# If you hosted a late-night talk show for 1 week **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 29, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923 "2003-04-29T15:01:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/1 "2003-04-29T15:01:24Z")
Which one would you take over? (Jay, Conan, Dave, Craig, Jimmy)Who’d be your guests? (format:2 sit-down guests, music/comic) My line-up: (Taking over for Jay) Monday:Michelle Kwan, Lucy Liu, Mariah Carey Tuesday:Tom Hanks, Zhang Ziyi, Billy Joel Wednesday:Ed Harris, Kelly Hu, Natalie Merchant Thursday:Audrey Quock, Mariska Hagerty, John Mellencamp Friday: (Am.) “Whose Line is It Anyway” cast, U2 ---
**Author:** ![hyperjes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df705f/32.png) [@hyperjes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hyperjes)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/2 "2003-04-29T17:18:10Z")
Taking over for Dave- Monday: Kids in The Hall cast, Tori Amos Tuesday: Patrick Stewart, George Carlin, Barenaked Ladies Wednesday: Ewen McGregor, Douglas Coupland, Radiohead Thursday: Heath Ledger, Lori Petty, Our Lady Peace Friday: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Ween Saturday: Peter Krause, Lauren Ambrose, Annie Lennox Sunday: Orson Scott Card, Ed Zotti, KMFDM You _did_ say one week, right? So I included Sat. & Sun. I don’t watch talk shows much. Are they not on during the weekend? I wish I could do this. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/3 "2003-04-29T17:35:28Z")
Taking over for Dave: Monday: Jesse Ventura, George Lucas, Rita Rudner. Tuesday: Jimmy Carter, Paul McCartney, Yes Wednesday: George Bush, Spider Robinson, Metallica Thursday: Bill Clinton, Rush Limbaugh, Carole King Friday: George W. Bush, Fidel Castro, Blue Man Group. I don’t have to pay for damage to the set, right? ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/4 "2003-04-29T17:36:43Z")
I’d take over for Colin Quinn, and fire everyone on that pathetic show. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/5 "2003-04-29T17:41:43Z")
I wouldn’t take over an exisitng talkshow, I’d have my own format of course 😛 Monday: Cameron Diaz, Stephen Hawking, Leann Rimes Tuesday: Kristin Kreuk, George Clooney, Nena Wednesday: Denise Richards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, T.A.T.U. Thursday: Meg Ryan, Udo Kier, Shania Twain Friday: Liv Tyler, George W. Bush, Avril Lavigne ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/6 "2003-04-29T17:43:50Z")
Damn it, **Ethilrist** , I wanted to have George W. Bush on my show exclusively! How dare you invite him before me and on a friday too! (Gosh, I need to type faster; damnation!) ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/7 "2003-04-30T06:21:34Z")
Denis Leary would be my week-long co-host. Dave Attell would definetly be one of the guests, to both do stand-up and pimp _Insomniac_. Ben Folds would be my Paul Shaffer. As for other guests, I’d go with Hunter S. Thompson, Chuck Palahniuk, Barry Zito, Kirsten Dunst, Kevin Smith, Keifer Sutherland. I think that could fill a week. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/8 "2003-04-30T07:30:01Z")
Replacing Dave for a week… okay here’s the lineup (my format) Monday: Tom Hanks, Catherine Zeta Jones Tuesday: Kevin Spacey, Elizabeth Hurley Wednesday: Entire cast of Survivor 🙂 & Sting Thursday: Bill Clinton, George W. Bush Friday: Elizabeth Hurley (she didn’t get to finish on Tuesday), Robin Williams ---
**Author:** ![sirtonyh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@sirtonyh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sirtonyh)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/9 "2003-04-30T14:22:03Z")
Replacing Dave; Monday - Oliver Stone, Helena Bonham Carter, Wu Tang Clan Tuesday - John Cusack, Cameron Diaz, Dr Dre Wednesday - Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, Eminem Thursday - Steven Spielberg, Drew Barrymore, Ashanti Friday - Bill Clinton, Susan Sarandon, U2 Saturday - Sean Penn, Maria Bartiromo (sp?), Lenny Kravitz Sunday - David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Alicia Keys ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/10 "2003-04-30T15:48:16Z")
I’ll give Dave another case of shingles…As well as pulling Anton out from behind those drums. I’d have to ask Sid McGinnis,and Will Lee if they played for Barry Manilow Monday: James Woods, Michael Chiarella(Cooking Demo), Lewis Black Tuesday: Jeremy Irons, A field Trip up Broadway, Fleetwood Mac Wednesday: Peter Jackson (showing outtakes reel), Alan Dean Foster, Wayne Brady (singing only) Thursday: Dave’s Mom, Sam Watterston, Elaine Boozler Friday: Robin (Robbie) Williams gets the whole hour, and Jack Hanna and Matchbox 20 get to come back on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/11 "2003-04-30T16:08:01Z")
REALLY, I’d like Jon Stewart’s job. But I’ll play fair and say Conan, since he’s my next-favorite. The Daily Show doesn’t do music anyway. Mon: George Carlin, Arianna Huffington, The Allman Brothers Band. Tues: Adrien Brody, Meryl Streep, Radiohead. Wed: Robert Anton Wilson, Christina Ricci, Tori Amos. Thu: Chris Rock, Janeane Garofalo, Derek Trucks Band. Fri: Patrick Stewart, Judi Dench. Ian McKellen shows up, they do a scene together, the Allman Brothers Band (whom I jam with). ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/12 "2003-04-30T17:59:27Z")
My ideal Conan week … M: (Intellectual Night) Arthur C Clarke, Stephen Hawking, The Residents Tu: (Bimbo Night) Farrah Fawcett, Drew Barrymore, Avril Lavigne W: (Himbo Night) Kato Kaelin, Keanu Reeves, Justin Timberlake Th: (Paranoid Crazy Night) Hunter S. Thompson, Oliver Stone, Bob Dylan F: (Literature Night) Harlan Ellison, Kurt Vonnegut Jr, Patti Smith (Apologies for any misplet wrods) ---
**Author:** ![djxiii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6f9a4e/32.png) [@djxiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djxiii)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/13 "2003-04-30T18:41:56Z")
Taking over for Dave Mon: Eliza Dushku, Paul Walker, New Found Glory (performing “the story so far”) Tues: Jack Black, Jennifer Garner, My Vitriol (performing “The Art of Choking”) Wed: Orlando Bloom, Jessica Alba, Liam Lynch (performing “US of Whatever”) Thurs: Freddie Prinz Jr., Sarah M. Gellar, Dashboard Confessional (performing “Ender Will Save Us All”) Fri: Keifer Sutherland, Christina Ricci, Finch (performing “What it is to Burn”) ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-hosted-a-late-night-talk-show-for-1-week/171923/14 "2003-04-30T19:28:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Optihut \* > \*\*I wouldn’t take over an exisitng talkshow, I’d have my own format of course 😛 > > Monday: Cameron Diaz, Stephen Hawking, Leann Rimes > Tuesday: Kristin Kreuk, George Clooney, Nena > Wednesday: Denise Richards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, T.A.T.U. > Thursday: Meg Ryan, Udo Kier, Shania Twain > Friday: Liv Tyler, George W. Bush, Avril Lavigne \*\* I would watch your show, as long as the changed format was: First guest is naked".