# If you have one of those robotic-ear cellphones, you're a douchebag! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807 "2005-10-31T22:19:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/81 "2005-11-01T22:59:24Z")
I could care less what people do with their money (unless it’s hiring a kangaroo with boxing gloves to re-enacty Rock 4 on me and the kangaroo is Drago, and I’m forced at gunpoint to train in Siberia to make the fight more authentic), but those things are silly looking. Everytime I see somebody wearing one, I want to walk up and place an order for a new Kingsize Sealy Posturepedic. Getting harder to tell the who the crazy people are these days, everyone is pacing around talking to themselvs and gesticulating wildly. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/82 "2005-11-01T23:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > You’re kidding, right? Can you, with a straight face, sit here and tell me that this is not entirely, wholly, and completely contrived to look “hi-tech,” “cyber,” “.com,” or otherwise like a prop from The Matrix? So the fuck what? Hasn’t Apple revitalized their whole fucking business this way? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/83 "2005-11-01T23:06:42Z")
I could care less what people do with their money (unless it’s hiring a kangaroo with boxing gloves to re-enacty Rock 4 on me and the kangaroo is Drago, and I’m forced at gunpoint to train in Siberia to make the fight more authentic), but those things are silly looking. Everytime I see somebody wearing one, I want to walk up and place an order for a new Kingsize Sealy Posturepedic. Getting harder to tell the who the crazy people are these days, everyone is pacing around talking to themselvs and gesticulating wildly. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/84 "2005-11-01T23:10:34Z")
Btw “Re-enacty Rock 4” is what all the cool kids are saying these days. ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/85 "2005-11-01T23:20:45Z")
> [@Rodd Hill](#): > > “Hey, é seus vinte dólares, senhor.” > > Maybe, **VCO3** , you should just consider re-wording your concerns. Perhaps “ **How is it Legal For The Stupid Little Cunt Behind the Counter at the Movie Theatre to Not Tip Their Barista While Being All Futuristic in a Barbarella Sort of Way and Looking Like a Douchebag Wearing One of those Robotic-Ear Fellphones?** ” would be a better title for the thread. I love you tenderly. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/86 "2005-11-01T23:41:09Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > You’re kidding, right? Can you, with a straight face, sit here and tell me that [this](http://comt.en.alibaba.com/product/50071090/50331672/Bluetooth_Headsets/Bluetooth_Headsets_and_Mouse.html) is not entirely, wholly, and completely contrived to look “hi-tech,” “cyber,” “.com,” or otherwise like a prop from _The Matrix?_ Actually, that looks a bit like my son’s very much needed Phonak over-the-ear hearing aid. However, he has not been assimilated, and would have no idea what the hell starving Brazilian HIV+ orphan goldfish are. He, in fact, needs his vaguely cyborg ear pieces so that he can fucking hear me. OK?? Haven’t you got anything better to do than rant about ear pieces? Vlad/Igor ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/87 "2005-11-01T23:57:22Z")
I don’t know… I’m pretty partial to [this](http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/7830/) myself. ---
**Author:** ![Purd\_Werfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47c2d/32.png) [@Purd\_Werfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purd_Werfect)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/88 "2005-11-02T00:04:13Z")
> [@THespos](#): > > So the fuck what? > > Hasn’t Apple revitalized their whole fucking business this way? An excellent point. “Elegance of design” has actually been an Apple value since the dawn of the Mac. Not only that, but if you pick up a computer system, cell phone, or any other piece of digital technology these days, futurism and modernism are going to be obvious goals in the visual design. I don’t have much love for all the time connectivity, but it’s not based on the appearance as much as it is on the societal insulation. ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/89 "2005-11-02T00:06:31Z")
I see **Smeghead** beat me to it. Bah. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/90 "2005-11-02T00:12:19Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > **VCO3** , you are an idiot. > > It’s a fucking cordless headset. It lets people talk on the the cellphone without holding the damn thing up to your ear, or messing around with irritating, tangly little wires. > > If you think anyone wears them to be “cool”, “hip”, “hi-tech”, or “suave”, you’re off your rocker. They’re not a fashion accessory or status symbol. No one is wearing them to impress you. They’re wearing them because it’s convenient for them. They’re tools, they make it easier for people to go about their lives. > > The more I read your rant the more pissed off I get. Just how stupid are you? Do you really think that people in the real world are walking around buying $100 gadgets so they can pretend they’re fucking Robocop? > > Damn, you’re lucky you’re not in Boston, or I’d have to fight the urge to find you and staple both of mine (yes, I have two, how do you like that, asshole?) to your ears. Lord and Lady Douchebag? **VC03** I could not agree more with one small caveat for regarding the bluetooth earpiece – it’s not the wearing them to talk that I (and maybe **VC03**?) object to; it’s the wearing them the rest of the goddam time. First it was the fucking holster for the phone (okay, Batman, nothing accesorizes that $300 strap like a plastic cup), then the wire-earpieces that random douchebags would keep in all the time, now these. Seriously, **Absolute** , you are kidding yourself if you think that some people don’t wear these for show. That, or just wrong. Some (not all) people wear these things conspicuously for a reason. I am suprised at all of the number of posters that I generally agree with who can’t find the humor in **VC03** ’s rant – god as my witness, I’ve said the same thing. And the threat to staple it to his hear, you know that confirms it – you’re a douchebag aren’t ya? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/91 "2005-11-02T00:13:34Z")
> [@Rodd Hill](#): > > “Hey, é seus vinte dólares, senhor.” > > Maybe, **VCO3** , you should just consider re-wording your concerns. Perhaps “ **How is it Legal For The Stupid Little Cunt Behind the Counter at the Movie Theatre to Not Tip Their Barista While Being All Futuristic in a Barbarella Sort of Way and Looking Like a Douchebag Wearing One of those Robotic-Ear Fellphones?** ” would be a better title for the thread. That reads like an _Onion_ editorial title. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/92 "2005-11-02T00:22:40Z")
I am also humbled to be around so many saints who don’t judge, **LHOD**. The beatification will be swift. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/93 "2005-11-02T00:22:48Z")
> [@whole bean](#): > > **VC03** I could not agree more with one small caveat for regarding the bluetooth earpiece – it’s not the wearing them to talk that I (and maybe **VC03**?) object to; it’s the wearing them the rest of the goddam time. First it was the fucking holster for the phone (okay, Batman, nothing accesorizes that $300 strap like a plastic cup), then the wire-earpieces that random douchebags would keep in all the time, now these. Why do you care if they’re wearing them because they think they’re sexy? Say to yourself, “I will NEVER have sex with that fool,” and move on with your life. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/94 "2005-11-02T00:34:26Z")
> [@Ooner](#): > > How about you mind your own fucking business, and I’ll talk on the phone however I damn well please. If we all minded our own business, why would we be in the Pit? A fine Pit rant is all about not minding your own business. And that was a fine Pit rant. It’s about taking a small irritation and blowing it up into full-blown outrage in a way that amuses and entertains and yet contains that original kernel of truth. Truly, we are forgetting the purpose of the Pit, the art of the Pitting. And yeah, those phones do look dorky. Nobody has that important a job. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/95 "2005-11-02T00:39:45Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > I will kiss, on the mouth, the first person I see using one of those. He lives in LA, his name is Brent, and he’s my brother-in-law. Yes, my relatives are weird. ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/96 "2005-11-02T00:44:29Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Why do you care if they’re wearing them because they think they’re sexy? Say to yourself, “I will NEVER have sex with that fool,” and move on with your life. > > Daniel To quote a wise old sage, “I care about people’s stylistic choices for three reasons: 1) They look cool to me; 2) They look stupid to me (in which case it’s funny); or 3) They look hateful to me (e.g., they’re wearing white hoods).” This stylistic choice\* falls squarely into category two. What do we do when we think something is silly? I don’t know about you, but I make fun of it. Sometimes, my method of fun is a hystrionic rant. So in additon to not having sex with a bluetoothin’ douchebag, I will also engage in some ridicule directed at said douchebag. It happens here all the time. I would wager that everyone reading this has at one time made fun of that which he or she finds silly. I don’t know what is more sad: that some folks wear these gadgets in a pitiful attempt to attract attention, or that some SDMB posters can’t see the fodder for mean spirited humor that these douchebas provide. BREAKING NEWS: THIS THREAD ISN’T ABOUT HEARING AIDS, OR TECHNOLOGY . . . IT’S ABOUT DOUCHEBAGS. \*I am referring to the stylistic aspect of these doo-dads, that which **Absolute** will not recognize, that some douchebags do wear these to show off. ---
**Author:** ![TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/51bf81/32.png) [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/97 "2005-11-02T01:54:58Z")
> [@THespos](#): > > So the fuck what? > > Hasn’t Apple revitalized their whole fucking business this way? No - no, they haven’t. Apple have stressed simple, minimal, elegant design. A proper comparison (to these douche-ear devices) would be [Alienware’s](http://www.alienware.com) stressing [douche-tastic designs](http://www.alienware.com/Product_Pages/desktop_all_default.aspx) on their computers, all vents and molded plastic and neon lights to appeal to only the least discriminating and least self-aware geeks. These robotic ear-douches are all Alienware, no Apple. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/98 "2005-11-02T05:05:44Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Why do you care if they’re wearing them because they think they’re sexy? Say to yourself, “I will NEVER have sex with that fool,” and move on with your life. > > Daniel Where’s the fun in that? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/99 "2005-11-02T05:41:07Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > No - no, they haven’t. Apple have stressed simple, minimal, elegant design. A proper comparison (to these douche-ear devices) would be [Alienware’s](http://www.alienware.com) stressing [douche-tastic designs](http://www.alienware.com/Product_Pages/desktop_all_default.aspx) on their computers, all vents and molded plastic and neon lights to appeal to only the least discriminating and least self-aware geeks. I’ve got two of those. At least I didn’t buy one of the limited edition cases with the airbrushed Luke Skywalker on it. ---
**Author:** ![Hunter\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/50afbb/32.png) [@Hunter\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hunter_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807/100 "2005-11-02T05:55:45Z")
> [@VCO3](#): > > No - no, they haven’t. Apple have stressed simple, minimal, elegant design. Suuuuure they have. You might find [this book](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591840961/103-3885791-1092643?v=glance&n=283155&n=507846&s=books&v=glance) illuminating. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-have-one-of-those-robotic-ear-cellphones-youre-a-douchebag/328807.md?page=6)