# If you were in the Guiness Book of World Records, what would it be for? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 5, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911 "2005-04-05T21:12:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/21 "2005-04-07T04:48:28Z")
Shortest Attenti ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/22 "2005-04-07T05:03:38Z")
Instant classic, **picker**. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/23 "2005-04-07T14:35:38Z")
Naked thread-running. ::runs nekkid through thread:: ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/24 "2005-04-07T14:56:23Z")
> [@ninetypercent](#): > > Once, I drank 32 beer in less than 24 hours. No chance you’re gonna get in for that, especially when Andre the Giant once drank 110 beers. [Linkypooh](http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/PersonDetail/personid-133163) ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2005, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/25 "2005-04-07T16:27:16Z")
Best croquet player in the world! Not just now, but eventually, I hope. I know, I know, but at least it’s outdoors 🙂 . Also, it’s almost certainly not what you think it is. ---
**Author:** ![Moonchild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@Moonchild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonchild)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/26 "2005-04-08T08:26:36Z")
Most times going back on my word to stop surfing internet porn. Most times going back on my word to stop masturbating. Most diving catches by a softball player. Longest time between starting and finishing the same screenplay without actually giving up on it (we’re at 10 years and counting – but it’s getting REALLY good!). ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/27 "2005-04-08T11:03:56Z")
Marrying people. I’ve done about 500 couples so far. I know that’s probably nowhere near the record (even not counting Rev. Moon and his mass weddings), but it puts me in the lead at my agency. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/28 "2005-04-08T12:59:45Z")
> [@Fern Forest](#): > > I used to have that. I was a shut in for all but an hour or two a week. Damn work! I doubt I’ll ever be able to play 38 straight of final fantasy again. Sigh. > > But now I have the World’s Oldest Answering Machine Greeting. It’s 10.5 years old. Ok maybe not the world’s oldest but I doubt any dopers can beat it. Maybe no dopers can, but my in-laws probably could have until recently. My husband was still on their machine until this year. I am not sure exactly how long they had that greeting, but it was more than 14 years. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/29 "2005-04-08T14:38:47Z")
Haiest percentedge off mispelled werds inn won poost. ---
**Author:** ![grimpixie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecb155/32.png) [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/30 "2005-04-08T14:49:36Z")
I was actually _in_ the book for a little while - the university campus where my Dad was studying for his Masters held the Human Dominoes Record - I was number 28 in the line… Grim ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/31 "2005-04-08T15:08:41Z")
When I was 16, I decided I wanted to set the record for most cigarettes smoked at one time. Well, I was only able to fit 15 in my mouth, so I was at least 90 short of the record. I smoked 'em all down to the butts, though. _cough cough hack wheeze_ ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/32 "2005-04-08T17:16:11Z")
Loudest belch. A couple of months ago I was in the bathroom taking a dump (of all things 😛 ) when I just unleashed this collosal burp which was not only earsplittingly _loud_ it also lasted a long time, like 5 seconds. I swear it was like putting your ear next to those basketball buzzers and letting the thing buzz for 5 seconds straight. It literally made the medicine cabinet rattle :eek: Too bad nobody else was in the house to hear it though ☹ My best one so far. ---
**Author:** ![Lynder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/22d042/32.png) [@Lynder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynder)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2005, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911/33 "2005-04-08T22:37:23Z")
For talking non stop about nothing… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-in-the-guiness-book-of-world-records-what-would-it-be-for/297911.md?page=1)