# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bluffcityguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@Bluffcityguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluffcityguy)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/41 "2009-03-12T16:24:25Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Pope Conan II? (Okay, it’s “Conon”, but the Cimmerian connection is strong.) > > I’m just amazed that it took until the year 523 before they had a Pope John. I have to confess I’m very surprised there hasn’t been a Pope Peter II in the entire history of the Papacy. Cheers, bcg ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/42 "2009-03-12T16:24:37Z")
If I have to go traditionalist, I’m going with Linus. But, since I’m the Pope, I’m going with Pope Tyrannosaurus Awesome. The first. ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/43 "2009-03-12T16:27:01Z")
Pope Fiction ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/44 "2009-03-12T16:28:54Z")
> [@Bluffcityguy](#): > > I have to confess I’m very surprised there hasn’t been a Pope Peter II in the entire history of the Papacy. Maybe they figured, “There is, and will forever be, only one…” Kind of like North Korea with Kim Il Sung being declared Eternal President. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/45 "2009-03-12T16:35:01Z")
Man, tough question…there’s so many good ones out there for the picking – Pope Schmpoe…Pope Satan…Pope Squiggy…Pope Luxury Yacht…how can one choose?! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/46 "2009-03-12T16:57:59Z")
Pope Up Ad Pope Sickle Pope Tart Pope (Goes) the Weasel Pope O’Matic Pope Eye ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/47 "2009-03-12T16:59:17Z")
Would Joan II be too controversial? Probably. Pope Hilarious II would match my user name, but Sunrazor already took that. I’d have to go with Papa Callistus Quartus. I read a book on popes, once, that included a couple of paragraphs on the martyrdom of the first Pope Callistus (although they listed him as Callisto). Apparently he had been confiscating pagan temples in Rome and converting them to churches. He got away with that just fine. Then he confiscated a pagan wine bar. The locals rioted, grabbed him, and stuffed him down a well. If this story is inaccurate, feel free to log a correction. I won’t hear you, though. The story tickles me. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/48 "2009-03-12T17:02:02Z")
In the event that I, a female, was elected Pope, I’d keep the Pope part(not Popette, or Mother \*\*\*\*) But I’d do a feminine name. Pope Francesca I A favorite novel of mine had a US citizen elected as Pope, and he chose Francis, which in Italian would be Francesco. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/49 "2009-03-12T17:07:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I have to confess I’m very surprised there hasn’t been a Pope Peter II in the entire history of the Papacy. Peter was the name of the first Pope. There’s a superstition that Peter will also be the name of the last Pope - as in, the end of the world. While there’s no particular reason to believe this (or to believe it will be Peter II as opposed to Peter LXVIII) nobody apparently has wanted to take the chance. ---
**Author:** ![Bluffcityguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@Bluffcityguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluffcityguy)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/50 "2009-03-12T17:12:46Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Would Joan II be too controversial? Probably. > > Pope Hilarious II would match my user name, but Sunrazor already took that. > > I’d have to go with Papa Callistus Quartus. I read a book on popes, once, that included a couple of paragraphs on the martyrdom of the first Pope Callistus (although they listed him as Callisto). Apparently he had been confiscating pagan temples in Rome and converting them to churches. He got away with that just fine. > > Then he confiscated a pagan wine bar. The locals rioted, grabbed him, and stuffed him down a well. Well, those pagans had their priorities straight. Though I hate to think what they’d have done to him if he’d confiscated a brothel. 😃 Cheers, bcg ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/51 "2009-03-12T17:15:08Z")
Pope Pennzoil-Our Father of Internal Combustion Pope Pop-Pontiff of the anagrams Pope Moe the Stooge Pope Cannon the Holy Fodder ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/52 "2009-03-12T17:35:23Z")
It’s so hard to decide… Pope Leo the Fender Papa Secret Papa Razzi Papa Smurf Papa Oomowmow ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/53 "2009-03-12T17:43:39Z")
Pope Aree. ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/54 "2009-03-12T17:46:39Z")
Pope Hippotamus Pope Emon ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/55 "2009-03-12T18:01:06Z")
> [@Jophiel](#): > > But, since I’m the Pope, I’m going with Pope Tyrannosaurus Awesome. The first. I just have to say that Tyrannosaurus Awesome is one of the best names I have ever encountered. It’s perfect for a cartoon character or lead singer of a band or, yes, a pope. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/56 "2009-03-12T18:03:55Z")
Pope Yes, the Pontiff of Poultry. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/57 "2009-03-12T18:25:13Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > I too was thinking of a prefix hung on to a good old popey name. > > Pope Impius I Or Pope Inclement… … maybe Pope Guilty… … or, to mess up the lists, something like “Pope Interregnum” or “Pope Antipope”… … nah, I think I’d have to go with Pope Opopope. It’s just too much fun to say. (Try it! Try it now!) ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/58 "2009-03-12T19:53:30Z")
Pope Malcolm the 10th; or if you prefer, Pope Malcolm X. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/59 "2009-03-12T19:54:35Z")
Pope Chuck Norris - because Chuck Norris doesn’t worship God; God worships Chuck Norris. ---
**Author:** ![imfloating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bc79bd/32.png) [@imfloating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imfloating)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/60 "2009-03-12T21:26:43Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > So close! > > But the correct answer is Pope Dickhead, because of the hat. It is the perfect descriptive name. What’s up with that hat anyway…it looks like a fence post digger [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=4)