# If you were on death row, but you were NOT a turkey . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 25, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184 "2003-11-25T14:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/1 "2003-11-25T14:25:48Z")
. . . would you find the spectacle of George W. Bush, the rootin’ tootin’est, executin’est governor of the killin’est state in the whole dang nation, _pardoning_ a turkey, as a kind of light-hearted gag about–get ready to guffaw here–_capital punishment_–as offensive as I do? If this weren’t an established tradition, I’d’v expected Bush to conclude the ceremony by peeling his face off to reveal Will Farrell. But who needs surrealism when you have Bush Ibn Bush? (For an added surreal twist, searching the press conference transcribed in this [link](http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2003/11/20031121.html#6) is a bit confusing, because one of the topics besides the Thanksgiving turkey pardon is the terrorist attacks in Turkey.) ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/2 "2003-11-25T14:36:23Z")
**Lissener** , I dislike Bush–both his politics and his person–but I think you’re reading **WAY** too much into a harmless tradition. Instead, I recommend looking at [this picture](http://www.guardian.co.uk/bush/graphic/0,7367,602463,00.html) of the ceremony from a couple years ago, which is funny in a way that doesn’t involve frightening levels of vitriolic over-analysis. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/3 "2003-11-25T14:51:31Z")
**Lissener** , go outside and get some air. When come back bring sanity. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/4 "2003-11-25T15:05:06Z")
Just for old time’s sake, he should have let the turkey meet its doom and then mocked its pleas for its life. \“No! Gobble gobble! Don’t eat me! Gobble!” Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/5 "2003-11-25T15:08:58Z")
Well, when you consider it’s a tradition that goes back decades, I don’t see the big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/6 "2003-11-25T15:12:07Z")
**lissener**! You ignored my Lady From Shanghai thread after having the nerve to suggest it was better than Chinatown! ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/7 "2003-11-25T15:13:12Z")
Sorry Ilsa; took a short break from the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/8 "2003-11-25T15:15:29Z")
Dude, Harry Truman was the first one to do it. Pro and anti-death penalty Presidents have done it for over fifty years. Get a grip. And remember, if Gore had been elected, we’d STILL have a pro-death-penalty Prez doing it. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/9 "2003-11-25T15:23:16Z")
Clinton was pro death penalty. Clinton was pro death penalty for a brain damaged man in Arkansas. > **[9 Arguments Against the Death Penalty: Are There Any Pros?](https://www.nodeathpenalty.org/get-the-facts/six-reasons-oppose-death-penalty/)** > > There are more cons than pros when it comes to the death penalty. Here’s why you should be against capital punishment too. Clinton pardoned 8 turkeys. I assume you’re equally outraged at Clinton and will publically say so, lissener? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/10 "2003-11-25T15:42:26Z")
yeah, I know I know; I acknowledged it was a tradition, so what’s your point? I just think the PRESENT context gives an OLD tradition a decidedly surrealistic twist. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/11 "2003-11-25T15:46:42Z")
What startled me was that right after the AP headline “BUSH PARDONS TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING” was the headline “COURT CHANGES NINE IN TURKEY ATTACKS.” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/12 "2003-11-25T15:47:47Z")
Can you electricute a turkey? Does it come out well? Because I read an OP on another thread where the poster’s oven had caught fire… ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/13 "2003-11-25T17:39:56Z")
Thing is, see, the turkey didn’t kill anyone. He was innocent. It is right that he gets a reprive. ---
**Author:** ![Chastain86](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Chastain86](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chastain86)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/14 "2003-11-25T17:47:00Z")
Some people will grasp any straw to get down on the President. :rolleyes: The guy’s made scores of moronic decisions, and THIS ONE’S the one you get your dander up about? ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/15 "2003-11-25T17:50:03Z")
I needed a laugh today. This did it. I’ll be over here cleaning the iced tea off my keyboard, thanks World Eater. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/16 "2003-11-25T17:54:50Z")
This is a brainless fucking tradition no matter who does it. They just eat a different turkey, right? Or do they go vegetarian that day? If I were president I’d have a slaughtering ceremony instead. Maybe hire Ozzy to bite its head off. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/17 "2003-11-26T04:53:56Z")
Don’t they have another turkey waiting in the wings for the actual slaughter? How do they decide? Do they draw straws? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/18 "2003-11-26T05:12:41Z")
Well, y’know, it’s not like that turkey was cruising around a tri-state area with a Jamaican kid he called his son, sniping his victims through a hole in the trunk of the car, or anything… So what does the President’s family have for Thanksgiving? Ham? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/19 "2003-11-26T05:23:00Z")
Can somebody explain this curious tradition to those of us who are non-Merkins? ---
**Author:** ![SnoopyFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@SnoopyFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnoopyFan)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184/20 "2003-11-26T05:31:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\ ***Lissener** , go outside and get some air. > > When come back bring sanity. \*\* _wipes fruity pebbles off of screen_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-but-you-were-not-a-turkey/215184.md?page=2)