# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/121 "2009-03-28T22:22:25Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > Boy, the economic crisis must be worse than I’d thought - I’ve never heard of the Vatican being strapped for cash. 😉 He expects to follow [Pope Kiril.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shoes_of_the_Fisherman) ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/122 "2009-03-28T23:11:12Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Pope (insert name of product that forks over the most cash, I’m hoping I don’t end up being Pope Microsoft Windows Vista, but if they pony up…) I thought everybody knew that [Microsoft has already purchased the Catholic church](http://www.spunk.org/texts/humour/sp001526.html). ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/123 "2009-03-30T14:47:03Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Pope Muhammed. > > Okay, seriously, Sylvester. Big Gerbert of Aurillac fan. Pope Muhammad would be fine if you simply called it Pope Antonius. Since both names mean the same thing; praiseworthy. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/124 "2009-03-30T15:18:06Z")
Pope Onarope would be tempting but Pope Anastasia because it has a regal quality about it that appeals to me. And my first order of business would be to replace the Popemobile with the Batmobile. Or a donkey. I’m not sure which. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/125 "2012-05-21T19:30:17Z")
Pope Kickass Fucknut ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/126 "2012-05-21T19:51:55Z")
zombie or no il then i would start doing tv commercials. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/127 "2012-05-21T20:19:37Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Pope Kickass Fucknut May as well do the full monty – Pope Chuck Norris ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/128 "2012-05-21T20:21:21Z")
Pope Loki ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/129 "2012-05-21T20:30:21Z")
Since Pope Innocent is taken, I will go with Pope Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/130 "2012-05-21T20:35:09Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Since Pope Innocent is taken, I will go with Pope Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity. > > Regards, > Shodan How about Pope Innocent Bystander? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/131 "2012-05-21T20:39:34Z")
nvm ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/132 "2012-05-21T21:29:07Z")
Just the first thing that came to mind: Pope Adope. I should hope that my successor would choose to be Pope Onnarope, though that might be tempting fate. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/133 "2012-05-21T21:34:33Z")
Pope PeterofRome, just so I could claim to be the final pope, send everybody home to await the Rapture and liquidate the art and jewelry collections in peace. ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/134 "2012-05-21T22:00:57Z")
Gotta love Zombie threads Pope Iman Fun two ways ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/135 "2012-05-21T22:22:18Z")
I haven’t checked to see if this is a dupe, but I’m going for that Irish-Korean appeal: O’Rhee ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/136 "2012-05-21T23:55:42Z")
I’d use my Yiddish name, which is Moish. Pope Moish Ultimus (because there wouldn’t be any Catholic church when I got through with it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/137 "2012-05-22T01:12:39Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Brígida 🙂 or Bárbara, cos she’s Patron Saint of Things That Go Boom. > > Sadly, I can’t be elected Pope 😛 My impression is that, during the election, the College of Cardinals pauses to allow the possibility of divine intervention guiding their hand. With God guiding their choice, they could choose literally anyone, and the Church would just have to deal with it. I recall one story in Analog science fiction magazine that had the cardinals all choose an American named Dave, much to their consternation. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/138 "2012-06-03T06:19:30Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > You know, like the second person to visit the Marianas Trench. Who was it again? Oh, wait a minute . . . James Cameron. I would choose the most obscure name on the list, like say Pope Zosimus. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2012, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/139 "2012-06-03T09:33:14Z")
Someone beat me to Sidious by four years ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/140 "2014-11-03T20:29:55Z")
Pope Aaron E. Pizza Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=8)