# If you sprinkle.. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450 "2004-05-28T01:05:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/1 "2004-05-28T01:05:18Z")
…when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie. And if you’re male, lift the damn seat up before urination. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/2 "2004-05-28T01:07:11Z")
The other side is: when you’re done, put the damned seat back up. Why can’t women ever learn this? ---
**Author:** ![lovelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@lovelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovelee)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/3 "2004-05-28T01:19:48Z")
Yeah, but it doesn’t rhyme. Try this: When you’re forced to enter the stall Just after the act, do recall When you urinate Don’t be an ingrate Lest your ass be kicked fast to Nepal. Of course, I leave it to you to try to engrave on bathroom walls. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/4 "2004-05-28T01:31:26Z")
There’s always the classic one from store bathrooms. “We aim to please. You aim too, please.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/5 "2004-05-28T02:43:59Z")
My favorite: In case of aerial attack, hide here. It hasn’t been hit yet. ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/6 "2004-05-28T03:18:07Z")
> [@Exgineer](#): > > The other side is: when you’re done, put the damned seat back up. > > Why can’t women ever learn this? Well I’m not exactly complaing about leaving the seat up. I hate when men pee while the seat is down. Pee gets all over the seat and it is nasty. I don’t mind if the seat is left up, so much as pee all over the seat. Nasty nasty men. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/7 "2004-05-28T03:38:06Z")
Which is why I recommend putting both the seat _ **and lid** _ down. Then everyone get to go through the process of putting the lid and/or seat up… and can get bitched at if they forget to put the seat and lid back down. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/8 "2004-05-28T03:53:52Z")
My sister’s a good one for pissing all over the toilet seat. Even in the house. She’s gotta be hovering…but why would you hover IN YOUR OWN HOUSE? ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/9 "2004-05-28T13:40:00Z")
Semi-related: I saw a sign advertised in one of those gift catalogs (I think it was Harriet Carter). It’s for people who have their own swimming pools. The sign read: “Welcome to our ool. Notice there’s no “P” in it. Please keep it that way.” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/10 "2004-05-28T13:45:58Z")
My aunt had one that said: We don’t swim in your toilet So please don’t pee in our pool ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/11 "2004-05-28T13:50:53Z")
**Exgineer** , I have the opposite problem; My wife always forgets to put the lid back down despite having a dog and toddler who would love to play in the bowl. Yick. ---
**Author:** ![WomanofScorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@WomanofScorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WomanofScorn)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/12 "2004-05-28T14:22:54Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > My sister’s a good one for pissing all over the toilet seat. > > Even in the house. > > She’s gotta be hovering…but why would you hover IN YOUR OWN HOUSE? I thought th is girl I know was weird for hovering in her parents’ house, but in your own home? Now that is strange. I always have a container fo clorox wipes on the tank when she comes over so she can wipe the seat down before she uses it. I also have been known to carry around those lil disinfectant wipes with me for public restrooms. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/13 "2004-05-28T14:24:00Z")
A verse from decades ago: “Be like Dad Not like Sis Lift the lid When you piss” ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/14 "2004-05-28T14:49:34Z")
Here I sit, broken hearted. Tried to shit, but only farted. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/15 "2004-05-28T15:18:38Z")
I’m pretty sure I saw one that said Don’t throw cigarette ends in our toilets and we won’t shit in your ashtray. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/16 "2004-05-28T15:31:22Z")
Seen at a local hot dog place: Please don’t throw cigarette butts in the urinal–it makes them soggy and hard to light. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/17 "2004-05-28T15:35:19Z")
Here’s a slight tangent for those using porta-potties this summer: If you close the lid on this little seat when you’re completely through, the next one in could breathe fresh air (that next one might be you). ---
**Author:** ![N.Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f19dbf/32.png) [@N.Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N.Sane)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/18 "2004-05-28T16:22:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Here I sit, > broken hearted. > Tried to shit, > but only farted. Please don’t be so down at heart. One day you’ll shit when you thought you’d fart. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/19 "2004-05-28T16:24:50Z")
> [@Gorgon Heap](#): > > **Exgineer** , I have the opposite problem; My wife always forgets to put the lid back down despite having a dog and toddler who would love to play in the bowl. > > Yick. Aw, ick. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/41988e/32.png) [@Dazzling\_White\_Diamonds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dazzling_White_Diamonds)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2004, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450/20 "2004-05-28T16:28:12Z")
You’re in a hurry, You’re in a rush, But before you leave Why don’t you flush? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-sprinkle/247450.md?page=2)