# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![mutantmoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@mutantmoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mutantmoose)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/61 "2009-03-12T21:40:31Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Peter was the name of the first Pope. There’s a superstition that Peter will also be the name of the last Pope - as in, the end of the world. While there’s no particular reason to believe this (or to believe it will be Peter II as opposed to Peter LXVIII) nobody apparently has wanted to take the chance. St Malachy was an Irish bishop who died in 1148. He predicted all the future popes, not by name but by some characteristic of theirs. He did however name the last pope in his list who he said will be called Peter. There’s only one more pope left (after the current one) according to the list so the next one will be Peter, the last one: > [@](#): > > In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations, at the term of which the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the formidable Judge will judge the people. The End. Previous popes were described thus: Benedict - The glory of the olive. The Order of Saint Benedict use an olive banch as part of their symbol John Paul II - De Labore Solis (from the toil of the sun). He was born and was buried on the day of a solar eclipse. John Paul I - De Medietate Lunae (of the average age of the moon). His papacy lasted only 34 days. About one moon cycle. Paul VI - Flos Florum (flower of flowers). His personal arms bore three fleur-de-lis And so it goes on… > **[Prophecy of the Popes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes)** > > The Prophecy of the Popes (Latin: Prophetia Sancti Malachiae Archiepiscopi, de Summis Pontificibus, "Prophecy of Saint-Archbishop Malachy, concerning the Supreme Pontiffs") is a series of 112 short, cryptic phrases in Latin which purport to predict popes (along with a few antipopes) of the Catholic Church, beginning with Celestine II. It was first published in 1595 by Benedictine monk Arnold Wion, who attributed the prophecy to Saint Malachy, a 12th-century Archbishop of Armagh. > Given the acc... ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/62 "2009-03-12T22:33:45Z")
Bishop Malachy supposedly described the next 112 Popes after the incumbent Innocent II. Benedict XVI is only the 101st Pope since then (“Crux de Cruce”) so we’re still safe for ten more Popes. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/63 "2009-03-12T22:56:07Z")
Didn’t someone- I think it was Jack Handy- hope that someday we would have a Pope Shorty? Anyway, I’d be Popette (that’s what you call a female pope, right?) Felinia. ---
**Author:** ![mutantmoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a87d85/32.png) [@mutantmoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mutantmoose)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/64 "2009-03-12T22:57:51Z")
Think it depends how you count them. If you include a few antipopes then we’re still on track. Face it, next pope’s the last. No good trying to wiggle out of our destiny. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/65 "2009-03-12T23:25:44Z")
I like X or Z names, but it would be appropriate to pick a name that is a Catholic Saint to make sure you aren’t accused of making fun of the papacy, so I would be Pope Xystus or Pope Zoticus (I can’t believe, after checking at Catholic Online, how many St. Zoticuses there have been!) Pope Xystus is much the better of the two names. The name itself, and the X starting it, seem like it could give rise to all kinds of mystical conspiracy theories or biblical predictions or whatnot. It just sounds so _mysterious_. ETA: to appease the believers in the prediction of St. Malachy, I’ll choose a compound or double-barrelled name like Jean-Paul I and Jean-Paul II did: Xystus-Pierre (French) aka Xystus Peter (English). (I wonder why those hyphenated first names have caught on in French but never in English.) ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2009, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/66 "2009-03-12T23:26:34Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Pope Sidious. There goes my first idea . . . I’ll go with Pope Doom instead. And wear an iron mask. I get to yell “YOU DARE DEFY _ **DOOM** _ !” when bishops argue with me. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/67 "2009-03-13T01:21:17Z")
Gary Nice, benign, and benevolent Pope Gary. My emblem would be Spongebob’s pet snail. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/68 "2009-03-13T02:50:46Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Scrolling backwards through the list, I see that, before Pope John Paul I, Pope Lando (913-914) was the _last_ pope to bring a new name to the list. All the popes since, except for John Paul I, have reused an older name as their regnal name–and John Paul I only lasted a month. (What was up with that, anyways?) [Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=476351) is my thread on the assassination theory of John Paul I ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/69 "2009-03-13T09:07:44Z")
Pope Hopon Pope Antioch, then start a munitions factory… ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/70 "2009-03-13T13:02:05Z")
> [@imfloating](#): > > What’s up with that hat anyway…it looks like a fence post digger It is called a [mitre.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitre) ---
**Author:** ![Bluffcityguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@Bluffcityguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluffcityguy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/71 "2009-03-13T13:54:38Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > Pope Hopon “Pope Hopalong” has a nice ring to it, I think. And if I could find a personal _aide de camp_ named “Cardinal Windy”… Cheers, bcg ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/72 "2009-03-13T13:59:36Z")
Pope Fukov. " Pope Fukov prepares to bless the crowd." ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/73 "2009-03-13T14:58:11Z")
Either Adolf or Bob ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/74 "2009-03-13T14:59:48Z")
I like either Skip or Chip. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/75 "2009-03-13T15:24:35Z")
I like the name “Papa Cthulhu”. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/76 "2009-03-13T16:10:50Z")
A female pope is a “popess.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/77 "2009-03-13T20:26:36Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I like either Skip or Chip. How about Beaver? ---
**Author:** ![Gymnopithys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/fbc32d/32.png) [@Gymnopithys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gymnopithys)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/78 "2009-03-13T21:05:17Z")
Le Pape I ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/79 "2009-03-13T21:37:03Z")
Something a little less formal… Like Pope Al or Pope Bob ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/80 "2009-03-13T22:12:48Z")
Traditionally…Pope Leo XIV. But, I really would like to start the Yeticus lineage of popes…or be king and pope with Yeticus Rex. Yeah, Pope Yeticus Rex I. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=5)