# If you have one of those robotic-ear cellphones, you're a douchebag! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807 "2005-10-31T22:19:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/41 "2005-11-01T01:38:03Z")
**VCO3** , you are an idiot. It’s a fucking cordless headset. It lets people talk on the the cellphone without holding the damn thing up to your ear, or messing around with irritating, tangly little wires. If you think anyone wears them to be “cool”, “hip”, “hi-tech”, or “suave”, you’re off your rocker. They’re not a fashion accessory or status symbol. No one is wearing them to impress you. They’re wearing them because it’s convenient for them. They’re tools, they make it easier for people to go about their lives. The more I read your rant the more pissed off I get. Just how stupid are you? Do you really think that people in the real world are walking around buying $100 gadgets so they can pretend they’re fucking Robocop? Damn, you’re lucky you’re not in Boston, or I’d have to fight the urge to find you and staple both of mine (yes, I have two, how do you like that, asshole?) to your ears. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/42 "2005-11-01T01:41:03Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I wonder how the OP would feel about one of [these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/) How do you slam it? That’s the biggest appeal of be-coded phones. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/43 "2005-11-01T01:56:11Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > **VCO3** , you are an idiot. I’m with you on that. > [@Absolute](#): > > If you think anyone wears them to be “cool”, “hip”, “hi-tech”, or “suave”, you’re off your rocker. They’re not a fashion accessory or status symbol. No one is wearing them to impress you. They’re wearing them because it’s convenient for them. They’re tools, they make it easier for people to go about their lives. Here’s the thing – I do know some douchebags at work who are wearing them as “look at me OMG I am so cool I have the latest technology” status symbols. True, there are people who are wearing them because they’re functional, and they may well be the majority. But pretending that nobody is wearing them to be cool is no better than pretending that everyone is. Just my $.02. ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/44 "2005-11-01T01:59:50Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > If you think anyone wears them to be “cool”, “hip”, “hi-tech”, or “suave”, you’re off your rocker. They’re not a fashion accessory or status symbol. You’re kidding, right? Can you, with a straight face, sit here and tell me that [this](http://comt.en.alibaba.com/product/50071090/50331672/Bluetooth_Headsets/Bluetooth_Headsets_and_Mouse.html) is not entirely, wholly, and completely contrived to look “hi-tech,” “cyber,” “.com,” or otherwise like a prop from _The Matrix?_ I’ve not seen one of these fucking things that doesn’t _intentionally_ look like it was designed by H.R. Giger teaming up with David Cronenberg to make props for a new _Star Trek vs. The Matrix_ limited series! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/45 "2005-11-01T02:01:16Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > Here’s the thing – I do know some douchebags at work who are wearing them as “look at me OMG I am so cool I have the latest technology” status symbols. True, there are people who are wearing them because they’re functional, and they may well be the majority. But pretending that nobody is wearing them to be cool is no better than pretending that everyone is. Here’s the other thing: someone may decide to wrap their head in Saran Wrap because they think that’s the newest cool look; and other than being mightily entertained by them, I won’t give a shit. I care about people’s stylistic choices for three reasons: 1. They look cool to me; 2. They look stupid to me (in which case it’s funny); or 3. They look hateful to me (e.g., they’re wearing white hoods). Other than that, I don’t give a shit, and I think folks like **VCO3** who do are insecure idiots. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![CartesianDaemon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@CartesianDaemon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CartesianDaemon)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/46 "2005-11-01T02:10:09Z")
1. It’s a coolish device that not cool for that long. 2. Some people wear them because they’re douchebags. Some people wear them because they’re most convenient. (Though I think personally I wouldn’t wear them all the time because it’d be uncomfortable and I’d look like a dorkborg, but if I was driving it would make sense.) 3. They’re much more irritating than you expect because they excacerbate the “someone talking to someone who isn’t there factor.” 4. Cool rant. Some exceptions. Move along now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gazpacho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@gazpacho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gazpacho)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/47 "2005-11-01T02:12:17Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > **VCO3** The more I read your rant the more pissed off I get. Just how stupid are you? Do you really think that people in the real world are walking around buying $100 gadgets so they can pretend they’re fucking Robocop? How can you say this with a straight face. There is no doubt in my mind that there are lots of people who buy these things for just that reason. Not every body by any means but more than a few people. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/48 "2005-11-01T02:21:06Z")
At least they didn’t wear a fedora to a concert while using this new cell accessory. I think everyone simply needs to get some perspective. I mean, ferchistsake!, there are some NFL running backs that have yet to score a touchdown (Ruben Droughns) while others have _thrown_ for more TDs than the NY Jet’s complete complement of quarterbacks (Ladanian Tomlinson) !! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/49 "2005-11-01T02:23:45Z")
> [@CartesianDaemon](#): > > … dorkborg … [Freddy “Boom Boom” Washington] Hi, there! [/F"BB"W] ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/50 "2005-11-01T02:27:49Z")
Good god, I don’t have a cellphone or a special headset to make me feel like robocop, a custom 1911 in a kydex holster does a much better job. Coincidentally I was just looking into a new cell phone provider and was looking at options for handsfree use in a car. My wife bought one of those half assed-clamp onto the phone-play through the FM radio contraptions that at best is unsatisfactory and at worst so clumsy as to be dangerous. Neither of us likes a corded earpiece when driving so I’m considering getting us both bluetooth phones. The fact that I might piss off VCO3 pretty much clinches the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Amazingrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@Amazingrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazingrace)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/51 "2005-11-01T02:33:41Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I wonder how the OP would feel about one of [these](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/) I actually saw someone using one of these on Saturday, at a football game. At first, my friends and I were trying to figure out why the hell this guy had a random phone reciever in his cargo pocket, but then when he started talking on it, he emitted a glow of retro-cool that I just can’t describe. Back to the OP, I agree with the majority here that the OP’s anger needs to be ratcheted back to annoyance. If people are using these so that they aren’t crashing their cars while they’re jabbering, I’m for it. If they’re acting like robocop on the street, I’m annoyed, only because I think that they’re just talking to no one, which kind of freaks me out when I’m walking down the street. ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/52 "2005-11-01T03:44:59Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > You’re kidding, right? Can you, with a straight face, sit here and tell me that [this](http://comt.en.alibaba.com/product/50071090/50331672/Bluetooth_Headsets/Bluetooth_Headsets_and_Mouse.html) is not entirely, wholly, and completely contrived to look “hi-tech,” “cyber,” “.com,” or otherwise like a prop from _The Matrix?_ I’ve not seen one of these fucking things that doesn’t _intentionally_ look like it was designed by H.R. Giger teaming up with David Cronenberg to make props for a new _Star Trek vs. The Matrix_ limited series! I can say, with a totally straight face, that there ARE people who use these, not to impress you (although who wouldn’t want to) but because of their utility. My SO now has one. He didn’t particularly want one, but his employer replaced his cellphone, and it can with a Bluetooth earphone. My SO doesn’t use it in places where others might be impressed with his borginess. He uses it in places where having both hands free is necessary, and where sometimes, having a cord hanging around his neck could be dangerous. GOT IT? People aren’t wearing these to impress you. You don’t really matter that much. ---
**Author:** ![MsMitey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@MsMitey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsMitey)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/53 "2005-11-01T03:56:49Z")
I just hate 'em because I can’t tell the cell-phone-talkers from the garden variety crazy folks on the sidewalk anymore. I think you’re just talking to yourself, but nope, hidden DoucheBorg. Gets me every time. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/54 "2005-11-01T04:15:47Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > If you think anyone wears them to be “cool”, “hip”, “hi-tech”, or “suave”, you’re off your rocker. They’re not a fashion accessory or status symbol. No one is wearing them to impress you. They’re wearing them because it’s convenient for them. They’re tools, they make it easier for people to go about their lives. I will grant you that there are likely a few people who really don’t care what anyone else thinks about how they look wearing one of these things **ALL THE TIME** , since I am very against generalizations. However, I work at a bar. I see guys coming in wearing these things all the time. Funny thing is, they never get a call on them. Ever. They are wearing them to try and impress the drunken ladies, hoping they’ll get laid. Hasn’t worked a night while I was there yet. Maybe someone should tell them that the average hottie at a bar is not impressed by Techno Bill. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/55 "2005-11-01T04:20:42Z")
I bet they would be impressed by my dancing testicles. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/56 "2005-11-01T04:48:03Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > You’re kidding, right? Can you, with a straight face, sit here and tell me that [this](http://comt.en.alibaba.com/product/50071090/50331672/Bluetooth_Headsets/Bluetooth_Headsets_and_Mouse.html) is not entirely, wholly, and completely contrived to look “hi-tech,” “cyber,” “.com,” or otherwise like a prop from _The Matrix?_ If they were really designed by David Cronenberg and H. R. Giger, they’d look more like penises with teeth. Or vaginas with legs. Or penises with teeth inside vaginas with legs. Which would be a marketing disaster, although the ringtone possibilities are intriguing. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/57 "2005-11-01T06:15:04Z")
I bet **VCO3** was the guy whining about that asshole in his IROC with his fancy-shmancy “car phone” back in 1985. Stupid fuck, only bought one to look cool. No one needs a phone in their car. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/58 "2005-11-01T07:36:04Z")
And back in 1905 his great-grandfather was bitching about those people who had telephones installed in their houses. Just to look modern, with that Tom Swift futuristic design: probably only used them to court ladies. Hmmph. Telegrams were good enough for _him_. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/59 "2005-11-01T09:13:12Z")
What if you have a robotic clip-on douchebag? Does that make you a cell phone? ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/60 "2005-11-01T12:31:46Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Other than that, I don’t give a shit, and I think folks like **VCO3** who do are insecure idiots. Totally with you on both counts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=4)