# If You Kicked a Member of the Undead in the 'Nads, Would It Hurt? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 30, 2006, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826 "2006-04-30T08:09:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/21 "2006-05-01T02:08:47Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] If it’s a werewolf you’re dealing with (I know, not undead, just another supernatural monster), you can definitely stop him by kicking him in the nads. [/QUOTE] Wolfman’s got nads! ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/22 "2006-05-01T03:52:33Z")
I just wanted to say that I am finding this thread to be on of the most entertaining in recent memory. Carry on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/23 "2006-05-01T19:27:04Z")
If I recall correctly from the White Wolf Vampire game, vampires are capable of sex, by virtue of their complete control of their own blood flow, but that it gives them no particularly notable sensation. If the nerve endings in the erogenous zones are dead, then it’s reasonable to suppose that those in their gonads would be as well. In the D&D rules, vampires are in general unharmed by any normal weapon, so it would take a high-level monk or the assistance of a druid casting _Magic Fang_ to do any harm at all to them using an unarmed strike such as a kick. This still leaves open the question of the effects of a magical weapon on the crotch region. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/24 "2006-05-01T19:55:21Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] If I recall correctly from the White Wolf Vampire game, vampires are capable of sex, by virtue of their complete control of their own blood flow, but that it gives them no particularly notable sensation. If the nerve endings in the erogenous zones are dead, then it’s reasonable to suppose that those in their gonads would be as well. In the D&D rules, vampires are in general unharmed by any normal weapon, so it would take a high-level monk or the assistance of a druid casting _Magic Fang_ to do any harm at all to them using an unarmed strike such as a kick. This still leaves open the question of the effects of a magical weapon on the crotch region. [/QUOTE] So in D&D you would have to be a Mage wearing Boots of Kicking +7 or greater to harm an average vampire? What die would you roll for that? ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/25 "2006-05-03T14:07:45Z")
I am playing a Zombie in a MMPORG right now - :rolleyes: I would say kicking zombies only makes them hungrier! In case anyone esle wants to play, visit [http://www.urbandead.com/](http://www.urbandead.com/)🆒 ---
**Author:** ![whole\_bean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@whole\_bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whole_bean)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/26 "2006-05-03T19:23:40Z")
**BMax** > [@](#): > > If it’s a werewolf you’re dealing with (I know, not undead, just another supernatural monster), you can definitely stop him by kicking him in the nads. **Amp** > [@](#): > > You mean, Wolfman’s got nards? **SkipMagic** > [@](#): > > Wolfman’s got nads! ::tweet:: An offical time-out has been called for a ruling on the quotation. After review of _The Monster Squad_, the plays stands as called by Amp. Wolfman has nards. Carry-on. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/27 "2006-05-03T19:36:10Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] If it’s a werewolf you’re dealing with (I know, not undead, just another supernatural monster), you can definitely stop him by kicking him in the nads. [/QUOTE] Obviously…but then again, Werewolves aren’t undead(they’re very much alive). Unless of course, this is the dreaded zombie werewolf we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/28 "2006-05-03T22:14:04Z")
P.N. Elrod’s vampires (_The Vampire Files_ series and others) can sometimes distantly feel pain from hard strikes to sensitive targets, and may register brief, sharp pains from things like gunshots, but suffer no lasting effects. The exception is when they get hit with something made of wood–that jacks them up in a serious way, and can block their ability to go incorporeal. So, if you were wearing wooden clogs, a good swift kick would ruin Jack Fleming’s day. Now for a type of undead we haven’t addressed yet: Mummies. The gonads of male subjects were not removed in the mummification process, so a male mummy might still present a target. However, given the presumably shriveled and hardened condition of the assets in question, and a typical mummy’s imperviousness to pain, kicking him in the nads probably wouldn’t buy you much. On the other hand, the drying process should leave mummies relatively light; you might manage to send him flying, even if you didn’t actually hurt him. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/29 "2006-05-03T22:19:23Z")
If you kicked a member of the undead in the 'nads, would it hurt? Yes…after it tore your leg off and used it to savagely beat you, I think it would hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Zachlee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Zachlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zachlee)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/30 "2006-05-04T03:01:02Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] If you kicked a member of the undead in the 'nads, would it hurt? [/QUOTE] Not if you’re wearing shoes. Thankew! I’ll be here all week! ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/31 "2006-05-04T03:19:34Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Angel] I’m going to recommend definitely not trying this technique on animated skeletons. You will get not even a twitch in their hollow gazes and mad grins. [/QUOTE] [hijack] A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a drink and a mop. [/hijack] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/32 "2006-05-04T10:06:53Z")
What about the Witch King of Angmar? If it was a woman doing the kicking? Barrow-wights? They are corporeal - but just a fancy zombie with a dress-up-hobbit fetish, or nuttable? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/33 "2006-05-04T17:13:24Z")
[QUOTE=MrDibble] What about the Witch King of Angmar? If it was a woman doing the kicking? [/QUOTE] That brings up an interesting issue. The Witch-King’s boast is “No living man may hinder me.” And Mablung (IIRC) prophesied that “not by the hand of man” would he fall. Could a zombie take on the Witch-King? What about a vampire or a werewolf? One presumes that as a Maiar, Gandalf _could_, but his commission forbade it. What about Saruman (before he was cast out of the White Council)? Had his plans worked our a bit closer to his own imaginings, would he have been able to take out the Witch-King? ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/34 "2006-05-04T22:36:39Z")
Oh you guys…what is this American obsession with being kicked or hit in the balls? Does it have some historical/cultural basis? This is like the SDMB version of America’s funniest home videos. ---
**Author:** ![Zachlee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Zachlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zachlee)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/35 "2006-05-04T23:30:48Z")
[QUOTE=MelCthefirst] Oh you guys…what is this American obsession with being kicked or hit in the balls? Does it have some historical/cultural basis? This is like the SDMB version of America’s funniest home videos. [/QUOTE] … with zombies. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/36 "2006-05-04T23:37:46Z")
Football… Groin… It works on so many levels. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/37 "2006-05-04T23:39:41Z")
“Mrrrrrrgh. Mur gruhn.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/38 "2006-05-05T00:18:07Z")
This question is for Marlon Perkins from the Mutual of Omaha: Not anything related to the undead or trying to suck out your brains, but with all the mention of nads and nards has gotten me to think about Merpeople and if you could defend yourself from a merman (not Ethel) by kicking it in the balls…if you could find them or are they egg layers or something? Werewolf Nards would be an excellent user name ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/39 "2006-05-05T01:18:11Z")
[QUOTE=MrDibble] Barrow-wights? They are corporeal - but just a fancy zombie with a dress-up-hobbit fetish, or nuttable? [/QUOTE] \*Cold be hand and heart and bone, and cold be sleep under stone; never more to \* _ **WHOK** _ \*EEAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!! GAAAHHH! AAUGGHH! Hhaauunnggg… Nnguggh… Unhh… Oh Jesus… Oh you little bastard… Ohh when I get my hands on you… I’m gonna rip your \*\*\*_WHOK_ \*\* _EEAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2006, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826/40 "2006-05-05T02:13:48Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] Is it correct to say “package”, or do they possess a more primitive “packet”? [/QUOTE] Oh my fucking _God_… 😃 **Terrifel** , explain to my kids what’s so damn funny, would you? I can’t breathe… **Mel** , I don’t know about the rest of the US, but yeah, I find it blindingly hilarious. My husband is horrified and disgusted by turns- he only needs to fake a groin injury and I am laughing so hard I almost wet myself. It’s always been that way. I know it’s wrong, and I’m so ashamed. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-kicked-a-member-of-the-undead-in-the-nads-would-it-hurt/354826.md?page=3)