# If you saw Bond...was Halle Berry as horrible as I expect she was? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [November 23, 2002, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305 "2002-11-23T03:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/21 "2002-11-24T05:22:49Z")
“Die Another Day” was a rather weak Bond offering. Even for a James Bond film, the story made little sense. There were some nice touches earlier, such as Bond picking up a birding guide, but Berry was boring (although nice to look at), the other woman was uninteresting, the villains were hard to figure out, and I could never quite figure out just what the hell the bad guy’s secret weapon really did or how he was able to develop technology that quickly and get it into orbit in less than a year. ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/22 "2002-11-24T05:40:12Z")
> [@](#): > > Black actresses have given fine, Oscar winning performances over the years (if you want to see two, rent The Color Purple, with Whoopi and Oprah). Both of these performances were very good, but neither won an Oscar. There wasn’t an Oscar-winning performance by anyone in The Color Purple. > [@](#): > > Halle’s isn’t one of them. IMO, Halle earned her Oscar with a dead-on perfomance. I believed her every on-screen moment. Watch her in the quiet moments: At the pre-execution meeting, on the couch with her son, when she meets Peter Boyle, and he analyzes her like a piece of meat. Watch her face at the end. This is a complete, subtle, convincing performance. She was competent in _Die Another Day_ in a role that didn’t require much of her. The best performance I’ve seen her give was in _Bulworth_. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/23 "2002-11-24T05:49:18Z")
Just saw it tonight; unfortunately I found it dreadful, nearly as bad as, say, _Moonraker_ and, IMO, for similar reasons. Firstly, the screenplay was simultaneously dull, utterly preposterous, and nonsensical, even allowing for the comic-strip excesses of the Bond canon. Secondly, and this charge can be leveled at any number of recent action films, the CGI effects, instead of wowing us as presumably intended, demolish any tension or sense of peril concerning the characters involved. When are filmmakers going to learn that photo-realistic does not equal realistic? Lastly, we come to Ms. Berry, who basically phones in her performance, never once showing the slightest engagement with her character. Actually, I much preferred Rosamund Pike’s frosty ice queen, especially in the rather fetching S & M ensemble she wore in the climactic fight with Berry. Too bad she was so hard to see due to director Tamahori’s annoying penchant for flinging the camera about in all the action scenes. The only other bright spot was John Cleese’ expert delivery of his too-few lines. Bad, bad, bad. Never thought I’d say this, but maybe it IS time to put Mr. Bond out to pasture. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/24 "2002-11-24T05:52:51Z")
Oh yeah, and Michael Madsen was wasted in a part that anyone could have played. Too bad they didn’t cast him as one of the villains. Mr. Bond vs. Mr. Blonde, now I’d pay to see that. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/25 "2002-11-24T05:58:49Z")
Whew! I thought it was just me who couldn’t figure out what was going on? Like the bad guy with the diamonds embedded in his face. I can figure out how they got there, but the director never made it clear that such an event took place in the opening sequence. And to think that there are “Hard liners” in North Korea and those who are “Soft liners”. Umm. Probably not. Are any North Koreans allowed to go to the US for college education? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/26 "2002-11-24T06:42:10Z")
I thought it was histerical. Did you know that in Cuba the women dance on every street corner for no reason? And you can be genetically remade, but diamond-shrapnel cannot be removed from your face. Madonna _still_ cannot act and she’s looking more and more like Eva Braun every day. Halle Berry can’t have a faithful partner in real life or in the movies. James Bond is a whore. There were 3 really good parts. The two sword fights and the beginning title sequence where Bond gets tortured for about 3 inches worth of hair growth. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/27 "2002-11-24T08:16:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > **Madonna _still_ cannot act and she’s looking more and more like Eva Braun every day.** She’s looking more like [this](http://www.peoples.ru/family/wife/braun/braun.jpg) and [this](http://www.iigm.galeon.com/biografias/evap01.jpg)? I don’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Magickly\_Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magickly\_Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magickly_Delicious)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/28 "2002-11-24T19:08:40Z")
[Here.](http://www.madonnacatalog.com/dad/2040f3s.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/29 "2002-11-24T19:57:55Z")
I agree with everybody who has said the Bond franchise is sinking fast- at least in quality, if not profits. Goldeneye was decent, but since then I strongly suspect that Brosnan is past his prime for the role. Am I the only one annoyed with the 50+ year old playboy Bond whoring around the globe? It’s so old hat anymore- deal with the boss, get the toys, meet the strangely named beautiful girl with all the personality of a toadstool, fight the bad-guy-planning-to-take-over-the-world, car or boat chase/narrow escape/blow things up, get captured, defeat bad guy and his plan, screw the girl- The End. Yeah, like I couldn’t see that one coming… I don’t want to see this movie. The commercials have been bugging me for a couple of weeks now. Dr. No was the first Connery as Bond movie I ever saw and I’m rather attached to the innocent wild girl Usula Andress coming out of the ocean in that. But now I’m seeing commercials where they have Halle Berry doing a repeat of that very scene?? People, people PLEASE!!! When will they learn that perfect moments in movies cannot be repeated! They cheapen the whole damn thing! Halle Berry is no Ursula Andress, not by a long shot. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/30 "2002-11-24T20:17:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number Six \* > \*\*Both of these performances were very good, but neither won an Oscar. There wasn’t an Oscar-winning performance by anyone in The Color Purple. > \*\* I think the statement was intended to be “Oscar-calibre” performances. The film got several nominations including Best Actress (Whoopi Goldberg) and Best Supporting Actress (Oprah Winfrey AND Margaret Avery). Whoopi Goldberg was so favored to win that some people even mutter thather Oscar for _Ghost_ was a thinly veiled attempt to make up for the slight. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2002, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/31 "2002-11-24T21:37:13Z")
Gwyneth Paltrow > [@](#): > > “In Shakespeare in Love, I played a woman playing a man playing a woman. In actuality, I am a man who was playing a woman, playing a man, playing a woman. My apologies to anyone who’s ever whacked off to me.” HAH! ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/32 "2002-11-25T00:36:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fairblue \* > \*\*Am I the only one annoyed with the 50+ year old playboy Bond whoring around the globe? > \*\* Most definatly not. Even if The Two Towers, the new Harry Potter movie, and the new Star Trek movie weren’t coming out very soon I still wouldn’t watch this one in the theatres. Upon closer inspection Pierce Brosnan is 1 year younger than my dad, and Rosemund Pike is 2 years older than me. The two of them going at it is definatly NOT something I want to see. Course, I’ve said this 3 times now so I think I’ll shut up. ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/33 "2002-11-25T02:12:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BobT \* > **Like the bad guy with the diamonds embedded in his face. I can figure out how they got there, but the director never made it clear that such an event took place in the opening sequence.** Near the beginning Bond blows up the suitcase with the diamonds and Zao is like standing right next to it. When he gets up you can see the diamonds emmeded in his face. Maybe you didnt recognize him later because his head is shaved and his eyes are blue… a result of trying to change his identity. I found some parts, particularly near the end to be over the top, and over all it was a bit too long. It should have finnished up when the ice palace went down. Halle Berry didnt seem to fit in her role. I didnt care for her short haircut either. I liked her much better as Storm in X-Men. Otherwise than that it wasnt a bad movie, it does the job of entertaining. Unfortunately, I think the hay days where Sean Connery and Roger Moore were Bond are over. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/34 "2002-11-25T02:46:13Z")
I think Pierce Brosnan was a fabulous Bond and I definitely think he is the best thing in this new movie. He is so incredibly handsome and I love the way he squints slightly and clenches his jaw. Hubba hubba. The plot was so confusing: conflict diamonds, huh? Did the bad guy REPLACE the real Graves and his fortune or did he create the person and build a fortune? Loved M, loved Q, loved the car, liked Miranda Frost (although she had really bad teeth for a big budget movie). I think Halle Berry is an incredibly beautiful woman, but I could NOT stand the way she delivered her lines, her pacing is awful, just awful. She was the worst thing in this movie. ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/35 "2002-11-25T07:55:39Z")
Overall I thought the movie was entertaining and moved quickly. I didn’t have any problem following the plot. It took me a while to want to see Bond movies because they all seemed similar as pointed out above. But now I’m more interested in the stunts and such, like the duel between the Bond car and the green one. When I look at the movies this way, whether or not Berry performs well is not an issue. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/36 "2002-11-25T13:52:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El\_Kabong \* > \*\* > Actually, I much preferred Rosamund Pike’s frosty ice queen, especially in the rather fetching S & M ensemble she wore in the climactic fight with Berry. \*\* S & M ensemble? Black leather pants and a white sports bra? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/37 "2002-11-25T18:41:36Z")
> [@](#): > > S & M ensemble? Black leather pants and a white sports bra? Er, actually I beleive it was white fencing pants and a black sort of bustier thing, and and long black gloves. As I said, the camera was jumping around so much it was hard to see. ---
**Author:** ![Obvious\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Obvious\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obvious_Guy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/38 "2002-11-25T23:25:22Z")
I think it was Madonna’s character who had the S&M look going. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/39 "2002-11-26T04:53:03Z")
I think it is bad enouugh her name is _not_ Wai Lyn, Octupussy, or Pussy Galore but Jinx. You’re screwing up a perfectly good system with that. It’s a tradition. But Halle Berry saying Jinx is feisty and independent, an equal of Bond, and implying that the next Bond should be a woman? Blashpemy! :mad: :mad: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305/40 "2002-11-26T06:37:17Z")
I think the bad guy already had the conflict diamonds and then put a logo into them later to make them look like they were from somewhere else. Or something like that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-saw-bond-was-halle-berry-as-horrible-as-i-expect-she-was/138305.md?page=3)