# If you were able to collect all human ejaculate across the world... **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 19, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283 "2012-10-19T22:22:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/21 "2012-10-20T15:47:10Z")
Does this “ejaculate” include intercourse or only masturbation? If it includes intercourse, you’d have to magically extract the semen from their new bodily locations. Don’t most men produce ejaculate at least twice a week, as much as seven times a day when they’re 15 to 25? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/22 "2012-10-20T16:04:57Z")
So could you float or swim in such a pool ? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/23 "2012-10-20T17:17:57Z")
Imagine the fry-up you could have! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/24 "2012-10-20T17:36:16Z")
> [@GreenElf](#): > > Does this “ejaculate” include intercourse or only masturbation? If it includes intercourse, you’d have to magically extract the semen from their new bodily locations. Don’t most men produce ejaculate at least twice a week, as much as seven times a day when they’re 15 to 25? Not to mention, you’d raise hell with the birthrates for a while. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/25 "2012-10-20T17:37:45Z")
Also, think of this. According to statistics, a new child is born somewhere in the world about once every 4.2 seconds… so that means at least one guy around the world is ejaculating every 4.2 seconds. Now think to yourself, what percentage of ejaculations (masturbatory OR intercourse) actually end up resulting in pregnancies? ---
**Author:** ![nomdenet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4af34b/32.png) [@nomdenet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nomdenet)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/26 "2012-10-20T17:51:23Z")
These Microsoft interview questions have moved on a bit since my day, that’s for sure. What’s wrong with “how many TV sets are there in Kentucky?” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/27 "2012-10-20T18:14:02Z")
[Sister thread to this one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669373) ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/28 "2012-10-20T19:08:42Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > So could you float or swim in such a pool ? [Non-Newtonian liquid](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Newtonian_fluid). You could [walk.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2XQ97XHjVw&feature=youtube_gdata_player) ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/29 "2012-10-20T19:11:09Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Imagine the fry-up you could have! Calling **Mangetout**. I’ll keep bringing this up until I’m disabused of the notion that he is, relatively speaking, knowledgable about this. It is not a personal dig. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Michael63129](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@Michael63129](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael63129)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/30 "2012-10-20T19:50:53Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Also, think of this. According to statistics, a new child is born somewhere in the world about once every 4.2 seconds… so that means at least one guy around the world is ejaculating every 4.2 seconds. > > Now think to yourself, what percentage of ejaculations (masturbatory OR intercourse) actually end up resulting in pregnancies? Even if you use the VERY conservative “once a week”\* and apply it over a man’s lifetime, say 50 years, that comes out to over 2,500 ejaculations, so I’d say about 1-in-1,000 or less based on the average number of children per family, maybe even as low as 1-in-10,000, especially with the trend towards smaller families. Also, even unprotected sex has only about a 5% success rate; even just before ovulation, a women only has a 25% chance of conceiving. \*FWIW, the average frequency of sex is [2-3 times a week](http://www.healthkicker.com/738503515/sex-whats-normal-for-couples/) and masturbation is [3-5 times a week, for a total 5-7 times a week](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation#Benefits) (for both sexes; men probably do both more often than women), so it looks like I am not unusual in thinking that once a week is a sign of low sex drive. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/31 "2012-10-20T20:45:08Z")
So if we just go with the estimate that 1 in 5,000 (I think that’s conservative, really) ejaculations across the world results in pregnancies, that means that every second, 1190 guys across the world have ejaculated! 1190 cums/second \* 5mL/cum = 5950 mL/second = 5.95 Liters of cum per second! 141,442.66 liters / 5.95 L/s = 23,771 seconds or 6.6 hours. Not too far off from the first calculation. Same order of magnitude anyway! It seems very likely that it would be quite possible to fill several backyard swimming pools in a day if it were possible to collect it all. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/32 "2012-10-20T21:40:54Z")
> [@Iggy](#): > > Random yahoo page said a backyard pool holds about 185 cubic yards = 141,442.66 liters. > > Wikipedia notes volume of ejaculate varies widely between 0.1 and 10ml. For the sale of argument say 5ml is average. > > Given those volumes that would require 282,885,832 ejaculations to fill one pool. > > Roughly 7 billion humans, half males so 3.5 billion males. Not all are old enough yet to be capable of contributing to the project or young enough to be capable of producing. Being very generous, there are about 1.158 billion males either under age 15 or over age 65. (Couldn’t 'find demographic numbers for a younger age group, say \<10) Leaving 2.342 billion males in peak position to contribute. > > For argument’s sake, suppose each male in our peak group only ejaculates once every week… > > You could fill 11.82 swimming pools every day at that rate, or one about every 2 hours and 2 minutes. I’d like to say, well done! I felt like your math was off by a factor of ten, but I got the same answer with the calculator. That’s a lotta jizz, dude… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/33 "2012-10-20T21:48:32Z")
Oh, the smell… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/34 "2012-10-20T22:49:40Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Talk about a circle-jerk! More like a sphere-jerk. > [@Michael63129](#): > > For me it is about once a day, and I am 27 (it was also about the same when I was 15-19); once a week is like what I would think 90 year olds would do. Don’t know about 90 year-olds, but this 67-year-old is getting more than you. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/35 "2012-10-20T23:39:38Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > More like a sphere-jerk. > > Don’t know about 90 year-olds, but this 67-year-old is getting more than you. we’ll be sure to let you know once we find someone who’s impressed. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/36 "2012-10-20T23:43:54Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > [Sister thread to this one.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669373) I thought you’d be referring to [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14128941#post14128941). ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/37 "2012-10-20T23:55:04Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I thought you’d be referring to [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14128941#post14128941). Is there REALLY nothing new under the sun? God damn! Well there goes my business idea ☹ Seems like people are already filling pools with cum! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/38 "2012-10-21T00:40:48Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > we’ll be sure to let you know once we find someone who’s impressed. I don’t care who’s impressed; I just don’t like younger people making assumptions about older people. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/39 "2012-10-21T03:46:01Z")
**If you were able to collect all human ejaculate across the world…** See, this is why I like coming on these boards when I’m half shit faced. It gives me ideas for the goofy “Weird Al” style song lyrics I post [Here](http://www.whatfreaks.com/) and [Here](http://www.amiright.com/). [“I’d like to collect the worlds ejaculate, and keep it in a pool…”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taqLEjCVTdo) :):p;):D:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283/40 "2012-10-21T12:00:18Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Also, think of this. According to statistics, a new child is born somewhere in the world about once every 4.2 seconds… so that means at least one guy around the world is ejaculating every 4.2 seconds. And boy is he tired. And sore. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-able-to-collect-all-human-ejaculate-across-the-world/638283.md?page=3)