# If you were a modern day pirate, would you dress like Jack Sparrow? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 15, 2009, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146 "2009-04-15T04:38:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/1 "2009-04-15T04:38:43Z")
I would, just to throw my victims off guard and mess with their heads a little bit. And also just because I think it looks cool. I would also make my crew dress in full 17th Century pirate garb - puffy shirt, velvet coats, big feathered hats, maybe an eye patch here and there. ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/2 "2009-04-15T04:45:39Z")
I totally would. I probably wouldn’t go with the eye patch, because I value depth perception too much, but the other stuff, yeah. Anything to maybe make the snipers gunning for me miss. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/3 "2009-04-15T05:25:42Z")
I would have two peg legs, two hooks for both of my hands, two eye patches, and a parrot on each of my shoulders. The ultimate pirate. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/4 "2009-04-15T11:50:46Z")
No, that would just be the most symmetrical pirate. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/5 "2009-04-15T12:11:32Z")
These “modern day pirates” are shameful! Where is the skull and cross bones? The flouncy sleeves? The lit matches in the beard (Blackbeard), the chests of treasure? This lot need to be called hijackers, theives or dirty rotten bastards but they are clearly NOT pirates! Where are the planks and bottles of rum! ---
**Author:** ![PatriotGrrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9dc877/32.png) [@PatriotGrrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotGrrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/6 "2009-04-15T12:31:38Z")
At the least I would use the skull and crossbones symbol. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/7 "2009-04-15T12:39:38Z")
Not only would I dress like Jack Sparrow, I would ACT like Jack Sparrow, that would really screw with them! ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/8 "2009-04-15T12:47:53Z")
“You will always remember this as the day you _almost_ caught Jack Sparrow!” I spent so long searching, trying to get this quote right, that I missed the edit window! (Now someone will tell me it’s not right.) ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/9 "2009-04-15T12:51:32Z")
Arrrgh, it’s time fer me show, “Queer Eye for the Pirate Guy.” ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/10 "2009-04-15T12:54:38Z")
Yes. Should I survive long enough to be captured, it should help my insanity plea get past the judge. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/11 "2009-04-15T12:54:43Z")
Apologies for the triple post, but how is it that the pirates of history have become so romanticized? Why do we look at Jack Sparrow and think COOL! arrr me 'earties! Obviously there is nothing particularly endearing about a real pirate. The Robin Hood effect perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/12 "2009-04-15T12:58:02Z")
I’m pretty sure modern day pirates aren’t LARPing. They just rob, kidnap and murder people. You don’t need a specific costume for that. So, no, if I decided to become a vicious criminal, I wouldn’t dress up as a fictional 18th century character. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/13 "2009-04-15T13:22:56Z")
> [@Baldwin](#): > > So, no, if I decided to become a vicious criminal, I wouldn’t dress up as a fictional 18th century character. Fictional? They have been romanticised but they were certainly not fictional. They were nasty bastards. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/14 "2009-04-15T13:39:21Z")
> [@calm\_kiwi](#): > > Fictional? They have been romanticised but they were certainly not fictional. They were nasty bastards. Jack Sparrow was fictional, not pirates in general. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/15 "2009-04-15T13:49:50Z")
Well, I dressed up as the Hamburglar when I robbed that McDonald’s at gunpoint, so I don’t see why Jack Sparrow would be out of the question. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/16 "2009-04-15T13:49:57Z")
I’d probably go with garb optimized for ship boarding and other real-life pirate activities. The cosplay would be later when I’m busy enjoying my ill-gotten gains. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/17 "2009-04-15T13:52:36Z")
It’s tough for me to decide. Do I go with the [cape](http://www.sffaudio.com/images/large/GOLDENRECORDS20000LeaguesUnderTheSeaLP500.jpg), the [long coat](http://www.nexternal.com/dreamland/images/captNemo.jpg), [something exotic](http://www.sillof.com/images/Customs/LOEG/C_loeg-nemo.jpg), or just stick with the [traditional corporate look](http://www.digitalmedusa.com/sgettis/word/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/nemo.gif)? ---
**Author:** ![joebuck20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/74df32/32.png) [@joebuck20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joebuck20)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/18 "2009-04-15T14:05:59Z")
> [@calm\_kiwi](#): > > These “modern day pirates” are shameful! Where is the skull and cross bones? The flouncy sleeves? The lit matches in the beard (Blackbeard), the chests of treasure? > > This lot need to be called hijackers, theives or dirty rotten bastards but they are clearly NOT pirates! Where are the planks and bottles of rum! Tell me about it. From what I’ve seen on CNN, it looks like they’re just wearing slacks and plain, pastel colored, short-sleeved, button-up shirts. Where are the theatrics? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/19 "2009-04-15T14:21:56Z")
Kelvar. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146/20 "2009-04-15T14:36:14Z")
[quote=“1920s Style “Death Ray”, post:11, topic:493146”] Apologies for the triple post, but how is it that the pirates of history have become so romanticized? Why do we look at Jack Sparrow and think COOL! arrr me 'earties! Obviously there is nothing particularly endearing about a real pirate. The Robin Hood effect perhaps? [/QUOTE] I was having this exact same discussion about Medieval characters like kings and knights, with a friend, a while back. The answer is, enough time has passed that we remember them as archetypical “characters” (colored largely, if not entirely, by their depictions in pop culture) instead of actual real people who did actual real things in real life. The prototypical “king,” with a crown, a big beard, a red-and-ermine cloak and robe, etc - this is now just an image used for comic relief. The Burger King “King,” etc. We don’t even think about what it really means - you just see it and it’s “a king.” But in reality, in history, these guys were basically just dictators! Sure, some of them were more just rulers than others; but all of them were essentially autocrats who did whatever they wanted to, because they could. Plenty of them, especially the English monarchs who the stereotypical image of the “king” is based on, directly or indirectly led to the killings of untold masses of people, usually over religious wars or petty territorial claims. But does the average person remember that? No! They just see that guy in the red and ermine robe and the crown with the beard and think, “Hamburgers!” Same thing with “knights.” Our perception of knights has been romanticized by all the folk tales about them, and by movies and books; now the knight, too, has become a clip art symbol, an archetype. What was a knight, actually? In reality, a knight was anyone who the king said was a knight. They ranged from highly dedicated and loyal soldiers, to completely unqualified, incompetent, or cruel bastards; but all of them were basically knights as a result of nepotism alone. You were either born into it, or you weren’t. A lot of knights were completely treacherous, murdering, backstabbing bastards - but those aren’t the ones you think about when you see a clip-art image of a knight on an ad for a car dealership, or whatever. Now the word “knight” is synonymous with honor, decency, virtue, etc., as if every real-life knight in history actually embodied those values. It’s because enough time has passed that we only remember the good and not the bad. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-modern-day-pirate-would-you-dress-like-jack-sparrow/493146.md?page=2)