# If you met God what questions would you ask him? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2022, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323 "2022-02-11T16:38:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/41 "2022-02-12T07:27:03Z")
I only want to ask which way He wants us to hang the toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/42 "2022-02-12T13:21:05Z")
Can I see the dinosaurs? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/43 "2022-02-12T13:25:33Z")
_ **POOF** _ There’s a museum pass in your hand. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/44 "2022-02-12T14:19:29Z")
What in _bleep_ is there to do for an eternity? ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/45 "2022-02-12T15:19:38Z")
If good will eventually triumph over evil, why hasn’t it already? What’s taking so long? ---
**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/46 "2022-02-12T15:37:02Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > > [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > > > Can you make a boulder so heavy that even You can’t lift it? > > Beat me to it! > > So, instead: > > “Why’d you make the sex bits part of the excretory functioning, too? Kinda gross, if I’m being honest.” Yeah, Great Engineer; Why’d you put the playground in the sewage disposal plant? Dan ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/47 "2022-02-12T15:37:40Z")
Bone cancer in children? What’s that about? [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/-suvkwNYSQo/hqdefault.jpg "Stephen Fry on God | The Meaning Of Life | RTÉ One") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-suvkwNYSQo) Why did you create, or allow, so many terrible, disgusting, and torturous things that happen to children and other innocents? ---
**Author:** ![4d3fect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/4d3fect/32/9728_2.png) [@4d3fect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/4d3fect)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/48 "2022-02-12T16:22:37Z")
Where did the dolphins go? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/49 "2022-02-12T18:29:45Z")
Why is @ **discobot** so damned irritatingly smug? Tripler Enquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![EnglishGrey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/englishgrey/32/14111_2.png) [@EnglishGrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnglishGrey)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/50 "2022-02-12T20:09:37Z")
Is there a question I can ask to which your answer wouldn’t be ‘you wouldn’t understand’? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/51 "2022-02-12T20:13:01Z")
> [@EnglishGrey](#): > > …Is there a question I can ask to which your answer wouldn’t be ‘you wouldn’t understand’? I can answer that one for you, you’re making it much too easy for God to continue being a dick. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/52 "2022-02-12T21:00:36Z")
Does P = NP? And, if I’m not dead, what is Amazon going to close at all of next week. Time to get something out of this meeting. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/53 "2022-02-12T21:36:35Z")
Do you ever get tired of being misgendered? ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/54 "2022-02-12T21:50:39Z")
Above all other things why do you like hydrogen? ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/55 "2022-02-12T21:52:45Z")
Why not go for something important like the Riemann hypothesis? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/56 "2022-02-12T21:55:03Z")
> [@Icerigger](#): > > Above all other things why do you like hydrogen? Sure, there’s a lot of it, but in terms of design effort… [Isotopes of hydrogen - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isotopes_of_hydrogen) > Hydrogen has **three** naturally occurring isotopes [Beetle - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beetle) > The Coleoptera, with about **400,000** described species, is the largest of all orders, constituting almost 40% of described insects and 25% of all known animal life-forms ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/57 "2022-02-12T22:03:45Z")
Because this is a semi-silly thread and I knew somebody else would ask for some more consequential proof. 🙂 Scrolling up, I see somebody else did indeed ask about Riemann. Paul Erdős said about Collatz, ”Mathematics is not ready for such problems.” Perhaps having such a proof in hand would make us ready, and prove a useful technique for tackling problems as yet unknown. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2022, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/58 "2022-02-12T22:22:14Z")
Why did racist, misogynistic Grandpa (my maternal grandfather), who hated me and hated my mother, live so much longer than Nee-Nee and Pop-Pop (my paternal grandparents), who loved _all_ of us? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/59 "2022-02-13T00:33:19Z")
Who is your least favorite Simpsons character? Why no national hotdog chains? What is the most interesting car you saw today? ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2022, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323/60 "2022-02-13T00:42:17Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Who is your least favorite Simpsons character? > **[God](https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/God)** > > He is a force bigger than Mom and Dad put together, and you owe Him big.Lisa Simpson If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible? The first one sold pretty well.Homer Simpson God, also known as The Lord and Heavenly Father, is the... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-met-god-what-questions-would-you-ask-him/959323.md?page=4)