# If you were President, how would you request a bathroom break? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 15, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824 "2005-09-15T18:00:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![newcrasher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b3f665/32.png) [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/1 "2005-09-15T18:00:50Z")
In [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=335099#post6583920) thread we are discussing the veracity of the pic posted purporting to be a note from GWB requesting a bathroom break. So- if you were President, how would YOU word it? I’ll go first: “I gotta go shake hands with the Admiral.” I am sure you can do better… ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/2 "2005-09-15T18:10:17Z")
‘Gotta go put out a fire’. In Bush’s case though, I’m surprised there wasn’t some supe-secret pre-agreed upon super-secret high sign he could use to signal his handers with. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/3 "2005-09-15T18:37:31Z")
Just be like Forrest Gump and say “I gotta pee!” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/4 "2005-09-15T18:39:31Z")
I’d just get up and leave. Why announce anything? ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/5 "2005-09-15T18:46:12Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I’d just get up and leave. Why announce anything? It’s the middle of a speech at the UN. Some people might take it wrong if the President just up and leaves. And it appears that the note is _to_ Bush, from somebody requesting a break, possibly the Secretary of State. Somebody else it might look odd if they just up and left. Me, I’d hop right up on the counter and drop trou. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/6 "2005-09-15T18:47:42Z")
Excuse me, as this appears to be a matter that will take a fair amount of discussion/consideration, i need to pause for a few moments to make sure that I can give it the attention it deserves. Stand up, wak out. Whizz in the WC and walk back in, and thank everybody for their patience. Has worked like a charm in every meeting I have ever had to suffer through. Or he could get fitted for one of those urine pouch thingys the incontinent men wear=) ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/7 "2005-09-15T18:52:01Z")
I’d probably let loose with an SBD, and breathe through my mouth until the Secret Service got a whiff and hustled me off thinking it was some sort of chemical attack. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/8 "2005-09-15T18:57:34Z")
I remember this comment on the Queen from a book I once read about the monarchy (vaguely paraphrased): > [@](#): > > …It was then [as a child being shown art exhibits at the Palace] that she developed one of the most essential qualifications for the job: an almost inexhaustible bladder capacity. She would later say that one of the most important things she had to learn as monarch was never to pass up an opportunity to use the facilities. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/9 "2005-09-15T18:58:36Z")
Excuse me. I have to go make a deposit in the Federal Reserve. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/10 "2005-09-15T19:08:05Z")
From the other thread, here’s what _my_ note would read: “Damn but I’ve got the runs something serious. If I don’t get outta here in about two minutes I’m gonna have a ‘terrorist attack’!!” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/11 "2005-09-15T19:13:55Z")
I’m going to go exercise my porcelain-item veto. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/12 "2005-09-15T19:20:15Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I’d probably let loose with an SBD, and breathe through my mouth until the Secret Service got a whiff and hustled me off thinking it was some sort of chemical attack. According to a presidential historian whose name I can’t recall right now, Lyndon Johnson used to love to fart and make the Secret Service stand right in the cloud. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/13 "2005-09-15T19:28:24Z")
Excuse me while I answer a call from Colon Power. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/14 "2005-09-15T19:33:52Z")
My favorite is still this one of **lieu** ’s from the other thread: > [@lieu](#): > > “Condi, > Weapon of ass destruction is turtleheadin’ the brown silo. Back in 20. > W.” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/15 "2005-09-15T19:38:25Z")
If I were President, I wouldn’t interrupt important meetings to leave the room when I needed to take a pee. I would request that someone bring me a pot to piss in. They could play “Pail to the Chief” while I relieved myself. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/16 "2005-09-15T19:42:30Z")
In the film business, you say “10-100”. Or you make a motion with your hands like you’re wringing out a washcloth. In fact, I’m surprised the executive branch doesn’t already have a code word/gesture. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/17 "2005-09-15T19:43:27Z")
If I were one of the most powerful people in the world, I’d just take a dump right on the table in front of me and let the rest of the room deal with it. F\*#@ it, I have nukes. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/18 "2005-09-15T19:46:40Z")
Excuse me, I’ve got to make a penile appointment. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/19 "2005-09-15T19:56:36Z")
“Excuse me, but I need to take a minute to express my respect for the voting public.” ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/20 "2005-09-15T20:31:32Z")
“I REALLY FUCKING NEED TO TAKE A HUGE FUCKING SHIT RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”. Wouldn’t have to worry about the news wire printing that. But, yeah, you’d think they’d have a code or something. “The prairie dog is entering the garden” or something. Then the news wire wouldn’t know if he was going to take a shit or nuke Iran. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824.md?page=2)