# If you have one of those robotic-ear cellphones, you're a douchebag! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807 "2005-10-31T22:19:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/21 "2005-10-31T22:55:10Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > …you Alex P. Keaton Cheese-moving Fish-tossing parachute-coloring Sun Tzu “The Art of War”-buying “cause it can also apply to the modern business world, MAN” America-hating life-ruining BASTARD… This alone makes the rant worth while. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/22 "2005-10-31T23:00:05Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Do I need to go save underage Brazilian prostitutes with deadly viruses too, or does the cord excuse me from that? No! Underage prostitutes aren’t happy unless you _hold the phone up to your face_. Like **VCO3** would, if anyone ever called him. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/23 "2005-10-31T23:03:36Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > Out of curiosity: what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Some sort of moral lecture that everyone with a Bluetooth headset should…quit their jobs and…go…save child prostitutes…or something? My brain just cannot figure out what possible relevance this could have. > > Furthermore: is it just the wireless headsets that piss you off? I have a plain, old-fashioned, cheap ass hands-free unit. > > Do I need to go save underage Brazilian prostitutes with deadly viruses too, or does the cord excuse me from that? Would you excuse my wearing headset if I pointed out that the servers in question are used to support work that, G-d willing, will help ensure that phrases like “HIV+ child prostitute in the favelas of Rio de Janero” are nothing more than figures of speech such as I’d expect to hear spouted by the kind of twit who gets his shorts in a knot becaue some poor slob spent some money on a cool gadget? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/24 "2005-10-31T23:09:03Z")
If I ran over an AIDS infected goldfish because I was trying to talk on the phone and shift at the same time, would I then be permitted leave to use a headset? ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/25 "2005-10-31T23:10:29Z")
I was in the bathroom at a bar last week, when the guy next to me taking a wizz started yakking. At first I thought he was overly friendly, then crazy, but then he turned around and had one of those things on. (Still think he was crazy, really). ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/26 "2005-10-31T23:12:44Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > Would you excuse my wearing headset if I pointed out that the servers in question are used to support work that, G-d willing, will help ensure that phrases like “HIV+ child prostitute in the favelas of Rio de Janero” are nothing more than figures of speech such as I’d expect to hear spouted by the kind of twit who gets his shorts in a knot becaue some poor slob spent some money on a cool gadget? I have no problem with however you use your phone and/or pricey gadgets. I’m just trying to figure out where the underage prostitutes came from. ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/27 "2005-10-31T23:19:16Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > I’m just trying to figure out where the underage prostitutes came from. Brazil, I think. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/28 "2005-10-31T23:24:42Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > If I ran over an AIDS infected goldfish because I was trying to talk on the phone and shift at the same time, would I then be permitted leave to use a headset? No. You should instead use this opportunity to help save an underage Brazilian sex worker by hiring him/her to hold your cell phone up to your ear while you call the appropriate agencies to help resuscitate the injured goldfish. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/29 "2005-10-31T23:25:06Z")
> [@NinjaChick](#): > > I have no problem with however you use your phone and/or pricey gadgets. > > I’m just trying to figure out where the underage prostitutes came from. [Brazil](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=342454) , Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/30 "2005-10-31T23:45:46Z")
I hate cell phones and the cell phone culture, but I think these are kind of cool-looking, actually. Of course in class is a no-no - what are you paying your money for?? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/31 "2005-10-31T23:46:42Z")
I don’t like cell phones to the extent that I purposefully do not have one. But I’m considering getting one of the cyborg units mentioned by the OP simply on the off-chance that I’ll cross paths with him and cause him to feel annoyed. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/32 "2005-10-31T23:49:54Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Personally, I’m holding out on buying a new cell phone until the technology to have it implanted beneath my skin becomes available. Years and years ago, I saw an exhibit at the Science Museum about how one day we’ll all have little piezo-electric transducers implanted in our jawbones which will resonate our skulls and that’s how we’ll all talk on the phone. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am that I _still_ can’t get voices in my head. More voices, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Ooner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c67d28/32.png) [@Ooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ooner)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/33 "2005-11-01T00:19:50Z")
How about you mind your own fucking business, and I’ll talk on the phone however I damn well please. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/34 "2005-11-01T00:26:13Z")
I wonder how the OP would feel about one of [these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/) ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/35 "2005-11-01T00:49:23Z")
By the way, I noticed that a number of taxi drivers, here, are using these earpieces, since it allows them to chat (all the ones I saw using it were chatting with some friend or relative) while driving. Actually, it’s on the head of a taxi driver that I saw this for the first time. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/36 "2005-11-01T00:59:41Z")
WE ARE BORG RESISTANCE IS FUTILE THE BOURGEOISIE CAPATALISTS DEMAND THE IMPLEMENTATION OF BLUETOOTH TECHNOLOGY TO SUBJUGATE THE PROLETARIAT MASSES **VC03** IS IRRELEVANT WE ARE VERY CONFUSED AS TO HOW BRAZILLIAN CHILD PROSTITUTES RELATE TO THIS VENTURE MAYBE WE’LL HAVE A NICE CUP OF REALLY HOT TEA… -NCB for Locutus of Borg ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/37 "2005-11-01T01:02:19Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > .Seriously, we need to burn these things in mass satanic midnight rituals while saluting the swastika - WHATEVER IT TAKES to rid the world of this. Sorry, all the mass satanic rituals are booked up for the foreseeable future in the worldwide effort to purge all cellphone walkie-talkie functions. You’ll have to wait your turn. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/38 "2005-11-01T01:15:07Z")
I liked the rant. Mainly because of the **DOUCHEBAG ROBOT EAR** thing. We have a sales rep who always wears one of those things, and he is indeed a douchebag. I’m now always going to think of him as a sad sufferer of the malady known as **DOUCHEBAG ROBOT EAR**. Of course, he’s not as bad off as he would be if he were a syphilitic Brazilian goldfish suffering from **DOUCHEBAG ROBOT EAR**. Maybe I should tell him to count his blessings. ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/39 "2005-11-01T01:31:41Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I wonder how the OP would feel about one of [these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/) I will kiss, on the mouth, the first person I see using one of those. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/40 "2005-11-01T01:33:17Z")
I must say, the OP has taken this topic to a whole new level of absurdity, exceeded only (perhaps) by debates over the [thread=296091]relative merits of circumcision[/thread]. Meanwhile, in sports, The Starving Cancerous NASA Goldfish triumphed over the Brazilian Child Prostitutes in an astonishing upset which experts attibute to their adoption of Bluetooth cellular headset technology. Douchbags everywhere are celebrating but officials are reviewing the legality of the play. More news at eleven. Stranger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=3)