# If you wear that, I'll disown you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 8, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437 "2009-12-08T13:09:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/41 "2009-12-09T00:11:46Z")
> [@LouiseE](#): > > One of my exes had two brothers both of whom actually had pretty good taste in clothing, classic suit and tie stuff, except for one thing. They were both colorblind. Really, really colorblind. Either one was absolutely capable of buying a pair of bright orange trousers. I swear to G-d, they could not tell. They had to approach salesladies to make sure they were _not_ buying bright orange trousers. It probably sounded like the world’s worst come on. Oh my god. I worked at Sears the year **kambuckta’s** SO’s suit was made. I was 17 and worked sometimes as a floater, helping out in whatever department, relieving people for breaks and lunches. I liked working in the men’s department the best. I knew a bunch of the guys in men’s (heh), and I am not kidding you, out of I think 12 part timers in that department, half of them were color blind. Like bats. They sold some seriously screwed up shit. Cripes, it was 1970 and lavender was a perfectly fine color for a prom tuxedo; orange was a really popular color also. These poor guys couldn’t just fake it with gray and black like you can now. I used to laugh like a loon when I’d go down to mens and one of them was trying to put together an outfit of plaid pants (funny enough all by themselves) with a colored shirt AND a big ol’ wide tie. Customer standing there looking all WTF. Hoo boy. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/42 "2009-12-09T00:41:39Z")
In addition to his Ed Hardy styles my Mig has done strange things to his hair. He has beautiful thick straight black hair. When we met he kept it shoulder length, usually in a neat pony tail. Then he started shaving his head, but left parts. In addition to various styles of mohawk, he’s shaved his entire head except for bangs. It’s hideous. He thinks it’s cool. I love him so I actually put up with it, as long as he wears a cap when we go to the store together. He’s just trying to grow it back out now. I hope he doesn’t give in. He is so hot with that long hair. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![sideshowkar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5e9695/32.png) [@sideshowkar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sideshowkar)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/43 "2009-12-09T00:55:55Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Ok - let me explain something. You are not cartoon characters. You are not required to always wear the same clothes every day, with only slight variations in color. 😃 I’ve read that this is actually a pretty common trait for introverts. I do it. I buy a surplus of things that I feel comfortable in and that will make me as invisible as possible when I venture out into public. I will make myself presentable, but other than that, I don’t really think about how I look or how other people will perceive me; what matters is that I don’t feel constricted by what I have on and that I have enough pockets for my wallet and phone and whatever else so I don’t have to carry around a bag. For me, this means cargo pants/shorts, a t-shirt or polo, and a sweatshirt or jacket. I do have a few pairs of custom order Vans shoes, but that’s about as crazy as I get. ---
**Author:** ![Countrypolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/858c86/32.png) [@Countrypolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Countrypolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/44 "2009-12-09T01:53:39Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I suspect he’s saying that you could find non-Walmart pants that don’t give you camel toe and look great. I can’t buy pants off the rack at most stores due to having long legs and thus a longer inseam than the vast majority of manufacturers make for, so I spent some time checking out the measurement guides at various stores’ websites and finding ones that would work. I still need to check the fit of a particular new pair before buying due to stylistic changes, but at least I have a starting point there, and I know what stores I can shop at for pants. I’ve got the same problem–long legs, monkey arms, most off the rack doesn’t fit. I wear JC Penney stuff almost exclusively; ultra-tall boot cut cords in different colors, tops and sweaters in coordinating colors. I did manage to find some GAP jeans at Big Lots for $8, they’re not the most stylish cut, but they are long enough and that’s all that matters. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/45 "2009-12-09T01:56:45Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > My beloved SO is an older fellow with many quaint and curious ways. He likes Muzak, still writes hand-written letters to old friends, and irons his cotton handkerchiefs. > > And being of his generation, beige is still the favourite colour in his wardrobe. Trousers, shirts, vests and even his socks are fucking beige. Every now and again he’ll get adventurous and wear a WHITE shirt, or KHAKI pants, but really, they’re just a different shade of beige. > > Today he came home all excited after a shopping expedition to the Goodwill Store in town…with a beige suit. But not just any old suit, oh no…it was a Safari Suit, circa 1970, with lapels that extended all the way to the shoulders. It was in pristine condition with all the original creases still intact. Like it had never been worn even. > > \*\*YOU KNOW WHY?? BECAUSE NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER HAVE BEEN SEEN DEAD IN ONE. EVEN IN 1970. THEY WENT OUT OF FASHION BEFORE THEY CAME IN. \*\* > > He tried it on and did the New Outfit parade before me, and I smiled, nicely, and made comment on what a bargain he had snagged… **.and that he was forbidden from ever wearing it out in public in my company**. When The Kid came into the room and burst into hysterical laughter at the sight, I think he realised the gravity of his sin. :D… You know what would make that suit acceptable? Even fashionable? SEQUINS AND RHINESTONES!!! You need to get him one of those rivet-gun-like machines to sparkle and spangle that baby up! Send a picture of him all tricked out to Oprah, and I bet she will think of a subject to get him on her show. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/46 "2009-12-09T02:25:46Z")
Of the two of us, I don’t think either of us is a fashion disaster, but I’m probably closer to it than Jim is. Jim has very good taste - he has an ability to pick out clothes for me that I wouldn’t pick out for myself, but they look awesome as soon as I put them on (and he dresses himself nicely, too). I usually buy clothes that fit comfortably in traditional styles (I think most fashion mavens will tell you that comfort is your last consideration is you want to look fashionable). ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/47 "2009-12-09T04:37:47Z")
> [@TheMerchandise](#): > > I have a pink hoodie with bunny ears attached, which I like to wear around in the cold. It’s adorable! It reminds me of [A Christmas Story](http://applesandalligatorpears.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/bunny-suit1.jpg)! > > And it embarrasses my SO to the point of convulsions. I have a bright blue and green knit cap with kitty ears on it. We should wear our animal-themed head gear together and see how many people stop and stare\*. Considering we are in NYC probably not too many. I see weirder shit than that all the time. I saw a man with no pants going to the bank at 11 p.m. in the middle of winter! I think the hats probably wouldn’t even ping people’s weird-o-meters. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/48 "2009-12-09T12:33:04Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > And then, before I can stop her, my mom proceeds to walk around LB shouting. “Where are the dickeys? Have you seen any dickeys? Do you carry dickeys? My daughter needs a dickey. I need to find a dickey for my daughter!” I laughed and laughed. Tremendous. She must be fun to go shopping with! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/49 "2009-12-09T13:36:44Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Or a username should Mr. Ujest join the Teeming Millions … > > (To his defence, was his prom back in the day (probably 1970s, “the decade that fashion forgot”) when a lavender tux wouldn’t be seen as odd?) His prom was in 1983. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/50 "2009-12-09T13:40:31Z")
At the Salvation Army, where I work, we get the cast offs of yesteryear and some from yesterday. Someone must have died or they came back in style for a nanosecond and everyone else missed it, but we got in about 10 dickey’s, in a variety of colors and fabric. The highlight was saying, " Ooooh, a velvet dickey!" The look I got from one of the black twentysomething guys was AWESOME. Then I explained what a dickey was. And then I told him about rubbers. Velvet Dickey would be another great band name. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/51 "2009-12-09T13:41:26Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > I laughed and laughed. Tremendous. She must be fun to go shopping with! Surprisingly, I avoid shopping with her as much as possible. LOL. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/52 "2009-12-09T13:46:13Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Someone must have died or they came back in style for a nanosecond and everyone else missed it, but we got in about 10 dickey’s, in a variety of colors and fabric. Please don’t tell my mom. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/53 "2009-12-09T14:54:17Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > And then I told him about rubbers. > . A British friend of mine once spent quite a bit of time walking around Staples, asking people where the rubbers were. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/54 "2009-12-09T17:36:24Z")
I assume the boyfriend’s lack of style is tied into his lack of funds, as I know he was quite the whore back in the day, and he really wouldn’t have done too well with the ladies had he been wearing his daily uniform of denim shorts, white t-shirt that’s one size too large and black sneakers. Every. Day. The shorts I can kinda sorta live with since they at least fit and he does have awesome legs. The shirt is annoying due to it’s oversizedness, but it’s not like it’s ghetto style, just a little too large. But for the love of god, we live in Florida. Get some flip flops or sandals or something!Never mind that my feet sizzle just looking at him, only the fashion challenged wear sneakers with shorts in the middle of the Florida summer. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/55 "2009-12-09T17:48:14Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > But for the love of god, we live in Florida. Get some flip flops or sandals or something!Never mind that my feet sizzle just looking at him, only the fashion challenged wear sneakers with shorts in the middle of the Florida summer. Does he have skanky toes? ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/56 "2009-12-09T17:51:09Z")
A friend of mine wore denim capri pants once. Not so bad, you say? Well, her pants were trimmed at the bottom with little pink puffballs! Another friend occasionally wears spray-painted green dayglo sneakers. These are both women well into their 50s, by the way. I never say anything, though. I figure it’s not my business what someone else wears. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/57 "2009-12-09T20:00:36Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > You need to get him one of those rivet-gun-like machines to sparkle and spangle that baby up! Send a picture of him all tricked out to Oprah, and I bet she will think of a subject to get him on her show. The Bedazzler makes everything better. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/58 "2009-12-09T20:05:12Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Now, see, if we bring my mother in to the picture, I’ve got a story. > > I am in my 30s and happen to be, well, buxom. (Ok, very buxom. This is not a surgical result. I grew in to them quite naturally. ) I’m kinda tall (5’9"ish flat footed, but I usually wear heels) and ‘fluffy’. I also hate anything tight around my short neck, so I usually avoid turtlenecks, high collars, etc. I just happen to prefer something with a scoop or boat neck. However, being buxom, this often results in at least the top of my cleavage line being visible. > > THIS does not work for my mother - a 5’3" former missionary and quite conservative dresser. She loves turtlenecks and ankle length skirts, preferably worn at the same time. This reminded me of the first time I went shopping with my mom after I graduated university (needed some clothes without holes to wear to my first ‘real’ job). Background: my mom is a bit of a goody-goody. She can’t go in the out door or talk about anything on the dirty side (not just to us kids, I have confirmation from her buddies, too). I tried on a few things and was getting mighty frustrated that everything that fit the rest of me was too small to contain my more-than-ample busom. My mom, being much smaller in that area than I am, asks what I am doing in the changeroom and what all the frustrated noises are about. (At this point, I am beyond frustrated.) I come out in a shirt that looks great from boob level down but that my breasts are barely contained in to demonstrate the problem. All she says is: ‘I wish I had those.’ In utter shock, I get back in the change room, get dressed and try to leave the store… …when my mom buys the shirt for me and makes me promise to wear it but never in front of my dad. Ever since then, I always bring my mom shopping if I want something on the risque side of the fence. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/59 "2009-12-09T20:27:42Z")
**Mrs. Fear** refuses to let me wear my Member’s Only jacket anywhere. In return for not wearing it, I made her promise not to throw it out. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437/60 "2009-12-09T20:47:44Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Then I explained what a dickey was. > > And then I told him about rubbers. What a coincidence, we were just talking about dickeys the other day. A friend was in a store and a guy was trying to promote clip-on collars. Not clip-on ties, clip-on _collars_. So you could wear a comfortable regular t-shirt under your boat sweater, but convince your boss you had a dress shirt underneath. That got us wondering if they still make dickeys. As for rubbers: I inherited a pair from my dad. I really liked them too. Unfortunately, I tried wearing them in the winter too often and they kind of got killed by road salt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-wear-that-ill-disown-you/520437.md?page=4)