# If you were arrested for a high-profile crime, what about you would the media have a field day with? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 22, 2012, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050 "2012-07-22T16:32:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/41 "2012-07-22T23:07:13Z")
Shit, what _wouldn’t_ they have a field day with? Mid 40s, never married, professionally unemployed, living with elderly parent, clinically depressed, autism spectrum, collects weird old stuff, gigs of pix of barefoot women…honestly, I’m a human time bomb, except that I hate all weapons and explosives. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/42 "2012-07-22T23:11:16Z")
Eh, pretty much anything can be a weapon with a little creativity. Particularly had tools – may I suggest pipe wrenches, chain saws, and power drills? ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/43 "2012-07-22T23:11:57Z")
I grew up in the same city as two of my cousins, so I’m close to them despite the large age difference. The youngest is a girl and 12 years younger than me, and she’s just turned 14. There’s a yearly tournament held in the city that I’ve since moved to, and she’s played in it for the last several years. I’ve attended three years running. I can only imagine how somebody could spin _that_ if they really wanted to. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/44 "2012-07-22T23:43:25Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Are you kidding? If you ever go postal, the _first_ thing the media will latch on to, is how it’s really the lion’s fault for biting you that time! You’re right! _updates list of excuses_ _not that I’m planning anything I’ll need excuses for, honest_ ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/45 "2012-07-22T23:56:33Z")
The BDSM, without question. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/46 "2012-07-23T00:08:47Z")
> [@Silvorange](#): > > Oh, lord. I’m a LARPer with a history of mental problems, and I am in costume in half or more of my pictures online. You had me at LARPer. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/47 "2012-07-23T00:38:34Z")
I work with those horribly vicious pit bull dogs. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/48 "2012-07-23T01:29:44Z")
I was going to say, “oh nothing, really.”. Then I looked at my screensaver, my iPhone, the stuffed animal across the room, the makeup mirror in my bag. I would be the Hello Kitty Killer. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/49 "2012-07-23T01:46:03Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > I’m that nice, quiet guy who lives next door and never causes any trouble. That’s pretty much me there as well. Plus I am a former US Army Paratrooper, so you know that just makes me some kind of highly trained combat expert. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/50 "2012-07-23T01:46:06Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I was going to say, “oh nothing, really.”. Then I looked at my screensaver, my iPhone, the stuffed animal across the room, the makeup mirror in my bag. > > I would be the Hello Kitty Killer. ☹ [And of course…](http://www.riflegear.com/blogimages/KittyRifle.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/51 "2012-07-23T03:57:37Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > You had me at LARPer. > mmm I’ve always said that a LARP would be an excellent place for a mass murder. The screaming, the blood…that’s what we do anyway. I don’t know how long it would take for somebody to notice that it was real. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/52 "2012-07-23T04:58:30Z")
Probably all the intricately simulated WMDs I’ve built [for my flight sim], or the weird fanfic. …or, really, [all the threads I’ve started on the SDMB](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?searchid=8315736). Jeez, looking at them now, even _I’M_ creeped out. Y’all really put up with me? ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/53 "2012-07-23T06:36:34Z")
Has participated in gatherings known as Left Coast Crime. (It’s a mystery fan convention.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/54 "2012-07-23T11:30:59Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > I’ll join you in that basket b/c OH LORD so was I. > The media will doubtlessly zero in on my Weird Al collection. I want my seat facing ahead, please. Ownership of sharp weapons (kitchen knives; a set of chinese swords which don’t pretend to be anything but Made in China, one of which can only be used as a club because the wood sort of inflated during the time I lived 2 blocks from the Delaware; a very small dagger with a very-damaged handle). Used to belong to the South Florida Renaissance Society. MMORPGs, Diablo prove violent nature. Civ, Alpha Centauri and so forth would be used as evidence of “plotting to take over the world”. IT person. Everybody knows we’re all hackers. Or is it crackers that are the bad ones nowadays? Anyway, bad people. Ownership of plastic dice which do not have six-and-exactly-six sides. Ownership of several 6d with unusual sides (such as a goblin). Moves frequently. Rarely stays long in a job. (I’m a consultant) Chemical Engineer. Yep, I know how to make things go BOOM. In fact, I’d say about half of my college courses were dedicated to “how to do [this] without causing an explosion”. Basque. Well, Navarrese, let’s not go into definitions. They’d probably drag out both my Carlista (which would likely be called Fascistas, sigh) and Anarquista ancestors. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/55 "2012-07-23T12:11:24Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Schizophrenia, no doubt. > > Yes, I’ve beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent. > > I’m not harmful to others. I won’t hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else. > [@EmilyG](#): > > Schizophrenia, no doubt. > > Yes, I’ve beeen diagnosed with it. Yes, many, many murderers and other violent criminals in the news lately have it, and it worries me, because it makes the public see all people with schizophrenia as violent. > > I’m not harmful to others. I won’t hurt any of you, I promise. Or anyone else. If the double post was intentional, brilliantly played. If not, well. . . ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/56 "2012-07-23T14:10:07Z")
Librarian. Quiet, keep to myself. Keep the curtains drawn. I walk a lot. I can hear the neighbors “we used to see her just walking and walking, all the time. Always alone…” Most (though not all, thank goodness) of my social interaction is online. I have a set of [Cards Against Humanity](http://www.amazon.com/Cards-Against-Humanity/dp/B004S8F7QM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343052347&sr=8-1&keywords=cards+against+humanity). ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/57 "2012-07-23T14:27:18Z")
Live by myself with a bunch of animals on a farm. Who knows what (or who???) I have stashed away in my wracketty old barn that’s not visible from the road… StG ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/58 "2012-07-23T14:35:16Z")
I suspect they would make a big deal about my heavy involvement in church leadership, [del]and the bodies buried in the backyard[/del]. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/59 "2012-07-23T14:48:34Z")
My library book history and my Stephen King collection. ---
**Author:** ![kmshrader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b782af/32.png) [@kmshrader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kmshrader)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2012, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050/60 "2012-07-23T14:51:15Z")
> [@Lsura](#): > > I have a set of [Cards Against Humanity](http://www.amazon.com/Cards-Against-Humanity/dp/B004S8F7QM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343052347&sr=8-1&keywords=cards+against+humanity). I clicked the link, then found their website. I will very soon (as soon as they’re back in stock) have a set of these. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-arrested-for-a-high-profile-crime-what-about-you-would-the-media-have-a-field-day-with/629050.md?page=4)