# If you were forced into a lesbian lovathon... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 13, 2001, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188 "2001-11-13T21:16:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/41 "2001-11-14T16:11:48Z")
A short, off-hand, list:[ul][_][Henry Simmons](http://abc.go.com/primetime/nypdblue/bios/henry_simmons.html). Two fairly big taboos here: male and black. He’s a handsome man, though (with the kind of abs I’m hoping to build, too.)[_][Billy Campbell](http://abc.go.com/primetime/onceandagain/bios/billy_campbell.html). [_]There are a couple of guys on [Third Watch](http://www.nbc.com/Third_Watch/).[_][Oded Fehr](http://www.nbc.com/UC:_Undercover/bios/Oded_Fehr.html) rounds out the list.[/ul]'Course, like **Dave** said, with a gun to my head, I’d blow Rodney Dangerfield and let Howard Stern lick my ass, so this really isn’t much of a poll. ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/42 "2001-11-14T16:21:57Z")
So some of y’all would do ANYONE if a gun were held to your head, but wouldn’t you want it to be someone you found attractive? I mean, yes, I would go down on the skanky old woman in the negligee from the Raisin Bran commerial (you understand if you’ve seen the commercial) if it was that or death, but I’d much prefer it to be someone attractive…like maybe the girl from Xena who played Gabrielle. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/43 "2001-11-14T16:40:43Z")
Well, I wouldn’t even do it with a gun to my head… ---
**Author:** ![BuddhaDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@BuddhaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BuddhaDog)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/44 "2001-11-14T16:48:54Z")
Bill Gates Gotta consider the black mail factor. If he refuses to be blackmailed then at least I could write a best selling novel and still make millions. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/45 "2001-11-14T17:12:05Z")
I’ve never seen a guy that I thought, “wow, is he hot!”, but often I’ll notice that some actor “looks cool” or something like that. So I could just list Tom Cruise, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, and be done with this question. But in the spirit of complete honesty, I have to admit that, where fantasies go, I would be much more interested in the guys genitals than in his looks, which really don’t matter to me. So, to really answer this question, with the gun pointed at my head, I’d get naughty with the long, thick, firm, helmet-headed one. OK? ::hides:: ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/46 "2001-11-14T17:17:03Z")
For me as a hetero male: Robert De Niro and Elvis, if he were alive. Also, former Detroit Tiger Lance Parrish. We have a running joke “I’m not gay but if I had to be, I’d want it to be with him”. I’ve tried getting this info out of the wife. So far she’s admitted to Gina Gershon and Uma Thurman. She actually had a dream about someone but she won’t say who. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/47 "2001-11-14T17:30:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > \*\* > I’ll _never_ understand the obsession with Angelina Jolie. Sure, pretty to look at sometimes, but DAMN that girl is just INSANE. The more interviews I see of her, the more I want to give her some thorazine and at least 2 years of intense psychiatric help. > \*\* This is unfortunately true of every woman I have ever been involved with in my life, so Ms. Jolie would seem to be just my type. But I have decided I will not date anymore until I can be certain that I am not selecting partners who are insane, so Angelina will just have to carry on without me somehow. ---
**Author:** ![JDeMobray](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@JDeMobray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDeMobray)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/48 "2001-11-14T18:23:58Z")
Y’know it’s threads like this that remind me why I might just be willing to pay to post. Anyhoo. **Bono** from U2. Seriously, the first and only guy who came to mind when I read the OP. I’m not afraid to admit that I think he is a beautiful man. Oy. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/49 "2001-11-14T19:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*BottledBlondJeanie \*\* > So some of y’all would do ANYONE if a gun were held to your head, but wouldn’t you want it to be someone you found attractive No no, your not understanding: if the choice is “do it or die” then it’s not really much of a choice and the person on the other end is not too much of a factor. However, if the choice is “you have to do it, but you can choose with whom, or you can die” _then_ the people listed come into play. For my part, the last part of my post was just stating the first part of this one in different words. YMMV. I’m hetro and very secure in my manhood, so I have no problem answering questions like this. Would I willingly engage in sexual acts with another man? Not at the present time. I’m not bi- nor do I see that in my future, but there is no need to get all “I’d die first” repressed over the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/50 "2001-11-14T21:10:59Z")
Every once in a while I get a crush on a woman or girl. A long time ago it was Michelle Pfeiffer. In fact, when I first saw Morgan Fairchild on Happy Days when I was a kid, I thought she was the most beautiful woman ever. Usually, though, it’s just all about her looks and I don’t feel any attraction to her. If I were going to spend many years in prison, heck yeah I’d have lesbian relationships. Anyway, the strongest feelings of desire I’ve ever felt for a female are for Britney Spears. My husband will change the channel on Britney before I will. Well, it’s wearing off, but she is definitely a turn-on. Not that I’d really _do_ anything with her, because she’s too young for me. I wish I could remember which men my husband thinks are attractive. Of course he always claims he has no idea whether any man is handsome or not, so I have to pay close attention to find out who he really thinks is good looking. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/51 "2001-11-14T21:24:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caiata \* > Mmm, Catherine Zeta-Jones … Another for Zeta-Jones. I was just commenting to a co-worker that I think she is “flawless”. If I was a lesbian, or bi (and had a shot in hell), I’d do her. Bernadette Peters – I absolutely worship this woman, might as well put her on the fictional lesbian list 🙂 I have to agree with **Arden** that Lucy Lawless is pretty hot. I could go for a three way with her and Kevin Smith (Ares, not the director). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/52 "2001-11-14T21:39:43Z")
Xena and Ares? My head would explode! :eek: But what a way to go. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/53 "2001-11-14T22:07:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > Xena and Ares? My head would explode! :eek: Oh yeah! I’m always _ahem_ inserting myself into their sex scenes :o ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/54 "2001-11-14T22:14:47Z")
Hmm, I’ve always said that I’d let David Bowie come on over if he wanted to visit. But, I’d have to add Brad Pitt to the list. Not because I think he’s anything special, but I would just want to make a lot of Doperettes (including my wife) jealous. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/55 "2001-11-15T05:24:02Z")
I’ll go with Rupert Everet because it would probably go much quicker and easier if one of us knew what he was doing. ---
**Author:** ![xanadu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c4cdca/32.png) [@xanadu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xanadu)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/56 "2001-11-15T05:29:46Z")
Sela Ward. I’m surprised no one’s mentioned her already. She’s astonishingly beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/57 "2001-11-15T12:37:41Z")
**[sub]I’m married and monogamous, so this is hypothetical.**[/sub] I’m like **Cranky** , male stars and public figures don’t turn me on. If I were forced to pick a guy to, uh, experiment with, I’d choose a gay guy. Someone funny and intelligent. I don’t have any close, single gay male friends, so I’d be start thinking about Dopers. And, Oh, I’ll just come right out and say it: I WANNA BE ESPRIX’ CHEW TOY! [sub]I mean, if you held a gun to my head.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/58 "2001-11-15T12:46:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jkusters \* > \*\*Here’s one of the gay dopers checking in, and you know, I’m having trouble connecting with the original precept. Sex with girls to me is a fairly meaningless concept. However, there are some (assumedly straight) women who do get my attention, though not really in a sexual way. Let’s see if I can remember them… > > … > **Ertha Kitt** in _any_ movie or TV show I’ve seen her in. > … > > JOhn. \*\* “The Emperor’s New Groove”? ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/59 "2001-11-15T12:50:38Z")
Hugh Jackman. The guy is absolutely flawless. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188/60 "2001-11-15T15:36:31Z")
The interesting thing is that as a hetero female, I had no problem posting to the most beautiful women thread; Rose McGowan, Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman, etc. but the truth is having to interact with any of them, in a sexual way, does just zilch for me. Blah. Its the same with porn. I can look at the females and admire their beauty, and get turned on, but when I examine it I realize that rather than lusting after them, I am fantasizing that I AM them, strutting and slutting in front of others etc. So I am able to dig up like zero lesbian tendencies. Yuck. I feel so boring and un-hip… ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-forced-into-a-lesbian-lovathon/93188.md?page=4)