MacGyver
{golf clap}
well, a golf clap but with a bit more chutzpah…
maybe a Curling Clap.
Cyanide. Just to fuck with them.
A fresh 100 year old egg. A real one. I’ll wait.
I’ll just have a salad. I have to watch my cholesterol.
The Governor’s liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Eh, I figure I’d have been on death row for a few years at that point while the appeals process goes on, probably plenty of time for me to come to terms with my impending doom.
The real question is the quality of the cooks–I assume my request is being done by the normal prison chef here, not some gourmet. Sure, I’d probably love a good prime rib, but if the normal fare during my stay has had hamburgers so overcooked they’re used for hockey pucks, perhaps the $50 of bacon idea is the best one.
Because, if you swallow it, it stays in your digestive system for 7 years.
I’m thinking a Cobb salad, except switched around into a steak salad.
I’d have to go with a half rack of baby backs from my favorite BBQ place, an order of scattered, smothered, covered, chunked with a bottle of Valentina’s on the side, a big bowl of peanut butter cup ice cream (not like I’ll need to worry about raising the blood glucose at that point) and a liter of selzer (with a bit of Dickel in it if allowed).If Riverbend allows it, I would also take a pack of Virginia Slims menthol.
Incidentally, they don’t do that anymore. Even then they wouldn’t make the offender anything his heart desired, but they would make anything they had in the prison kitchen. A recent offender requested an unbelievable amount of food and didn’t eat a bite of it, so they ended the last meal policy. Now condemned offenders get whatever is being served in the chow hall that night. I guess one bad apple ruined it for everybody.
Very simple: Chocolate ice cream with a cyanide glaze. Make it generic to save on costs.
Yeah, I hate it when a convicted murderer/rapist/whatever who deserves the death penalty turns out to be a bad apple.
Up front, I KNOW the OP is really just asking “What’s your favorite food?” It’s a perfectly fun, innocent question and I don’t want to put a damper on it. Nobody likes a threadshitter.
Nonetheless, I have to point out (as I do whenever this topic comes up), prisons do not have a tradition, much less an obligation, to give a condemned prisoner whatever he/she wants as a last meal.
The last meal has to be something that’s already served regularly in the prison cafeteria. Hence, convicts tend to choose their favorite dish from the usual dinners served. If the prison cafeteria serves decent fried chicken, pretty good spaghetti and meatballs, or a halfway decent cheeseburger, that’s what the convict will ask for.
A few years ago, Texas Monthly magazine did have an interesting piece by an ex-con who used to work at the cafeteria in Huntsville prison. He often cooked last meals, and said he’d usually TRY to accommodate guys who made special requests. If a man asked for a steak as his last meal, the cafeteria guy would take hamburger meat and try to fashion some kind of steak. If a guy asked for lobster, the cook would take fish sticks, remove the crust, sautee them in some butter, and try to make an ersatz lobster.
But real prisons don’t go out of their way to give a condemned man whatever he likes. That comes from movies and legend.
Again, sorry to shit on a perfectly fine, fun thread. Go back to telling us your favorite dishes.
With a rhubarb-greens salad?
Escargots, skirt steak with a dijon peppercorn sauce, asparagus, green salad, camembert, French butter, and a baguette. And a good Bordeaux.
Morel mushrooms ,tacos and fried green tomato
Chicken fried steak (T-bone preferably)with cream gravy, two biscuits w/butter and grape jelly (the good kind of bicsuits, not the canned shit), real mashed potatoes with butter (lumpy), fresh steamed green beans, fried okra (crispy pleasekthx), 3-4 pieces of borderline-crispy bacon, two scrambled eggs, a small side salad with thousand island dressing (hold the tomatoes), a glass of super-cold milk, 5-6 shots of top-shelf vodka (cold) and vanilla ice cream for desert.
And a last minute reprieve.
Sawfish.