# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/101 "2009-03-16T17:51:23Z")
> [@mutantmoose](#): > > St Malachy was an Irish bishop who died in 1148. He predicted all the future popes, not by name but by some characteristic of theirs. He did however name the last pope in his list who he said will be called Peter. There’s only one more pope left (after the current one) according to the list so the next one will be Peter, the last one: > > > [@](#): > > > > In extreme persecution, the seat of the Holy Roman Church will be occupied by Peter the Roman, who will feed the sheep through many tribulations; when they are over, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the terrible or fearsome Judge will judge his people. The End. Well, in that case, you can call me Pope Peter the Roman. Nevermind that I’m a woman and have never even visited Rome, let’s get the ball rolling on those endtimes! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/102 "2009-03-16T18:08:51Z")
Pope Floyd Pope Luther Pope Voldemort Pope Upp Pope Topp Pope Tart ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/103 "2009-03-16T18:42:12Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Pope Floyd > Pope Luther > Pope Voldemort > Pope Upp > Pope Topp > Pope Tart You misspelled that. Pope LUTHOR. I’d be Pope IG-88, the first Robot Pope. Or Pope Aldrin, the Space Pope. The Moon must be Catholic! Pope Amalek Pope Rasputin Pope Happy Feet Pope Magdalene ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/104 "2009-03-16T19:24:01Z")
I read a sf story once set about 400 years in the future that referred to a big Vatican meeting convened by Pope Anna III. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KnitWit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@KnitWit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KnitWit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/105 "2009-03-16T19:57:49Z")
Popess Kniticus. Socks and sweaters for the masses! I hereby declare it! ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/106 "2009-03-17T03:34:48Z")
Furthermore, if I was pope, I would forgo the fancy garb for a plain and humble friar’s robe. That’d likely shake things up more than whichever name I chose. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/107 "2009-03-17T11:19:23Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > You misspelled that. Pope LUTHOR. No I didn’t. I’m thinking Martin, not Lex… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/108 "2009-03-17T11:40:26Z")
Brígida 🙂 or Bárbara, cos she’s Patron Saint of Things That Go Boom. Sadly, I can’t be elected Pope 😛 ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/109 "2009-03-17T12:57:32Z")
Pope Friday XIII ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/110 "2009-03-17T14:18:02Z")
Pope Space Pope Pope (insert name of product that forks over the most cash, I’m hoping I don’t end up being Pope Microsoft Windows Vista, but if they pony up…) ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/111 "2009-03-17T14:37:44Z")
Well, there’s been a couple takes on this already but I think I might like to be Pope Pie. Mmm … Pope Pie. Or maybe Pope Less? I had another one and was sure it would already have been used, it wasn’t but I forgot it by the time I got to the end of the thread.☹ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/112 "2009-03-17T16:15:50Z")
> [@bobo t](#): > > Pope Cloetus The First There was a Pope Cletus (or Anacletus). ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/113 "2009-03-17T16:45:27Z")
Peter Romanus ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/114 "2009-03-17T16:49:02Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Traditionalist here. I’d be Pope Clement XV. There’ve been some good popes named Clement; I’d want to continue their work (if I were Catholic, that is). Yes Pope Clement V was a great and illustrious pope. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/115 "2009-03-17T17:12:41Z")
Well, I didn’t say they all were… but I think we’re overdue for another Clement. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/116 "2009-03-17T22:25:24Z")
I actually like the names Innocent & Urban, but if I were elected Pope, I would change my name to Mercury. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/117 "2009-03-18T00:13:28Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Pope Space Pope > Pope (insert name of product that forks over the most cash, I’m hoping I don’t end up being Pope Microsoft Windows Vista, but if they pony up…) Boy, the economic crisis must be worse than I’d thought - I’ve never heard of the Vatican being strapped for cash. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/118 "2009-03-18T00:42:57Z")
I’d pick Terminus. Because I’d shut the joint down as soon as I was elected. ---
**Author:** ![Bluffcityguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ebca7d/32.png) [@Bluffcityguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluffcityguy)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/119 "2009-03-18T10:38:10Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > Boy, the economic crisis must be worse than I’d thought - I’ve never heard of the Vatican being strapped for cash. 😉 Well, once the lawyers start collecting on all the damage judgments for priests who abused children… 🙂 Cheers, bcg ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/120 "2009-03-18T15:40:35Z")
I’ve got it! Pope Goestheweasel! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=7)