# If You Oppose SSM, How Will You Feel When It's Allowed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2012, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233 "2012-08-03T00:02:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/21 "2012-08-04T21:13:12Z")
I’m opposed to SSM. I’m an atheist, so it can’t violate God’s law, but I don’t understand why SSM should be tax deductible. I don’t understand why childless opposite sex couples should get a tax write off either, but I can’t see why it is desirable to make the loophole bigger. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/22 "2012-08-04T21:44:47Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I’m opposed to SSM. I’m an atheist, so it can’t violate God’s law, but I don’t understand why SSM should be tax deductible. I don’t understand why childless opposite sex couples should get a tax write off either, but I can’t see why it is desirable to make the loophole bigger. Is the tax issue the only reason you oppose SSM? Are you upset about childless heterosexual couples? How about heterosexuals who get married once the woman is no longer able to bear children? What about same sex couples who already have children? Should they be allowed to marry? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2012, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/23 "2012-08-04T23:48:07Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I’m opposed to SSM. I’m an atheist, so it can’t violate God’s law, but I don’t understand why SSM should be tax deductible. I don’t understand why childless opposite sex couples should get a tax write off either, but I can’t see why it is desirable to make the loophole bigger. Although I appreciate you detailing why you’re opposed to SSM, none of this explains what you’ll do or feel once it’s legalized, as per the question in the OP. Would you like to take another shot at it? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/24 "2012-08-05T00:10:07Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > I’m opposed to SSM. I’m an atheist, so it can’t violate God’s law, but I don’t understand why SSM should be tax deductible. I don’t understand why childless opposite sex couples should get a tax write off either, but I can’t see why it is desirable to make the loophole bigger. The purpose of marriage is not limited to procreation. But that is another discussion entirely. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/25 "2012-08-05T02:12:26Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Is the tax issue the only reason you oppose SSM? Are you upset about childless heterosexual couples? How about heterosexuals who get married once the woman is no longer able to bear children? What about same sex couples who already have children? Should they be allowed to marry? What part of this sentence did you not understand? > [@](#): > > I don’t understand why childless opposite sex couples should get a tax write off either, but I can’t see why it is desirable to make the loophole bigger. From a tax point, there shouldn’t be a married class at at all. There should only be a single and head of household. The law already allows Gay and Lesbian people who already have children to file as head of household. From this point of view there would be no civil marriage at all. What I don’t understand is why single people should be required to subsidize Same Sex or Opposite Sex couples who aren’t actually raising future citizens. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/26 "2012-08-05T02:22:45Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > The purpose of marriage is not limited to procreation. > > But that is another discussion entirely. No it isn’t a different discussion. I only care about reasons for SSM that make a plausible for the state and single people to subsidize it. A lot of single people are going to resent SSM because they feel like they are getting screwed over again and not for religious or moral reasons. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/27 "2012-08-05T02:44:35Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > What I don’t understand is why single people should be required to subsidize Same Sex or Opposite Sex couples who aren’t actually raising future citizens. Damn, you figured us gays out. We just want SSM so we can suck off the teat of sweet government subsidies. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/28 "2012-08-05T16:59:38Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Damn, you figured us gays out. We just want SSM so we can suck off the teat of sweet government subsidies. If same sex couples aren’t interested in the financial benefits of SSM, then they should be happy to pass a law that will let them marry without the financial benefits. That would include joint returns, social security benefits and medical benefits. If fact, I would say all marriages should be on that basis going forward. I would be happy to approve SSM on that basis. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/29 "2012-08-05T18:06:36Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > A lot of single people are going to resent SSM because they feel like they are getting screwed over again and not for religious or moral reasons. First I ever heard this. I think you’re unusual, and that very few single people are going to think that way. > [@](#): > > What part of this sentence did you not understand? Totally missed that. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/30 "2012-08-05T19:13:04Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Well, considering the way most people that oppose it act like it will be the downfall of civilization if it’s legalized, then yeah, I’m curious how they’ll cope. There’ll be a vocal minority saying that about anything. It’s just a question of how large and how vocal a minority. > [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > A lot of single people are going to resent SSM because they feel like they are getting screwed over again and not for religious or moral reasons. > [@John\_Mace](#): > > First I ever heard this. I think you’re unusual, and that very few single people are going to think that way. There are certainly a lot of, well, vocal people who are opposed to the entire concept of civil marriage, though IME most of them feel that as long as we are registering relationships with the State, there’s no reason to limit the relationships that can be registered. In any case, I don’t know if that’s quite the same thing, but obviously people opposed to all marriages are almost all single, legally speaking, and at least some of them feel they are being screwed over for their decision (in many cases) not to marry. ---
**Author:** ![Mdcastle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@Mdcastle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mdcastle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/31 "2012-08-05T20:23:53Z")
To answer the original question, I don’t think I’d actually feel much of anything. There’s already things that I think should be illegal that aren’t, and things that I think should be legal that aren’t. So to me life would just go on. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/32 "2012-08-05T20:29:43Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > If same sex couples aren’t interested in the financial benefits of SSM, then they should be happy to pass a law that will let them marry without the financial benefits. That would include joint returns, social security benefits and medical benefits. If fact, I would say all marriages should be on that basis going forward. > > I would be happy to approve SSM on that basis. Hey, I just thought of a perfect catch phrase for that, “Separate But Equal”. I can’t see how it will fail. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/33 "2012-08-05T20:47:13Z")
> [@Cumberdale](#): > > Hey, I just thought of a perfect catch phrase for that, “Separate But Equal”. I can’t see how it will fail. What part of this sentence did you not understand? > [@](#): > > If fact, I would say all marriages should be on that basis going forward. There is nothing “Seperate” at all about that proposal. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/34 "2012-08-05T22:02:46Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > A lot of single people are going to resent SSM because they feel like they are getting screwed over again and not for religious or moral reasons. Yes, I know I can’t go a day without feeling burning resentment for married couples’ tax deductions. The thought of adding SSM to that mix is too much to bear. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/35 "2012-08-06T03:17:48Z")
> [@Joel Upchurch](#): > > A lot of single people are going to resent SSM because they feel like they are getting screwed over again and not for religious or moral reasons. Yeah! Speaking as a single person… thass craaaaaaaaazy. Seriously dude, do you spend a \*lot \*of time thinking up reasons to feel oppressed? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/36 "2012-08-06T03:59:11Z")
Once more with feeling, to those who seem to dance around answering the actual question in the OP… For those that are opposed to SSM, how will you FEEL or what will you DO when it is legalized? Thank you for your attention to this minor detail. And I appreciate the replies from those who have actually answered the question. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/37 "2012-08-06T13:42:57Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Yeah! Speaking as a single person… > > thass craaaaaaaaazy. Seriously dude, do you spend a \*lot \*of time thinking up reasons to feel oppressed? What does oppression have to do with it? If you don’t think about the financial implications of changes in public policy, then you are a fool. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/38 "2012-08-06T14:30:11Z")
I’m sure people that are opposed would feel the same way they do now, unfavorably. They would feel that marriage has a strong biological component, that the traditional family unit is in jeopardy and children are wired to grow up with a father and a mother. I think the traditional family unit is in jeopardy, not because of SSM but because of many other factors. I don’t know what they could DO beyond voting and lobbying/protesting. SSM has already been defeated many times on ballots, the majority don’t want it. But those in favor of SSM are vocal and growing, it will happen eventually. The whole debate takes me a step back and leaves me wondering why people who are married (SSM or otherwise) get different treatment than those who aren’t? Why does it matter on tax returns? ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/39 "2012-08-06T23:09:37Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > What does oppression have to do with it? If you don’t think about the financial implications of changes in public policy, then you are a fool. You said that you and other single people “resent” that you’re getting “screwed over.” If your primary reason to oppose SSM is that you resent married peoples’ ability to file jointly, you’re a petty fool. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233/40 "2012-08-07T00:51:46Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > You said that you and other single people “resent” that you’re getting “screwed over.” If your primary reason to oppose SSM is that you resent married peoples’ ability to file jointly, you’re a petty fool. Either you are a married person who takes money out of my pocket to subsidize your lifestyle or you are the fool. [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0e/US\_income\_tax\_2008.svg/701px-US\_income\_tax\_2008.svg.png](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0e/US_income_tax_2008.svg/701px-US_income_tax_2008.svg.png) Look at this chart. That isn’t petty. That is billions of dollars every year that single people have to subsidize for **childless** married couples. Explain to me why you think **childless** people should be subsidized by other childless people? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-oppose-ssm-how-will-you-feel-when-its-allowed/630233.md?page=3)