# If you were elected as the next Pope, what papal name would you choose? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 12, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161 "2009-03-12T03:04:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2014, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/141 "2014-11-03T21:52:24Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > Papa > > Pope Papa Actually you’d be Papa Papa, at least in Italian. Not that there’s anything wrong with a little alliteration. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2014, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/142 "2014-11-03T21:56:11Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > My impression is that, during the election, the College of Cardinals pauses to allow the possibility of divine intervention guiding their hand. With God guiding their choice, they could choose literally anyone, and the Church would just have to deal with it. I recall one story in Analog science fiction magazine that had the cardinals all choose an American named Dave, much to their consternation. Why is an American named Dave so much worse than say, Karol Józef Wojtyła? My Pope name would be Magdalena (later known as Pope St.Magdalena the Great). ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/143 "2014-11-03T21:58:02Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Why is an American named Dave so much worse than say, Karol Józef Wojtyła? …Turns out “Dave” is short for David Rabinowitz? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2014, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/144 "2014-11-03T22:16:51Z")
Oh… I’m Irish, so Patrick would be nice. Pope Paddy I. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/145 "2014-11-04T02:37:20Z")
Epop. I want to be so universal that people feel they know me forwards and backwards. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/146 "2014-11-04T02:58:13Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > How about Pope Innocent Bystander? Pope Nolo Contendere ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/147 "2014-11-04T05:03:31Z")
Pope Heisenberg (but I’m not certain!) ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/148 "2014-11-04T06:06:38Z")
Pope Zombina. (This is the third go-round of this thread) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/149 "2014-11-04T13:11:32Z")
I’d be Urban Shocker II ([Urban Shocker I](http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/shockur01.shtml?redir) is already enshrined). ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/150 "2014-11-04T14:06:16Z")
Pope Rufus I, of course. “If you think this Church is bad off now, just wait 'til I get through with it!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/151 "2014-11-04T14:11:35Z")
Joan. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/152 "2014-11-04T14:13:07Z")
I would be either Pope Onaroap, or Pope Sicola. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/153 "2014-11-04T14:28:28Z")
Those just get funnier every time someone else posts them. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2014, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161/154 "2014-11-04T14:30:26Z")
They are the classics, after all. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-elected-as-the-next-pope-what-papal-name-would-you-choose/489161.md?page=7)