# If you were the Antichrist **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 4, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767 "2005-10-04T19:37:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/21 "2005-10-04T21:25:34Z")
- Arrange with Pope Benedict for a coordinated early-release program with Purgatory. - Old demonic possession: Only Catholic priests can perform exorcisms. New demonic possession: Privileges extended to all clergy, judges, ship captains at sea and (California only) county recorders of deeds. - Old Hell: fiery pit of eternal torment. New Hell: auto service department waiting room with burnt coffee and a TV that only gets The Nashville Network. - Special: Was 666 – now 2 for 999! ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/22 "2005-10-04T21:28:51Z")
> [@](#): > > There’s been quite a rash of end times threads as of late, hasn’t there? Yeah. I wonder if that’s a sign of anything in particular? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/23 "2005-10-04T21:42:47Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Yeah. I wonder if that’s a sign of anything in particular? It’s incontrovertible evidence of threads about the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/24 "2005-10-04T21:45:49Z")
And no, I’m not that paranoid about it. I take it as a given that the government can track my every move if it so chose. I am so tired of the “us/them” paradigm about corporations. I own three corporations, I am officially one of THEM! Now that I am no longer one of “The People” I will collect data on “The People”. As for the antichrist, the story goes that he arises from a peace movement, and once he has the world united under his new world order, he axes all the christians. Gotta remember that this shit was written when the World Government really WAS killing christians. Besides the anti-christ would be the Jewish Messiah. Erek ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/25 "2005-10-04T21:47:50Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > The thing about all this big brother monitoring of everyone’s spending habits library cards and phone conversations and locations…what exactly is the AntiChrist gonna DO with this information? How many people can you monitor individually? How many people will be required to monitor the monitors, and who will monitor them? Yeah! Why should the Anti-Christ (or that shadowy, ominous entity “The Government”) give a shit what people are doing? I think it’s a reflection of some people’s ego to assume that their doings are so interesting or significant that anyone would bother to take the time to monitor them. I guess everyone wants to feel important. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/26 "2005-10-04T21:55:55Z")
Can I be Cthulhu? Death match for Earth! Wanna arm-wrastle?? ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/27 "2005-10-04T22:07:44Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Thanks. Now I have “If I Were A Rich Man” from _Fiddler On The Roof_, going through my head, albeit with slightly different lyrics. If I were the Antichrist, And you were my lady, Would you marry me anyway, Would you have my antibaby? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/28 "2005-10-04T22:08:07Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Can I be Cthulhu? Death match for Earth! Wanna arm-wrastle?? No way man; you’ve got _waaaay_ too many arms. Were I the antichrist, I’d just carry on what I was doing anyway. Because all that outher stuff was prophesied it’ll happen whether or not I put any effort into it, right? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/29 "2005-10-04T22:14:22Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > No way man; you’ve got _waaaay_ too many arms. I gots two arms! The tentacles are more like whiskers…I didn’t say _face_-wrastle, after all. I dunno if I would just sit there and let events unfold, according to the scriptures (“according to you, oh Lord”). Seems kinda boring, and I think Anti-Christianity should not be a spectator sport. Y’know, show some initiative. Get elected to US Pres. and start a global war with Islam or something really apocalyptic like that. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/30 "2005-10-04T22:23:46Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > Hah! Like that will happen. Even if it did all it would take is a few people who know how to obscure their faces or block/disable the RFID signals at key times to make the symetrical effect Brin’s books relies on fall apart. You got nothing on me when I know how to avoid the cameras and tracking tech and you don’t. > > Enjoy, > Steven Well, the important part is “key times”. The trouble is how exactly you do this, and do you KNOW that your spoofing works. What if I just got the latest 2.0 anti-spoofer, and you’re using the old 1.0 spoofer? If you’re Bill Gates Jr. or Dick Cheney Jr., you may be pretty sure that no one is eavesdropping on you while you plan your latest nefarious crimes, but how can you be sure? The only safe thing to do is assume that your every move is being watched Anyway, putting on a mask isn’t that helpful if everyone can see that you’re wearing a mask. If you’re walking down the sidewalk today and notice somone wearing a mask, don’t you subject them to heightened scrutiny? If no one except you is wearing a mask the mask doesn’t hide you it identifies you. And of course, the biggest defense against nefarious surveillance is that very few people really care about my daily activities. What exactly do they gain from watching me? Especially if I know they’re watching me. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/31 "2005-10-04T22:34:03Z")
Damn! And I thought I’d already had [this job](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=294244) completely sewn up. What with the dominating and all. Now I’ll have to have a word with Bob and see what he’s been up to (like napping in the AC while watching soaps) instead of doing his job to make sure that _I_ stay top doggie badass. Or else I’ll take his “Junior Mod” whip, and goats too!, away. ::: harumph ::: ~faithf666l ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/32 "2005-10-04T22:47:18Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > What if I just got the latest 2.0 anti-spoofer, and you’re using the old 1.0 spoofer? I wrote the 2.0 spoofer. Trust me, you don’t have a thing on me while I have tons of dirt on you. Nope, Brin’s “Transparent Society” just creates a different kind of class inequality. Instead of race or economic class it becomes the gulf between the information-aware and the non information-aware. A lot of it exists today. I can go to a courthouse and look up someone’s vital records, marriage certificate, property assessments, etc. and use it to my advantage in bargains with them because odds are they don’t even know this information is available about me as well. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/33 "2005-10-04T22:50:24Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > I gots two arms! The tentacles are more like whiskers…I didn’t say _face_-wrastle, after all. > > I dunno if I would just sit there and let events unfold, according to the scriptures (“according to you, oh Lord”). Seems kinda boring, and I think Anti-Christianity should not be a spectator sport. Y’know, show some initiative. Get elected to US Pres. and start a global war with Islam or something really apocalyptic like that. Ah, okay. It’s been a while since I studied cthulhulian anatomy. Now all I’d have to worry about the fact that you’re probably a lot bigger than me, and also should I be worried about going insane or something in the meantime? And I didn’t say I would do _nothing_; I just have better things to do than go around applying stamps to people as if to let them get back into the amusement park. The main goal would be personal wealth and power with a minimum of effort, which means basically staling it from others. So, yes, I might emulate Bush’s methods I suppose, but frankly I’d rather inspire terror as opposed to ridicule and insult. Surely as a proper antichrist, I should be able to get a little respect, right? ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/34 "2005-10-04T23:24:46Z")
As the Pit version of the AntiChrist, I’m banishing this sucker to IMHO where it belongs. Veb (no tentacles) ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/35 "2005-10-04T23:24:49Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > I wrote the 2.0 spoofer. Trust me, you don’t have a thing on me while I have tons of dirt on you. > > Nope, Brin’s “Transparent Society” just creates a different kind of class inequality. Instead of race or economic class it becomes the gulf between the information-aware and the non information-aware. A lot of it exists today. I can go to a courthouse and look up someone’s vital records, marriage certificate, property assessments, etc. and use it to my advantage in bargains with them because odds are they don’t even know this information is available about me as well. > > Enjoy, > Steven Hell, you can just look someone up on Google and fuck with them. It’s not that hard. We got some hate mail from a dude about a project we did and he dissed the design of the website. I told my friend that he was probably a designer who was upset about his lot in life and thought he could do better. We googled him, and found out that he was a second year design student in the midwest. It’s REAL easy to get info on people. As for why the antichrist might want to know where you are. Well, for the same reasons the government might want to track you now. Like umm… you are a political dissident? If the government knows where everyone is at any time, it’s a lot easier to bring the wrath down on someone anonymously if you have access to assassins, weapons and knowledge of where they are at any given moment. Erek ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/36 "2005-10-04T23:25:52Z")
> [@TVeblen](#): > > As the Pit version of the AntiChrist, I’m banishing this sucker to IMHO where it belongs. > > Veb (no tentacles) Yeah, it started out as a rant about how stupid the number of the Beast was and turned into a my opinion thing, I realized as soon as I had posted it. Erek ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/37 "2005-10-04T23:40:43Z")
> [@](#): > > If I were the antichrist, I wouldn’t waste time trying to force people to accept the mark of the beast, that’s silly and unecessary Um… what do you think " biometric readers as “security” devices to everyone" is? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/40 "2005-10-05T08:35:04Z")
If I were the anti-christ, I’d quietly, behind the scenes, foster a cultural undercurrent of luddism and technophobia to the point where it would overwhelm civilization _just_ as it was about to make the leap into a pure “Information Age,” and humans were to develop into cybernetic marvels as far advanced from modern man as modern man is above gibbons. 😃 ::thumb in the eye smiley:: ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/41 "2005-10-05T08:42:19Z")
> [@Umlaut du Fromage](#): > > hey i can’t edit stuff, i spelled BECOSE wrong up there If you were the antichrist, you’d probably be allowed to edit your posts. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2005, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767/42 "2005-10-05T08:59:41Z")
Humm, if I were the antichrist, I think I’d go back to Salt Lake and get my tithing back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-antichrist/324767.md?page=3)