# If you were the first human to walk .. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 6, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045 "2009-01-06T05:02:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/21 "2009-01-06T09:32:55Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > “Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?” Testing . . . testing . . . 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . . . ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/22 "2009-01-06T09:33:31Z")
Turning to fellow astronaut “I thought YOU had the keys!” ---
**Author:** ![footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9f8e36/32.png) [@footballisplayedwithyourfeet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/footballisplayedwithyourfeet)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/23 "2009-01-06T09:35:59Z")
I think it would be something like this [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dIkHLO93lCA/hqdefault.jpg "Onion Moon Landing") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIkHLO93lCA) so…pretty much what **Snarky\_Kong** said ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/24 "2009-01-06T09:47:41Z")
“Yatta!” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/25 "2009-01-06T15:06:37Z")
“Where’s the shitter?” It’s a long flight. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/26 "2009-01-06T15:51:05Z")
> [@](#): > > Whoopie! Pete Conrad, Apollo 12. ---
**Author:** ![Gwyen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/858c86/32.png) [@Gwyen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gwyen)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/27 "2009-01-06T17:20:15Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > You put your left leg in > You put your left leg out > You put your left leg in > And you shake it all about. > You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around > That’s what it’s all about… This 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/28 "2009-01-06T17:29:27Z")
Because of the obvious threat to untold numbers of citizens due to the crisis that is even now developing, this radio station will remain on the air day and night. This station and hundreds of other radio and TV stations throughout this part of the country are pooling their resources through an emergency network hook-up to keep you informed of all developments. At this hour, we repeat, these are the facts as we know them. There is an epidemic of mass murder being committed by a virtual army of unidentified assassins. The murders are taking place in villages and cities, in rural homes and suburbs with no apparent pattern nor reason for the slayings. It seems to be a sudden general explosion of mass homicide. We have some descriptions of the assassins. Eyewitnesses say they are ordinary-looking people. Some say they appear to be in a kind of trance. Others describe them as being misshapen monsters. At this point, there’s no really authentic way for us to say who or what to look for and guard yourself against. ---
**Author:** ![TheScogg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@TheScogg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheScogg)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/29 "2009-01-06T17:30:56Z")
“Holy shit, I’m sinking!!!” And who’s gonna stop me? I’m on the freakin’ moon, baby! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/30 "2009-01-06T17:31:55Z")
My mind would be too boggle to think up something clever. I’d likely as not say, “Holy fuck, I’m on the MOON!” ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/31 "2009-01-06T17:47:13Z")
“It looks just like the pictures” StG ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/32 "2009-01-06T17:58:28Z")
Me so horny! ---
**Author:** ![Alienhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@Alienhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alienhand)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/33 "2009-01-06T18:12:38Z")
One small step…wait, is that the er… you assholes really sent me moon!? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/34 "2009-01-06T18:15:09Z")
Hey! I can see my house from here! ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/35 "2009-01-06T18:18:38Z")
I knew I should’ve turned left at Alba-koi-kee. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/36 "2009-01-06T18:19:11Z")
America got here. Next? And until then STFU 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/37 "2009-01-06T18:20:43Z")
Talk about a way to lose weight! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/38 "2009-01-06T18:28:53Z")
Damn it’s dusty here. Up to me ankle she is. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/39 "2009-01-06T18:30:10Z")
I think it would be fun to step just off camera then say, "Well, I’m seeing craters and dust and…wait…what the fuck is that? Something just moved. My God, what IS that thing? HOLY SHIT, IT’S COMING RIGHT AT ME! Noooooooooooooooooooo… ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2009, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045/40 "2009-01-06T18:48:13Z")
> [@picker](#): > > I knew I should’ve turned left at Alba-koi-kee. Win! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/if-you-were-the-first-human-to-walk/480045.md?page=3)