")

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I just got back from a small ship cruise on the Mediterranean. One of the highlights was they stopped the ship and we all got to go swimming in the marvelous blue clear water many miles from land.

The Captain mentioned the water depth at that point was ~1,200m. To which I added to my companions … Just think: if all the water suddenly magically disappeared, it’d take about 20 seconds for us and the ship to fall to the rocks and mud almost a mile below us. 😁

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**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/91 "2026-06-27T18:35:43Z")

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> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> I was just thinking of starting a thread about people’s phobias/fears/aversions, then spotted this one.

Poll in the Polls-Only thread: [What phobias do you have?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/polls-only-no-discussion/953642/3250)

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [June 27, 2026, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/92 "2026-06-27T20:55:04Z")

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I’d rather have more detail.

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**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\
**Post date:** [July 7, 2026, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/93 "2026-07-07T22:44:11Z")

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It’s right there in the title of the thread ‘irrational’. That’s not a ‘world’ problem, it’s yours.

If someone fears something, I will do my best to accomidate them.

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**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/94 "2026-07-08T16:44:43Z")

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If you have claustrophobia and fear having an MRI done, [it’s on the MRI team](https://radiology.ucsf.edu/patient-care/services/mri-and-claustrophobia) _and_ [you](https://drihealthgroup.com/health-tips/overcoming-mri-claustrophobia-effective-tips-and-techniques) to take steps so that you’re comfortable with the procedure.

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**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/95 "2026-07-08T16:56:15Z")

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Part of the OP was about people expecting the world of strangers to somehow alter the world to address the phobic’s secret fears. Which is a pretty wacky idea for a phobic to hold.

That’s a rather different situation from somebody selling you a service that necessarily provokes your fear. Heck yes, you should tell them and they should have some mitigations at the ready. Especially for fears that are commonplace such as claustrophobia.

Someone needing an MRI who has e.g. an irrational fear of neat rows of screwheads might not be able to be as easily accommodated as somebody with the far more common claustrophobia.

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**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\
**Post date:** [July 8, 2026, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407/96 "2026-07-08T17:25:59Z")

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> [@LSLGuy](#):
>
> Someone needing an MRI who has e.g. an irrational fear of neat rows of screwheads might not be able to be as easily accommodated as somebody with the far more common claustrophobia

Needing sedation for an MRI is actually pretty common, and might help whatever the phobia is.

They can’t make the MRI a wide open space any more than they can remove all the screws.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-an-irrational-fear-is-it-a-you-problem-or-the-worlds-problem/1010407.md?page=4)