# If you wear that, I'll disown you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437 "2009-12-08T13:09:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/21 "2009-12-08T16:39:57Z")
Kam ------ depending on his size, if you want to make it disappear, you can ship it to me. I’ll go postage and even more and add it to my collection. 🙂 I’m a bad one to ask about fashion. Everything I wear either came from an amusement park (I have an old Erieview Park employees shirt on right now) or from some point in history. I’ve been known to leave the house looking like anything from a Victorian undertaker to a 70s era politician to some Amish farmer. The Amish thing has become enough of a regular thing for me that the wife doesn’t even notice anymore. She did try to sneak my paisley nehru jacket out with some Thrift Store stuff once but that could have been an honest error on her part. (OK - she drew the line when I wanted to go to an Octoberfest at church dressed like Kaiser Wilhelm. But she was right - the Lederhosen did look much better) ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/22 "2009-12-08T16:42:13Z")
I had a friend who used to harp incessantly at her husband about his clothing choices - mostly about them being old (but still completely serviceable). Then one day he said to her, “At least I can still fit in my clothes.” which ended any further criticisms… ---
**Author:** ![cuberdon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/45deac/32.png) [@cuberdon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuberdon)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/23 "2009-12-08T16:50:32Z")
One of my exes had two brothers both of whom actually had pretty good taste in clothing, classic suit and tie stuff, except for one thing. They were both colorblind. Really, really colorblind. Either one was absolutely capable of buying a pair of bright orange trousers. I swear to G-d, they could not tell. They had to approach salesladies to make sure they were _not_ buying bright orange trousers. It probably sounded like the world’s worst come on. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/24 "2009-12-08T16:57:36Z")
I’m blessed to have an SO that has fashion sense. And I at least know what works with my body type. However, past SOs have not always been so fashionable. Grumpy (the ex-husband) who would wear shirts with holes in them and sweatpants out in public. I used to purposefully make the shirt holes big enough to stop him from wearing them - because if I just threw them away he would dig them out of the trash. Couple that with the fact that his severe buddha belly caused him to continually stain across his stomach and that he had a penchant for wearing Warner Bros. t-shirts and you can see what a GQ I was married to. Then there was the engineer I dated (no slamming, just explaining). Granted, he was 6’5" and had certain shopping challenges. But he wore the same outfit almost every day: baggy jeans, white sneakers, and a button down one-pocket cotton short sleeved oxford in either: blue, green (most popular), tan or red. He literally would find a shirt he liked and just order it in his size, one of every color, until JC Penney discontinued the style. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/25 "2009-12-08T17:28:51Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > **Mahna Mahna** - I wonder if the 90s purple thing is because its right when people that are buying more grown up stuff (tuxes, suits for business, more business-y clothing) were growing up when Purple Rain was popular? 🙂 > > And good lord, bless you for not saying anything. I blame the original Batman movie… you know, the one with Michael Keaton as Batman? Jack Nicholson did look pretty awesome in his purple suit, you have to admit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/26 "2009-12-08T17:30:13Z")
Tel him to save it for next Halloween. He can go as [Ralph Furley](http://sothathappened.typepad.com/main/images/furley.gif). ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/27 "2009-12-08T18:14:42Z")
My fashion sense consists of, “The brighter, the better, and no clashing patterns.” The latter clause is the result of fervent nagging from my mother. I’d dress for grade school on a striped blue shirt and a yellow butterfly skirt, and she wouldn’t let me leave the house until I changed it. I’m twenty, now, and I still have the following conversation with her: Mom: You know that shirt (coat/pants/skirt)? Me: Yes? What about it? Mom: It’s time to throw it in the garbage. Me: Why? I like this shirt (coat/pants/skirt). Mom: It’s got holes (pilling/paint/way too small). Me: So? It’s just a small hole. I didn’t even notice it until you told me. Mom: You are _not_ going to wear that outside the house. And shoes. My mother has this strange idea that shoes and socks matter just as much as the rest of the outfit. Okay, I see the difference between high heels and sneakers, but I don’t wear either. I wear bland black leather sandals. If one pair has some paint from the art class where we were doing Jackson Pollack, so who’s going to notice? And I like colors, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/28 "2009-12-08T18:27:07Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > I was just thinking the other day about how my boyfriend now shops exclusively at [Dollar General](http://www.dollargeneral.com/Pages/index.aspx) for everything but his pants. If you don’t know Dollar General…it’s pretty much like Big Lots. My husband buys his jeans there. “Why pay more than $10 for jeans?” Because if you do, you’ll have jeans that fit right? My first husband bought a golden-brown corduroy suit at the bargain basement at Sears. Lucky for both of us, by the time he had occasion to wear it, he’d gained weight and it didn’t fit. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/29 "2009-12-08T19:03:49Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > He literally would find a shirt he liked and just order it in his size, one of every color, until JC Penney discontinued the style. There is nothing wrong with this for work clothes. ☹ In all seriousness, aside from our perennial argument about whether or not I should wear short sleeves with everything (my answer: if it’s not under a suit, yes. I’m freakin’ hot) I’m not as bad as many of the people in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/30 "2009-12-08T19:28:18Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > The latter clause is the result of fervent nagging from my mother. > . Now, see, if we bring my mother in to the picture, I’ve got a story. I am in my 30s and happen to be, well, buxom. (Ok, very buxom. This is not a surgical result. I grew in to them quite naturally. ) I’m kinda tall (5’9"ish flat footed, but I usually wear heels) and ‘fluffy’. I also hate anything tight around my short neck, so I usually avoid turtlenecks, high collars, etc. I just happen to prefer something with a scoop or boat neck. However, being buxom, this often results in at least the top of my cleavage line being visible. THIS does not work for my mother - a 5’3" former missionary and quite conservative dresser. She loves turtlenecks and ankle length skirts, preferably worn at the same time. So here we are a few years ago at Lane Bryant (i.e., plus-sized women’s shop) and I’m trying on tops. I find a short-sleeved top that I like, but as usual, there’s a wee bit of cleavage showing. Moi: Whaddya think? Mom: Well, I like it. But y’know what it could really use? Moi: what? Mom: A dickey. Let me go see if I can find one. And then, before I can stop her, my mom proceeds to walk around LB shouting. “Where are the dickeys? Have you seen any dickeys? Do you carry dickeys? My daughter needs a dickey. I need to find a dickey for my daughter!” I quickly change my clothes, grab my mom, and offer to build a time machine and go back to the 1950s so I can buy a dickey if she will only promise to never mention that word in public again. For the record, in spite of it all, I still bought the shirt. And I still wear it all the time. Without the dickey. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/31 "2009-12-08T19:32:13Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Long before I knew Mr. Ujest, he proudly wore a lavender tuxedo to his prom. > > When he went looking for a tux for our wedding he went to the tux shop that rented him _the_tux\* and, ten years after prom, they remembered him the minute he walked in. > > To this day he sees _nothing_ wrong with this transgression. > > Lavender Tux would be a good band name. Remember, there _are_ gay penguins … and they’re probably on the march right now! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/32 "2009-12-08T19:40:20Z")
> [@AuntiePam](#): > > My husband buys his jeans there. “Why pay more than $10 for jeans?” Because if you do, you’ll have jeans that fit right? Not necessarily. If you’re not built like the fit model for a company, their clothes are typically not going to fit right, no matter how much you pay for them. Especially with jeans. This is an argument my husband and I have fairly regularly when I bitch about clothes not fitting–he claims if I didn’t go to Walmart, I could find clothes that fit better, whereas I claim that paying $60 for pants that give you camel toe is insanity. Being as I’m the one who’s tried on about 5 trillion pairs of pants and seen them in the dressing room mirror, I’m going to keep sticking to the ones I can just pull off the shelf and take home in reasonable confidence. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/33 "2009-12-08T19:41:10Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > He literally would find a shirt he liked and just order it in his size, one of every color, until JC Penney discontinued the style. And? You just described my ideal shopping experience (minus the JC Penney). ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/34 "2009-12-08T19:44:52Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > There is nothing wrong with this for work clothes. ☹ > [@The\_Lurker\_Above](#): > > And? You just described my ideal shopping experience (minus the JC Penney). Ok - let me explain something. You are not cartoon characters. You are not required to always wear the same clothes every day, with only slight variations in color. 😃 For me, I guess, a lack of creativity in dressing means that you might lack creativity in other areas. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/35 "2009-12-08T19:54:29Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Not necessarily. If you’re not built like the fit model for a company, their clothes are typically not going to fit right, no matter how much you pay for them. Especially with jeans. This is an argument my husband and I have fairly regularly when I bitch about clothes not fitting–he claims if I didn’t go to Walmart, I could find clothes that fit better, whereas I claim that paying $60 for pants that give you camel toe is insanity. Being as I’m the one who’s tried on about 5 trillion pairs of pants and seen them in the dressing room mirror, I’m going to keep sticking to the ones I can just pull off the shelf and take home in reasonable confidence. I suspect he’s saying that you could find non-Walmart pants that don’t give you camel toe and look great. I can’t buy pants off the rack at most stores due to having long legs and thus a longer inseam than the vast majority of manufacturers make for, so I spent some time checking out the measurement guides at various stores’ websites and finding ones that would work. I still need to check the fit of a particular new pair before buying due to stylistic changes, but at least I have a starting point there, and I know what stores I can shop at for pants. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/36 "2009-12-08T20:07:10Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Ok - let me explain something. You are not cartoon characters. You are not required to always wear the same clothes every day, with only slight variations in color. 😃 > > For me, I guess, a lack of creativity in dressing means that you might lack creativity in other areas. > :dubious: Yeah, but this means I don’t have to spend any of my creative energy on “shopping for work clothes”, the least creative experience since mowing the lawn. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/37 "2009-12-08T20:11:51Z")
When I think back to some of the things I used to wear, I cringe. For a lot of my adult life I’ve been required to wear a button up shirt and tie to work. I think I do pretty well with it now. But in the old days it might have been a short-sleeved pink shirt with a matching polyester pink tie, kahkis, black (or cloth) belt, tan loafers, and white socks. And everything wrinkled, of course. I used to have one summer outfit that a girlfriend picked out for me. Pink shorts (that were really short) and a lime green t-shirt. I think her thinking was that she’d ensure my fidelity by making me look really, really gay. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Lurker\_Above](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Lurker\_Above](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Lurker_Above)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/38 "2009-12-08T20:12:07Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Ok - let me explain something. You are not cartoon characters. You are not required to always wear the same clothes every day, with only slight variations in color. 😃 > > For me, I guess, a lack of creativity in dressing means that you might lack creativity in other areas. > :dubious: Nonsense! If you do this consistantly between different clothes wearing at different rates/stains or rips prematurely killing items/ manufacturers changing models you can have 3 or 4 different ‘sets’ of shirts/pants. Throw in a half dozen ties and you have effectively endless combinations. And if I don’t waste ‘creativity’ on pointless stuff I have more left over for the important things. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/39 "2009-12-08T20:15:53Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Yeah, but this means I don’t have to spend any of my creative energy on “shopping for work clothes”, the least creative experience since mowing the lawn. Understood - except that the majority of people probably encounter you while in said clothes, unless you change immediately before and after work each day and only see people in a non-work environment. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/40 "2009-12-08T20:30:06Z")
Hi, my name is **Slypork** and I have no fashion sense. I can’t tell the difference between really dark navy blue and black. I see absolutely nothing wrong with wearing pants and shirts that are just different shades of the same color (brown shirt with beige pants, for example). I have tried to wear a shirt with a small plaid pattern with a pair of shorts with a large plaid. My worst event happened when my wife and I were first dating. Right before I got out of the Army I was stationed in Oklahoma. My friends and I all owned fringed leather jackets and fringed moccasin boots (God only knows why we thought we looked good). Shortly after I got discharged my wife and I were going to go out so she came to my house to pick me up. I walked to her car wearing this outfit, looking like a cross between Jeremiah Johnson and Gomer Pyle. We drove about a mile when she turned the car around and said, “Look, I really like you. But we’re going out and I’m going to introduce you to my friends for the first time. And there is no way in hell that I will let you meet them dressed like Davey Fucking Crockett!” I really liked her and could see how upset this was making her so I said no problem. She drove back to my house, I ran in and changed into gym shoes and a bomber jacket and went back to her waiting in the car. The relief in her eyes was incredible. When she told her mom what I had been wearing and that I was not offended when she asked me to change, she said, “You better hang on to that guy. He must really love you to put up with that!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437.md?page=3)