# If you were a hundred million dollars... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 4, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325 "2011-01-04T06:37:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kilmore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a6a055/32.png) [@Kilmore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilmore)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/1 "2011-01-04T06:37:57Z")
…how would you like to be spent? ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/2 "2011-01-04T06:41:15Z")
Being slid between breasts and down g strings one hundred million times in strip clubs strikes me as a pretty good life. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/3 "2011-01-04T06:53:08Z")
Well, the obvious had been taken, so onto the obscure: Scrooge McDuck’s swimming pool vault ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/4 "2011-01-04T07:27:17Z")
> [@drastic\_quench](#): > > Scrooge McDuck’s swimming pool vault Shouldn’t that be Vala Mal Doran’s (or some other hot female rogue’s) gold coin collection? ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/5 "2011-01-04T12:47:12Z")
As a high-profile kidnap victim’s ransom money, as large bills in a briefcase with all the subsequent car-chases and final bit where the briefcase gets flung open during a fight on a private jet and I billow out of the jet door as the greedy criminal cries “Nooooooo!”. Preferably. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/6 "2011-01-04T17:20:05Z")
> [@villa](#): > > Being slid between breasts and down g strings one hundred million times in strip clubs strikes me as a pretty good life. This. But if the strippers wanted to open a couple of orphanages in Bangladesh afterward that’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/7 "2011-01-04T17:22:43Z")
Really? I’m the one who gets to say “hookers and blow?” I thought for sure that would be taken before I even opened the thread. So. Hookers. And blow. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/8 "2011-01-04T18:17:33Z")
Supplying the daily needs of the immortal **Annie-Xmas** ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/9 "2011-01-04T18:41:32Z")
Psssst. **Annie-Xmas** , you misspelled **kaylasdad99**. _That’s_ what the money at stake in tonight’s Mega-Millions drawing wants. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/10 "2011-01-04T18:47:18Z")
Ponzi schemes. What? I’m a fucking dollar bill. What the hell do I know? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/11 "2011-01-04T19:19:07Z")
I’d want to be made into a hundred million framed portraits of George Washington. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/12 "2011-01-04T19:37:54Z")
Down payment on any new Ferrari. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/13 "2011-01-04T20:18:34Z")
In a drug dealer’s attic being eaten by rats. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_Stimulus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Digital\_Stimulus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_Stimulus)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-hundred-million-dollars/566325/14 "2011-01-04T21:05:36Z")
Be spread out among a million stock brokers, Hollywood moguls, etc. in the 80s. Assuming $100 bills are used as coke-delivery devices, it’d be a hell of a contact high. 😃