# If you mix up your family members' names like I do, you might find this comforting **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 31, 2017, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676 "2017-01-31T18:15:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/1 "2017-01-31T18:15:57Z")
[This was so interesting to me,](http://www.npr.org/templates/transcript/transcript.php?storyId=509353565) and kind of a relief that it’s completely normal. Some highlights: > [@](#): > > TRUDEAU: So she surveyed over 1,700 people - men, women, different ages - asking about name mix-ups. And she found naming mistakes are very common. Most everyone does it. Deffler calls it a normal cognitive glitch - not related to a bad memory or to aging, but rather to how your brain categorizes names. > > DEFFLER: Overwhelmingly, the wrong name that was used was in the same category. > > TRUDEAU: Meaning the same relationship category, like a special folder of family names and a different folder for friends’ names stored in the brain. > > DEFFLER: So I was being called other family members’ names. I was never being called one of my mother’s friends’ names. For me personally, it’s also very gendered. I will call my wife one of my daughters’ names, call one of my daughters my wife’s name, or swap the girls’ names. Mix and match among the females. Or I’ll switch my two sons’ names (there’s not as much potential there, as I don’t ever mix in my own name). So my little “folder” is “female (or male, as the case may be) member of my nuclear family, but the one I live with now, not the one I grew up with”. Possibly one of the most interesting parts of the story had to do with animals: > [@](#): > > TRUDEAU: Your family dog typically gets filed with other family members and thus mixed up with other family names. This, of course, begs the question, what about your family cat? > > DEFFLER: You are much more likely to be called the dog’s name than you are to be called the cat’s name. > > MULLIGAN: And that’s interesting. And it implies that, psychologically, we categorize the dog’s name along with our family members’ names, and we don’t do that with cats’ names apparently, or hamsters’ names, or other animal names. This is very satisfying for me as someone who likes dogs but dislikes cats. Take that, cat people! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/2 "2017-01-31T18:19:45Z")
Ivylad calls me by his younger sister’s name sometimes, but only when we’re all together. It’s quite funny. He never calls me by his older sister’s name. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/3 "2017-01-31T18:21:20Z")
That’s hysterical. My husband always tells the story about how his mom would go through his three older siblings’ names AND the dog, before she got to his name. My mom did the same, but we had no dog 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/4 "2017-01-31T18:21:48Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Ivylad calls me by his younger sister’s name sometimes, but only when we’re all together. It’s quite funny. He never calls me by his older sister’s name. Huh. And this is your husband, or long term partner? Are you younger than he is? ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/5 "2017-01-31T18:23:25Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > That’s hysterical. > > My husband always tells the story about how his mom would go through his three older siblings’ names AND the dog, before she got to his name. > > My mom did the same, but we had no dog 🙂 When I shared this on Facebook, one of my friends (a mom, the group the story says is most prone to do this) says she goes through the names of the kids, the dog…and the fish! So she is disputing that part. Hard to imagine a fish being mixed in; but then I don’t have any fish so what do I know. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/6 "2017-01-31T18:25:58Z")
My great grandmother did that all the time. Whichever of us three kids she was talking to, she’d call us the other two first. However she also told the same stories over and over again and then developed dementia or Alzheimer’s in her late 80s. And very quickly too. She went from being her old self to scarcely knowing who I was within just a year or so. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/7 "2017-01-31T18:28:34Z")
> [@SlackerInc](#): > > When I shared this on Facebook, one of my friends (a mom, the group the story says is most prone to do this) says she goes through the names of the kids, the dog…and the fish! So she is disputing that part. Hard to imagine a fish being mixed in; but then I don’t have any fish so what do I know. My dad used to call us "daughter #1, #2, #3, #4 (it was cute thing because he had four daughters, not icky). He always got that right, even when he messed up our specific names, especially as he began to lose his memory. It was nice to know that he always knew exactly who I was, even when he couldn’t pull the right name out. We had no fish, either. So I’m not qualified to comment. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/8 "2017-01-31T18:29:18Z")
Someone I know told me a story involving someone he knew, in which the guy got exasperated with a (male) friend of his and yelled at him “[**WIFE’S NAME**] …” Bad sign … ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/9 "2017-01-31T18:39:16Z")
Yup, the only time I’ve ever called my husband by my brother’s name was when I was really mad at him. I don’t like my brother much. I suspect Ivylad gets along better with his younger sister than his older one. My mom would call us by each other’s names, with the various dog and cat names mixed in. These days she occasionally calls me by the name of my brother’s daughters. I’ve never known a family that claims to have never experienced this phenomena. My husband has no sisters, so he’s only called me by the wrong name of his previous girlfriend(s) a couple of times. Fortunately, it’s always been at a moment that was funny rather than annoying. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/10 "2017-01-31T18:45:53Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > Someone I know told me a story involving someone he knew, in which the guy got exasperated with a (male) friend of his and yelled at him “[**WIFE’S NAME**] …” > > Bad sign … Ahhh…so that “folder” was titled “people who piss me off”! LOL :smack: ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/11 "2017-01-31T19:00:14Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > I don’t like my brother much. I suspect Ivylad gets along better with his younger sister than his older one. Nope…they’re all very close. I think it’s because his younger sister and I are fairly close in age. ---
**Author:** ![Rudiger\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rudiger\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rudiger_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/12 "2017-01-31T19:06:42Z")
I heard the intro to this when it first aired and it just cemented my opinion that David Greene is the most insufferable host on NPR. > [@](#): > > RACHEL MARTIN, HOST: A thing I am totally guilty of, David - messing up names. I’ve definitely called… > > DAVID GREENE, HOST: Yeah. > > MARTIN: …My kids the wrong names. I know it’s really… > > GREENE: That’s terrible. > > MARTIN: No, it’s very confusing in my household. Have you ever done that? Have you ever called your wife another name? > > GREENE: No, absolutely not. And I can’t believe… > > MARTIN: Of course you wouldn’t. > > GREENE: …You called your kids the wrong name. > > MARTIN: (Laughter). > > GREENE: That’s horrible. I do this all the time, too. Generally, my daughter and wife get switched with each other and my son gets swapped with the cat, but occasionally, I’ll call one kid by the other’s name. I think people that don’t have their cat’s name in the mix probably have better behaved cats than mine. ---
**Author:** ![SlackerInc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slackerinc/32/275_2.png) [@SlackerInc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlackerInc)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/13 "2017-01-31T20:42:53Z")
> [@Rudiger\_Simpson](#): > > I heard the intro to this when it first aired and it just cemented my opinion that David Greene is the most insufferable host on NPR. > > I do this all the time, too. Generally, my daughter and wife get switched with each other and my son gets swapped with the cat, but occasionally, I’ll call one kid by the other’s name. I think people that don’t have their cat’s name in the mix probably have better behaved cats than mine. Yeah, he was being kind of a jerk there. I generally find him to have a really great NPR voice, but I’ve called him out on Twitter because he has almost a tic that he so often is guilty of when he interviews people. It goes something like this, and he does it time and again: > [@](#): > > GREENE: So what was it like growing up with a famous musician for a father? > > INTERVIEWEE: It was really an interesting childhood. I got to go on the road with him when school was out, and I would watch him perform from the wings. > > GREENE: So you spent your summers backstage at your father’s concerts? > > INTERVIEWEE: Uh, yeah. They never add, like I wish they did, “That’s what I _just said_.” Gaahh. :smack: Now, about the cats: do they really respond to their names, though? Part of my impression of why this wouldn’t be as likely to happen with cats as with dogs is that it seems to me like a cat’s name is just something for humans to label it. Like, you’d tell your friend “Max had to go to the vet after Oliver scratched him” instead of saying “My black cat had to go to the vet after my calico cat scratched him”. Whereas dogs really do know, and respond to, their individual names when you address them. Like when I had two dogs I could tell one of them to sit by name and only that one would sit. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/14 "2017-01-31T21:26:25Z")
My cats know their names, but the “respond to them” isn’t like dogs. When I say Shadow’s name, her ears go back and she looks at me. She doesn’t come though. Streak looks at me and sometimes will meow when I say his name, but he doesn’t come either. (Unless both of them think their name is Dinner.) I do sometimes call one cat by another cat’s name, so apparently cats’ names are in the same folder as described by the OP. I have never called my husband by anyone else’s name, but we tend to use pet names with one another (perhaps because he’s been married multiple times so it’s safer to call me “Baby.”) ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/15 "2017-01-31T22:11:06Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > That’s hysterical. > > My husband always tells the story about how his mom would go through his three older siblings’ names AND the dog, before she got to his name. > > My mom did the same, but we had no dog 🙂 My mom would do this too and I’m youngest of five! ---
**Author:** ![Oukile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@Oukile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oukile)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/16 "2017-01-31T22:27:45Z")
I have one older brother and younger 3 sisters, and I keep mixing the names of the 2 younger sisters (and they are over 20 so it’s been going on for a while). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/17 "2017-02-01T02:56:00Z")
I remember once when my mother called me by the parakeet’s name. Not the right gender or class. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/18 "2017-02-01T03:18:47Z")
But did she like the parakeet? (class of beings she liked?) ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/19 "2017-02-01T03:43:03Z")
I’m the youngest of 3 brothers. Sometimes when my mother wanted to get my attention, she’d bump down the list of our names in age order, similar to this: “Tommy— Timmy— Terry!” (Our real names also all begin with the same letter, but not the one given here.) ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676/20 "2017-02-01T16:08:00Z")
Cats and dogs don’t have the same kind of relationship with their people. Dogs are considered family members, but cats are called Sir, or Your Honor, or in times of light-hearted familiarity, Mr. Cat. When you come home, your cat looks at you as if to say “Who are these people who keep coming to my house?” I have a tendency to mix up girl friends. My mind thinks of a current one by the name of a former one – a particular one. My wife does the same thing, calling me by the name of her ex. I don’t embarrass her by correcting her. It would only be disconcerting if she comes up with a name I’ve never heard before. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-mix-up-your-family-members-names-like-i-do-you-might-find-this-comforting/778676.md?page=2)