# If you were on death row, what would be your last meal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 1, 2013, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751 "2013-09-01T20:07:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/41 "2013-09-02T19:01:48Z")
> [@Tess\_Trueheart](#): > > Okay, they ban cigs, sure - but it says someone on death row was denied bubble gum! Why? MacGyver ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/42 "2013-09-02T19:05:55Z")
> [@](#): > > MacGyver {golf clap} well, a golf clap but with a bit more chutzpah… maybe a Curling Clap. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/43 "2013-09-02T19:57:54Z")
Cyanide. Just to fuck with them. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/44 "2013-09-02T20:25:33Z")
A fresh 100 year old egg. A real one. I’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/45 "2013-09-02T21:55:39Z")
I’ll just have a salad. I have to watch my cholesterol. ---
**Author:** ![eltro102](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@eltro102](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eltro102)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2013, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/46 "2013-09-02T23:49:54Z")
[http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/lastmeal.png](http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/lastmeal.png) ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/47 "2013-09-03T01:51:27Z")
The Governor’s liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. ---
**Author:** ![dzeiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/46a35a/32.png) [@dzeiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzeiger)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/48 "2013-09-03T01:53:38Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > No way would I be able to eat at a time like that! I’m about to die for chrissakes. To say my appetite would be affected by the circumstances would be putting it mildly. Give me a bottle of tequila for my last meal. Eh, I figure I’d have been on death row for a few years at that point while the appeals process goes on, probably plenty of time for me to come to terms with my impending doom. The real question is the quality of the cooks–I assume my request is being done by the normal prison chef here, not some gourmet. Sure, I’d probably love a good prime rib, but if the normal fare during my stay has had hamburgers so overcooked they’re used for hockey pucks, perhaps the $50 of bacon idea is the best one. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/49 "2013-09-03T02:06:46Z")
> [@Tess\_Trueheart](#): > > Okay, they ban cigs, sure - but it says someone on death row was denied bubble gum! Why? Because, if you swallow it, it stays in your digestive system for 7 years. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/50 "2013-09-03T02:06:46Z")
I’m thinking a Cobb salad, except switched around into a steak salad. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/51 "2013-09-03T02:21:50Z")
I’d have to go with a half rack of baby backs from my favorite BBQ place, an order of scattered, smothered, covered, chunked with a bottle of Valentina’s on the side, a big bowl of peanut butter cup ice cream (not like I’ll need to worry about raising the blood glucose at that point) and a liter of selzer (with a bit of Dickel in it if allowed).If Riverbend allows it, I would also take a pack of Virginia Slims menthol. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/52 "2013-09-03T02:59:23Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > [Final meal requests from death row prisoners in texas.](http://drongomala.wordpress.com/2007/07/30/final-meal-requests-from-death-row-prisoners-in-texas/) > > Oddly fascinasting. Incidentally, they don’t do that anymore. Even then they wouldn’t make the offender anything his heart desired, but they would make anything they had in the prison kitchen. A recent offender requested an unbelievable amount of food and didn’t eat a bite of it, so they ended the last meal policy. Now condemned offenders get whatever is being served in the chow hall that night. I guess one bad apple ruined it for everybody. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/53 "2013-09-03T03:02:02Z")
Very simple: Chocolate ice cream with a cyanide glaze. Make it generic to save on costs. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/54 "2013-09-03T06:53:12Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > I guess one bad apple ruined it for everybody. Yeah, I hate it when _a convicted murderer/rapist/whatever who deserves the death penalty_ turns out to be a bad apple. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/55 "2013-09-03T13:20:05Z")
Up front, I KNOW the OP is really just asking “What’s your favorite food?” It’s a perfectly fun, innocent question and I don’t want to put a damper on it. Nobody likes a threadshitter. Nonetheless, I have to point out (as I do whenever this topic comes up), prisons do not have a tradition, much less an obligation, to give a condemned prisoner whatever he/she wants as a last meal. The last meal has to be something that’s already served regularly in the prison cafeteria. Hence, convicts tend to choose their favorite dish from the usual dinners served. If the prison cafeteria serves decent fried chicken, pretty good spaghetti and meatballs, or a halfway decent cheeseburger, that’s what the convict will ask for. A few years ago, Texas Monthly magazine did have an interesting piece by an ex-con who used to work at the cafeteria in Huntsville prison. He often cooked last meals, and said he’d usually TRY to accommodate guys who made special requests. If a man asked for a steak as his last meal, the cafeteria guy would take hamburger meat and try to fashion some kind of steak. If a guy asked for lobster, the cook would take fish sticks, remove the crust, sautee them in some butter, and try to make an ersatz lobster. But real prisons don’t go out of their way to give a condemned man whatever he likes. That comes from movies and legend. Again, sorry to shit on a perfectly fine, fun thread. Go back to telling us your favorite dishes. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/56 "2013-09-03T16:37:22Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Might as well go for the fugu. With a rhubarb-greens salad? ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/57 "2013-09-05T00:31:18Z")
Escargots, skirt steak with a dijon peppercorn sauce, asparagus, green salad, camembert, French butter, and a baguette. And a good Bordeaux. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/58 "2013-09-05T02:45:40Z")
Morel mushrooms ,tacos and fried green tomato ---
**Author:** ![Werekoala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7993a0/32.png) [@Werekoala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Werekoala)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/59 "2013-09-05T02:57:31Z")
Chicken fried steak (T-bone preferably)with cream gravy, two biscuits w/butter and grape jelly (the good kind of bicsuits, not the canned shit), real mashed potatoes with butter (lumpy), fresh steamed green beans, fried okra (crispy pleasekthx), 3-4 pieces of borderline-crispy bacon, two scrambled eggs, a small side salad with thousand island dressing (hold the tomatoes), a glass of super-cold milk, 5-6 shots of top-shelf vodka (cold) and vanilla ice cream for desert. And a last minute reprieve. ---
**Author:** ![shadowthorn69](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7c8e57/32.png) [@shadowthorn69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shadowthorn69)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2013, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-on-death-row-what-would-be-your-last-meal/667751/60 "2013-09-05T04:48:52Z")
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