# If you were a toy, what toy would you be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232 "2001-08-26T22:22:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/21 "2001-08-27T02:58:00Z")
One of those Playschool pianos. ---
**Author:** ![shell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@shell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shell)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/22 "2001-08-27T03:38:21Z")
Silly Putty. ---
**Author:** ![Never\_Say\_Dice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee59a6/32.png) [@Never\_Say\_Dice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Never_Say_Dice)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/23 "2001-08-27T03:55:47Z")
My first answer was going to be legos, but now I realize it could only be a teddy bear. Polar bear, preferably, with German lederhosen and hiking hat ---
**Author:** ![Sultan\_Kinkari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7bcc69/32.png) [@Sultan\_Kinkari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sultan_Kinkari)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/24 "2001-08-27T04:24:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by wishbone \* > > \*\*I’d be a balloon. \*\* > > Hey! No begging for straight lines! 😃 > > jayjay \*\* I didn’t know I had. What do you mean? ---
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/25 "2001-08-27T04:31:18Z")
An action figure. Preferably a Transformer. But not any of the fancy-schmancy Transformers, like the dinosaur ones. Just a plain old vehicle Transformer. A minivan, if possible. MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE! ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/26 "2001-08-27T04:49:19Z")
A **dildo** ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/27 "2001-08-27T05:08:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wishbone \* > \*\*I didn’t know I had. What do you mean? \*\* Heh…goes like this: Wishbone: I want to be a balloon. Unsuspecting reply: Why’s that? Wishbone: So someone will blow me. Of course, I have a gutter mind… jayjay ---
**Author:** ![flickerwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/13edae/32.png) [@flickerwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flickerwolf)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/28 "2001-08-27T06:12:36Z")
Paddleball. My fave toy, of course. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/29 "2001-08-27T07:10:44Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jayjay \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by wishbone \* > > \*\*I’d be a balloon. \*\* > > Hey! No begging for straight lines!:Djayjay \*\* I didn’t know I had. What do you mean? \*\* [/QUOTE] For me, it was the combination of the sig and the wish to be a balloon, that i found amusing. The glory of the world is passing, and ususally ballons do not last very long . ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/30 "2001-08-27T07:17:14Z")
I look up and see my friend Okielady, I agree that she is indeed a Furby. Me? I’d be plasticene which is a type of non-hardening modelling clay. Plasticene can be anything you want it to be and it is indeed a soothing experience to work the clay in your hands… allowing the heat of your hands to soften the clay to a point where it is workable. Of course, in the right hands the non-hardening properties wouldn’t apply. Did I just say that? I’ve officially been here too long or maybe just long enough to have my virtuous nature twisted into something diabolical and perverted. Lola is gonna love this… ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/31 "2001-08-27T14:08:43Z")
I’d be one of those wind-up cymbal-clashing monkey toys. Probably one with glowing red eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/32 "2001-08-27T14:33:06Z")
a tiger battle beast with Fire symbol. heh heh heh, fire! ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/33 "2001-08-27T14:45:40Z")
LEGO, dammit. LEGO. Not “Legos.” ---
**Author:** ![tritone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@tritone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tritone)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/34 "2001-08-27T15:44:19Z")
A glow-stick! Either that or a superball… or maybe a bubble-blowing set (no double-entendre intended 😉 ) I’m in a good mood today! ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/35 "2001-08-27T15:55:16Z")
I would have to be a Transformer, definitely… and a specific one (Grimlock, one of the Dinobots). What can I say - he turned into a friggin’ **TYRANNOSAURUS REX**! (When you’re a ten-year-old kid in the 1980s, that was about the coolest toy in the known universe.) ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/36 "2001-08-27T16:07:04Z")
I’d be a [Big Cuddyl Cthulhu](http://www.toyvault.com/Cthulhu/index.html). [sub]I make no money if they ever actually sell those thing, but I still think it’s really cool and everyone should know about it.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/37 "2001-08-27T16:08:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ultrafilter \* > \*\*[Big Cuddyl Cthulhu](http://www.toyvault.com/Cthulhu/index.html). > > \*\* Or even a “Cuddly” one. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/38 "2001-08-27T18:10:03Z")
I’ll be the third **Transformer** in this thread, old-fashioned, half-metal, and utterly unposeable…along the lines of **Wheeljack** or **Perceptor** … That, or an inappropriately realistic toy gun (y’know, WITHOUT the day-glo orange muzzle thing…) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/39 "2001-08-27T18:18:28Z")
There is only one choice for me. \*\*Evil Clown Doll ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232/40 "2001-08-27T18:25:13Z")
I’m buying one of those plush Cthulhus when they come out. I want have it devour all the beanie babies I can find. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-a-toy-what-toy-would-you-be/78232.md?page=3)