# If you were President, how would you request a bathroom break?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [September 15, 2005, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824 "2005-09-15T18:00:50Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/41 "2005-09-16T10:49:44Z")

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I’d use my prearranged signal to the Secret Service that I needed a ride/armed escort to the bathroom…which would be that I’d clutch my chest and scream “CHRIST, I’VE BEEN SHOT!” When I got back, I’d just say “Sorry, everyone, just gas. Sorry. But boy, haven’t we all been there?”

This would only be funny the first couple of times, I guess. Oh well.

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**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/42 "2005-09-16T11:22:14Z")

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> [@duffer](#):
>
> Wasn’t there an Aide or Aides that stated LBJ would pinch a loaf while not only leaving the door open, but insisting that said poor sap had to be in the bathroom? I know I’ve read it, but can’t remember where. Anyone else hear this? It was usually, from what I remember, someone reading him the latest news every morning or taking down a speech.

Damn! You know, everything I’ve ever heard about LBJ suggests that he was the meanest, nastiest son of a bitch you’d ever have the misfortune to meet.

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**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\
**Post date:** [September 16, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-president-how-would-you-request-a-bathroom-break/321824/43 "2005-09-16T13:42:09Z")

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> [@Argent Towers](#):
>
> I’d squat right in the middle of the desk and shit on it.
> 
> They call me…The Aristocrat.

Sounds more like the Aristoscat.

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