George Washington would briefly appear in each movie of mine: a quick shot of his face on a dollar bill, his portrait on the wall, a sculpture or statue as the characters walk by, or a quarter in a character’s hand.
But the penguins are a nice idea, too.
I would have a fight scene next to a swimming pool, and nobody falls in the pool.
In Jusassic Park II, there were characters named Roland and Van Owen, as a hidden reference to a Warren Zevon song. I’d try to come up with some theme for the names of the characters. Best I have so far is Thompson, Bendix, Collier and Schneider.
I’d have someone in every movie, trip over something that isn’t there.
Also, a dinosaur running around in the background. Never mentioned or acknowledged.
Put in weird puns on signs like “Monte’s Video” and “Weir High.”
The main character goes to the bathroom, opens the door and see’s a monkey sitting on the toilet and says, “Oh, excuse me” and then goes on like nothing weird happened.
I’d put in a digital skip in the film that feels like when there’s a slight half second problem with the projector at the theatre. A dialogue/scene type of skip that doesn’t ruin what’s going on in my movie. Nobody would know I did it until it came out on DVD and realized there was the exact same skip.
Nothing.
Ah, but what would it look like? 
See this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=362216
Thanks. You know, we could combine the two and have penguins dressed up like George Washington.
This actually happened in real life, and I’ve wanted to put it in a movie ever since:
People are waiting for an elevator. The doors open and there’s a strange bald man stainding the middle of the elevator, holding a stick up in the air and staring intently at the ceiling. He doesn’t react to anyone getting into the car, and nobody says anything to him.
In real life, it turned out he was the elevator maintence guy - the stick had a suction cup on the end and he was using it to change the recessed emergency light bulbs. I’m not sure if I’d actually explain that in the movie.
This kind of reminds me of this thread.
I still think I’d use song lyrics as dialogue at some point. I’ve always thought that a politician making a speech about someone’s just-discovered larceny could say “All along there were incidents and accidents, there were hints and allegations…”
And of course, if that politician had been Paul Simon , so much the better. But it’s probably too late for that.
thwartme
Good old-fashioned nekkid chicks.
Every film of mine would have a 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, with fine Corinthian Leather…somewhere in the film, either passing by, or parked. Kind of like Hitchcock appearing briefly in each of his films.
I would have scenes take place in exact replicas of well known sets from other productions: Archie Bunker’s living room or Cheers or Fawlty Towers or the Cantina at Mos Eisley. . .
Odinoneeye, I like the cut of your jib!
I would somehow work the title of an Andrew Lloyd Webber song into every movie; i.e.
Guy #1: You can’t go to Chile! Not now!
Guy #2: Well, I didn’t even want to, so don’t cry for me.
Guy #1: Argentina is a definite possibility, however.
I always saw it as a sinouous kinda flame that’s always slightly different every time you look at it.
-TatterJoe
I like that! It’s too obtrusive to put in every movie, but after the first one the character names could show up in the background without being noticed, e.g. a newspaper headline, a billboard, credits on a TV screen.
For my movies, I’d have an extra in the background dressed very retro (or even Victorian) and reading some avant-garde magazine.
Somehow, somewhere, there would be a sprig/spray/leaf of ivy.
Yes, I have ivy decor in my home. My dishes are Callaway from Corning, and my dining room chandelier is ivy-etched glass.