# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/1 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")
Ok, you’ve just been named the next Pope. What papal name do you choose? I’d pick Innocent. I’d be Pope Innocent the XIV. [Here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_popes) is a list of the popes. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/2 "2009-03-12T03:32:54Z")
Why would you pick Innocent? ---
**Author:** ![wunderkammer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed8c4c/32.png) [@wunderkammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wunderkammer)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/3 "2009-03-12T03:44:09Z")
In the very vanishingly event that I am elected Pope, I definitely won’t go with one of the popular names. They seem to have more baggage than I care to deal with. I might go with Dionysius II so that I can set a more debauched tone and perhaps attract some cultists. Or perhaps I’ll call myself Lando II because 1.) he is apparently “the most unimportant pope” and 2.) I am a huge nerd. I want to see fanboys go nuts throughout Christendom. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/4 "2009-03-12T03:48:17Z")
Irving. Just to mess with everyone’s mind. ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/5 "2009-03-12T03:48:30Z")
Ideseylurmhan. Toot toot! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/6 "2009-03-12T03:52:42Z")
Elmo Pope elmo needs a tickle… yeeeeeeeessssss! ---
**Author:** ![DaphneBlack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daphneblack/32/5389_2.png) [@DaphneBlack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaphneBlack)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/7 "2009-03-12T03:57:49Z")
In a world where they thought I, a female Jew, should be elected pope, who am I to turn them down? I’d be Popette Silvester. I’ve spent a lot of time with Sil I for my dissertation, I’ve come to enjoy his boyish charms and his ability to slay dragons. Plus I wouldn’t challenge any rabbis to any duels. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/8 "2009-03-12T04:09:36Z")
Papa Pope Papa ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/9 "2009-03-12T04:20:22Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > Irving. Just to mess with everyone’s mind. You’d have to be Irving I. Gotta’ have a number. Popes got numbers. Goes with the funny hat. Me, I’d go with Hilarius II. I love that name. It’s … well … Hilarius! ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/10 "2009-03-12T05:01:45Z")
Pope Pip. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/11 "2009-03-12T05:16:06Z")
Biggus Dickus. I wouldn’t be a very good pope… ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/12 "2009-03-12T05:17:53Z")
Pope Schlomo. So I could quote that “Critic” episode–“No, it’s the Vatican. And I’m Pope Schlomo!” ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/13 "2009-03-12T05:26:09Z")
I’m Pope Rod Towers, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/14 "2009-03-12T05:35:00Z")
Well, I’ve always been a Rex Harrison fan, so I’ll probably go with Pope Julius II…the II. In other words, Julius IV. 😃 (Or, since it’s the 21st century, how about Julius II[sup]2[/sup] ? ) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/15 "2009-03-12T05:45:20Z")
George Ringo The First. That is the First to say George Ringo, the obvious joke. I would go for Sixtus VI, because I’m a joker. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/16 "2009-03-12T05:50:13Z")
Hmm… Pope Athiest? naah Pope Cthulu, hmm, has promise… how about Onarope? Pope Onarope, has a certain…swing to it, i kinda’ like it ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/17 "2009-03-12T05:53:39Z")
I saw the pope on TV. I have a button to prove it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/18 "2009-03-12T07:01:57Z")
Pope Muhammed. Okay, seriously, Sylvester. Big Gerbert of Aurillac fan. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/19 "2009-03-12T10:26:02Z")
I like Dionysius II or Lando II. Maybe Sixtus VI. ---
**Author:** ![Archeonomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Archeonomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archeonomist)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/20 "2009-03-12T10:29:20Z")
Pope The Magic Dragon I Or maybe Pope Boogaloo I. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=2)