# If you rub the lamp, you get the genie! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 21, 2018, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680 "2018-09-21T15:11:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/21 "2018-09-22T01:58:24Z")
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and—AND—I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/22 "2018-09-22T03:21:46Z")
The toppings contain potassium benzoate…That’s bad. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/23 "2018-09-22T03:24:12Z")
> [@What\_Exit](#): > > Talking cats? ::shudder:: most cats are bastards at heart. Sociopaths at best. Harumph, my cats are not sociopaths, bastards, maybe. I never… ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/24 "2018-09-22T04:37:07Z")
That this Megamillions ticket will be the sole winner of the $308+million. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/25 "2018-09-22T12:02:48Z")
World peace. Naaah – not really. Unlimited hookers and blow; and since the two are universally linked it probably qualifies as one wish ---
**Author:** ![Newtosite](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/newtosite/32/8623_2.png) [@Newtosite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newtosite)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/26 "2018-09-23T09:36:48Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > I’d wish for all of my bills to be paid and have enough money not to have to worry anymore. > > My husband and I were co-signers on our sin’s student loans. He was diagnosed with cancer a month after college graduation and died 2-1/2 years later. We have to pay for those loans. Just one more crappy thing to have to stress about. I’m so sorry, TRC4941. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/27 "2018-09-23T10:57:42Z")
Financial security. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/28 "2018-09-23T11:18:14Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and—AND—I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it? Granted. The turkey is a little dry. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/29 "2018-09-23T12:07:54Z")
Only one wish? Damn. This is too hard. I wish I has some more time to think. Yeah. That’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/30 "2018-09-23T13:07:16Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > World peace. I think Muldar tried that one, and everyone in the world but him poofed away. Congrats - you out-Thanosed Thanos > [@GuanoLad](#): > > Financial security. Never a worry about your next meal or the roof over your head - life in prison without parole for you! I’ve always been partial to the magic wallet that has enough money to pay for whatever you are buying. Or, since I’m a guy and almost always have pockets - that the money I need is in my pocket (so I don’t lose the wallet). ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/31 "2018-09-23T14:22:18Z")
Granted. All the money you need is in your pocket. In pennies. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/32 "2018-09-23T17:49:53Z")
At age 32 I had had a bad year. I would like a do over. Wait, I change my mind. Things wouldn’t be the way they are now if I hadn’t suffered through all that. Yeah, so nevermind. Just send me a trunk full of gold coins.:)please. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/33 "2018-09-23T18:59:49Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I want cats who can talk to me and we could have fine conversations about deep thoughts and issues. Or I want a pet crow, if I cant get talking cats. I’m easy to please.😉 Tuna, I like tuna. Do you have any tuna? I remember the last time I had tuna. It was great. NOW would be a good time to open a can of tuna. Have you heard my favorite album? REO Speedwagon, you can tune a piano but you can’t tune a fish. Salmon, now THERE’S some good eating fish… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/34 "2018-09-23T19:26:21Z")
No bad luck. _Eve_r. That doesn’t mean always good luck, just no bad luck. My house won’t burn down, I won’t get into a serious accident that’s my fault, or into any hospitalized accident. I wouldn’t fall down and hurt myself badly. My airplane might be a little delayed (but the delay wont hurt), but will never crash. When flu season comes, if most people are getting it, despite the flu shot, sure, I can too. But it won’t be hospital time. Of course that means the Earth won’t be destroyed by any huge unlikely disaster. No asteroid, no Yellowstone massive volcano, no planet wide nuke war, etc. So my wish os good for everyone, in a way. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/35 "2018-09-23T22:42:13Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > World peace. Thats really selfish of you! > [@](#): > > Naaah – not really. Unlimited hookers and blow; and since the two are universally linked it probably qualifies as one wish Now we’re talkin. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/36 "2018-09-24T00:29:34Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > … But then I say Moriarty’s post and realized that the real answer is indeed telekinesis. And not namby-pamby telekinesis either; I wanna juggle cars… Well, sure. But I was mainly going for retrieving the remote when it’s on the other end of the couch and the dog is all comfortable laying on my chest. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/37 "2018-09-24T01:09:58Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Well, sure. But I was mainly going for retrieving the remote when it’s on the other end of the couch and the dog is all comfortable laying on my chest. Tough choice. Who won? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/38 "2018-09-24T22:37:43Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > Tough choice. > > Who won? I would gladly lay still whenever a contented dog wants to nap on my chest. Alas, it is never to be. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2018, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/39 "2018-09-28T04:29:40Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Granted. > > The turkey is a little dry. The turkey’s a little dry? OH, FOUL ACCURSED THING! WHAT DEMON FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL CREATED THEE? \ ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2018, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680/40 "2018-10-01T14:54:36Z")
> [@Newtosite](#): > > I’m so sorry, TRC4941. Thank you [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-rub-the-lamp-you-get-the-genie/821680.md?page=3)