# If You Were a Muppet...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 21, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144 "2001-01-21T18:45:30Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/1 "2001-01-21T18:45:30Z")
I was reading the “What is it about the Muppets” thread by Persephone and was inspired to ask if you were a Muppet, which one would you be and just what would this say about you as a person?
Me?
**Kermit**. I think he’s the most normal of the muppets, He’s an average guy in a less than average environmentand surrounded by some really strange people.
Yep… that’s me.
Does that mean that Lola is Miss Piggy?
I am so going to die.
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### Author:  [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/2 "2001-01-21T18:55:34Z")
Dude, Whammo is _so_ Fozzie Bear! 😃
Actually, we did this in chat one night. Someone said I reminded them of one of those old guys that sit up in the balcony and heckle everyone.
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### Author:  [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/3 "2001-01-21T19:20:09Z")
Oscar the grouch. Whatever my best intentions concerning my surroundings at home or work, I always seem to be living in a garbage can. With a convenient slammable lid, of course.
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### Author:  [@meek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meek)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/4 "2001-01-21T19:23:38Z")
… the Snufaluf…
the Snufalufi
smufalofag
aw crap
big bird
🙂
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### Author:  [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/5 "2001-01-21T19:25:00Z")
Lou Zealand, the guy who throws the fish. I’m not sure why, but I always identify with him. Feynn thinks of me more as Bunsen Honeydew.
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### Author:  [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/6 "2001-01-21T19:27:16Z")
i’d just be _damn cute_
I’d like to be Animal, too, cause he gets to smash stuff
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/7 "2001-01-21T19:31:32Z")
Grover. Or Telly.
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### Author:  [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/8 "2001-01-21T19:34:01Z")
I’d have to be Fozzie as I have an endless collection of really bad jokes.
That, of course, would allow me to have a secret Jedi alter ego!
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### Author:  [@PRNYouth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PRNYouth)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/9 "2001-01-21T20:13:14Z")
I’d have to go with **Kermit** as well, although with a tad of **Sam the Eagle** (I’m conservative) and a dash of **Gonzo the Great** (I’m also a little wacky).
And just for the record, it’s _ **Lew** _ Zealand.
[sup](Yes, I’m the same one who corrected Fozzie’s name [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1073416#post1073416) – I’m a major Muppet fan, and some thought went into choosing those names, so I like to see 'em spelled right. So shoot me. Or do the Crazy Harry thing and blow me up.;))[/sup]
😃
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### Author:  [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/10 "2001-01-21T20:24:09Z")
I’ve always identified with Kermit. He’s a competent frog. Placed in a normal environment, he’d get along swimmingly and cope. If The Muppet Show were taking place in a normal theater, he’d have that thing winning Tonys within weeks.
However, it’s _not_ a normal theater and he _isn’t_ around normal people and even though he has the order of the show all set up and the guest is safe in his dressing room and the first act is on the stage, Fozzie wants to try out his new routine and Gonzo accidentally blew off half of the roof with that big cannon and a troupe of dancing crawfish has invaded the backstage area and Scooter can’t find the costumes for the next number and Piggy is getting jealous again and to top it off Sweetums may have actually _eaten_ the guest who was supposed to be safe in the dressing room and **Kermit just can’t take it anymore** and lets go with a big arm-waving _scream_.
Direct parallels can be drawn with my own life.
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### Author:  [@Mamapotomus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mamapotomus)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/11 "2001-01-21T20:24:25Z")
I’d have to say **Miss Piggy**. I get wayyyyy to bent out of shape over goofy stuff and tend to make a doofus out of myself.
If I could change my personality, I’d choose **Janis** , the groovy mellow girl in the band.
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### Author:  [@Quadzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quadzilla)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/12 "2001-01-21T20:43:55Z")
I’d be a smaller version of Snuffy Snuffalupagus. I frequently start a conversation, only to trail off and ask whoever I’m talking with to remind me what we were talking about… I’m also one of the biggest klutzes around.
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### Author:  [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/13 "2001-01-21T20:44:19Z")
Grover, for sure.
I am cute and loveable, natch.
I always screw stuff up when I try to do it.
The little purple man is always annoyed at me, even when I play my guitar for him in the park.
I don’t see the fly in the soup.
And, when I fix a computer, I always use the magic words of “Wubba Wubba Wubba”
pat
Ps:
I can’t fly, either.
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### Author:  [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/14 "2001-01-21T20:52:39Z")
Pepe the Prawn. He is SO cool.
[bad French accent]
“If you tell him, I will spank you. I will spank you like a bad bad donkey, okay?”
[/bad French accent]
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### Author:  [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/15 "2001-01-21T21:49:07Z")
My printmaking TA is soooooo Fozzie bear because of all the bad jokes we have to endure. 🙂
I think I would be Gonzo. I really am a kooky person and half the time what I say goes over people’s heads and all I get is a bunch of puzzled looks. I don’t have a Bernice the Chicken though
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### Author:  [@Totoro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totoro)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/16 "2001-01-21T21:52:37Z")
I never remember the guys name, but he’s the Rasta-type guy with the the purple dreads and pink skin. I find myself to be a lot like him. I wear a lot of hawaiin shirts…
But sometimes, I act like a little bit of Bunsen, and a little bit of Beaker… sometimes…
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/17 "2001-01-21T21:53:25Z")
Probably Scooter… Don’t know why, but I always seemed to identify more with him as a kid… kinda there, trying to help, usually in the background rather than the limelight…
That kind of thing.
TruePisces
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### Author:  [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/18 "2001-01-21T22:03:28Z")
I would be the Cookie Monster (I’m afraid I dunno if he has any other names)
I just love cookies.
:eek:
Kindof like the cookie monster
Rick
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### Author:  [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/19 "2001-01-21T22:10:44Z")
I would be the Count from Seasme Street (don’t know if that counts, but they look like muppets).
The Count is such a pimp too. My friends and I came up with this one night when we were not totally in this reality.
“One bitchslap. Ha! Ha! Ha! Two bitchslap. Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Guess you had to be there.
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### Author:  [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)
#### Post date: [January 21, 2001, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-muppet/51144/20 "2001-01-21T22:13:08Z")
Definitely Dr. Teeth. He’s cool and he’s with the band.
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